RE: A hole in my heart (Full Version)

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sweetNsmartBBW -> RE: A hole in my heart (12/3/2007 4:42:11 AM)

I am so sorry for your loss. 



Knite64 -> RE: A hole in my heart (12/3/2007 4:42:46 AM)

My sympathies to both you and your friends Master for the loss of someone so special to you both. 



angelikaJ -> RE: A hole in my heart (12/3/2007 8:56:45 AM)

I am so sorry.



Mercnbeth -> RE: A hole in my heart (12/3/2007 9:55:33 AM)

quote:

...She accepted me with all of my flaws, encouraged me in all of my endeavors, supported me in all of my moments of weakness or sorrow...and never once stood in judgment of me...


what a beautiful tribute, erin.  warmest thoughts and wishes and hopes that your memories give you some comfort at this time.
hugs!!!



LadyPact -> RE: A hole in my heart (12/3/2007 10:08:11 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: mistoferin

I lost one of my dearest friends today, she passed away suddenly. She was only 37 years old. She was a beautiful human being, a woman who was so full of life...so full of love. She was as tough as nails and as soft as butter. She walked many dark roads in her lifetime and had come to find peace and light in her service to her Master...the love of her life. She was devoted and proud in her slavery. She was one of a scarce few people in this world who really, really understood me...who I could be completely bare in front of. She accepted me with all of my flaws, encouraged me in all of my endeavors, supported me in all of my moments of weakness or sorrow...and never once stood in judgment of me. She brought so much to my life and we shared so much laughter, so much joy. She knew me in ways that no one else ever has...and shared herself with me in those same ways. I took it for granted that she would always just be there...and I will miss her immensely. I think there will always be a hole in my heart....

I know that losing someone we love is always a hard thing to bear regardless of whether or not they are in this lifestyle or not. But it feels different somehow because of our common orientation. Have you ever felt the void that someone in the lifestyle leaves differently?




I was just responding to a thread on another board on this matter.  Yes, I think it does.



stella41b -> RE: A hole in my heart (12/3/2007 11:48:17 AM)

I'm so sorry to hear about your loss.

My thoughts were on this only this week. December 10 will be the second anniversary after Dagmara left my circle of friends. Dagmara was 23, a pre-op TS female, living in Warsaw, she was only about 5ft 6ins, had her own blonde hair, she was an exception, as she was working in an office as a woman, she had a wonderful male partner. I got to see her for the last time about a week before I left Poland. She was telling me about her first Christmas as a woman with her parents, of coming out. She bought presents, everything. She went home, it went pear-shaped, her father threw her out of the house and told her never to come back. Dagmara took her own life.

She gave me some advice... best illustrated as follows...

"Never wait or hesitate
Get in kid, before it's too late
You may never get another chance
'Cos youth a mask but it don't last
live it long and live it fast" Rod Stewart, 'The Killing of Georgie'

These are the words that come to mind whenever I'm in a difficult situation. She left behind the question 'why?' which I will never be able to answer. The memory of her gives me as much strength now as it did when she was alive.

This is all I can offer to respond to your OP mist, and offer as (hopefully) some sort of comfort. Time heals, it takes time, and that space will never really be filled. People can come into your life suddenly and they can leave just as suddenly too. But you know, she did come into your life, and she shared her life with you, and accepted you, and she wouldn't want you to be unhappy. One of the most beautiful things about life is that people can give you so much and you can give so much back and together you create such wonderful memories from which you can find happiness and strength when they're no longer around. And they can do this because friendship and love come from the Soul, that part of us which is above life and death. Therefore I'd like to suggest that although your friend can no longer be with you, your friendship with her is still as strong today as it ever was. Please take comfort in this to help you come to terms with your loss, and remember.

In sympathy

stella



mistoferin -> RE: A hole in my heart (12/3/2007 1:51:58 PM)

stella, thank you, that was very comforting.

Thank you to all who have responded, it is greatly appreciated.



LaTigresse -> RE: A hole in my heart (12/3/2007 2:23:48 PM)

Dear Erin,

I am so sorry for you. Losing someone so close, such a part of your soul, is a pain that words just cannot describe. There is no shortcut through the grief. To try and find one only prolongs it. Embrace your loss for it reflects the wonder of what you shared with your friend. Some people never have that connection with another person.

My jemma has been gone for many months now and the ache is still there. I think, to a degree, it always will be. I don't see it as a bad thing, just a reminder of what we shared. I was a lucky woman to have her in my life for the time I did. I think she will always be with me.

I feel like we always maintain a connection to those we love, even after they leave this physical realm. They remain a part of us.



Twicehappy2x -> RE: A hole in my heart (12/3/2007 4:41:55 PM)

Ah...erin..my friend, my heart mourns for your loss. If you need anything just call.
 
Here is a poem from a book i love, it always reminds of those loved and lost.
 
"My heart has rooms that sigh with dust
And ashes in the hearth.
They must be cleaned and blown away
By daylight's breath.
But I cannot essay the task,
For even dust to me is dear;
For dust and ashes still recall,
My love was here

"I know not how to say Farewell,
When Farewell is the word
That stays alone for me to say
Or will be heard.
But I cannot speak out that word
Or ever let my loved one go
How can I bear it that these rooms
Are empty so?

"I sit among the dust and hope
That dust will cover me.
I stir the ashes in the hearth,
Though cold they be.
I cannot bear to close the door,
To seal my loneliness away
While dust and ashes yet remain
Of my love's day."




LATEXBABY64 -> RE: A hole in my heart (12/3/2007 5:11:56 PM)

Many hugs sorry for your loss.



PsyVamp -> RE: A hole in my heart (12/3/2007 5:19:07 PM)

I'd just like to offer my condolences. 
Although it may not be face to face, you have a lot of us to yell and scream and cry to if you need.

Lady Jag.. (Psy)



mistoferin -> RE: A hole in my heart (12/3/2007 7:04:47 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Twicehappy2x
If you need anything just call.


You're such an awesome friend, I love ya! Thank you for the poem, I loved it. And you're probably gonna get sick of me calling ya.



KnightofMists -> RE: A hole in my heart (12/3/2007 7:10:39 PM)

First... very sorry for the loss of your kindered spirit.

Second... I never experienced the lost of what you discribe of someone within this lifestyle or out.  I have experienced losses... but they didn't have significant connection to me.  I suspect that no matter what lifestyle they live... it will be their significance to me that will influence the feelings of loss.  There is actually very few that are deeply connected to me... a very few individuals that are in or out of the lifestyle.... I don't look forward to those experiences.. even thou I very much expect to have to deal with some, most if not all of them before it is my time to go



LilMinxy1 -> RE: A hole in my heart (12/3/2007 7:28:07 PM)

I am so sorry for your loss.  You were lucky to have a friend like her, but she was also lucky.  She had you!  What you have written is proof that she made an impact on your life.  That's what were here for!
In this time of pain, just try to remember that you gave her the best gift you could.  You were her friend.  And now you have given her another gift!  In telling us all about her beauty as a person, you have ensured that she lives on forever, in all of our memories.  And you have given us a gift.  You have reminded us of the kind of friend we need to be, and the kind of friend we deserve to have.
She hears you, so keep talking. 
All my sympathy.  My heart is with you.
~Love and Light My Sweet~



lilgurrl -> RE: A hole in my heart (12/3/2007 7:50:43 PM)

Sorry for your loss, Erin.  It sounds like a beautiful friendship.

Wishing you peace.



Twicehappy2x -> RE: A hole in my heart (12/4/2007 3:53:07 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: mistoferin

And you're probably gonna get sick of me calling ya.


Never gonna happen hon, i love you too.



SweetSarijane -> RE: A hole in my heart (12/4/2007 8:52:16 AM)

My heartfelt sympathies and condolences to you and your friend's Master on your loss. Remember that while she may be physically gone, she will ever live on in your heart and the memories you treasure.



mistoferin -> RE: A hole in my heart (12/4/2007 2:35:53 PM)

Thank you all so much for your warm thoughts. They have helped me a lot. It is a busy time with all of the arrangements that must be made. I have been searching poetry and trying to figure out how to write a eulogy. I've never had to be quite this involved in a funeral before. I'm very glad that it doesn't happen often.



Kana -> RE: A hole in my heart (12/4/2007 2:44:34 PM)

My the joy of her memeory
outweigh the friend losts
and remember always that though we shall never see them more in  this world of tears in which we dwell
that their spirit will linger in our own
beating aside our own



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