RE: crying (Full Version)

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gorgeous1 -> RE: crying (12/4/2007 11:59:31 AM)

I almost cried the other night. I wanted to cry, but I was enjoying it too much.

I think the only way I would cry is if it was out of embarrassment or humiliation.




breatheasone -> RE: crying (12/4/2007 12:00:49 PM)

quote:

my Dom seems to be able to make me cry real tears very easily and its not a trait i had before him in this my very first D's... in fact i rarely ever cried and actually thought crying was embarrising... something i avoided doing at all costs even in front of someone whom i thought i was close to... its not because of physical pain or that He is mean un... in fact very kind. but i dont understand why the tears now turn on so easy... i guess it prob is as i am devastated if i have displeased Him in some way (sound familar to anyone else??, i am also wondering if in fact this makes me very pathetic indeed in His eyes... or as mentioned He may see it as a measure of the emotional hold He has. He has never commented on the actually fact i cry really easily but i worry it might be really annoying?. What are O/other peoples views on crying?

This could have been written by me... I cry at the drop of a hat now, and I never used to... its FREAKING me out a little...and i too worry that my Master will grow tired of it....[:(]




kinkypuppy2 -> RE: crying (12/4/2007 1:02:37 PM)

During "play" its a opening up of emotional walls.




KindLadyGrey -> RE: crying (12/4/2007 1:11:36 PM)

Dacrophilia: is that what that's called? My mostly vanilla husband has that problem. He gets a boner every time I cry. I was never sure what to think of that.




VegasDom76 -> RE: crying (12/4/2007 1:17:38 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Koala

I think it's beautiful. I love it when a sub's makeup is streaked from her tears.

It also reinforces the power dynamic. The customary thing to do when a woman cries is to comfort her, not to take pleasure in the fact that you caused her pain, and continue.


This is the perfect explination, just too many Dom's/Domme's out there that dont understand this.




charlotte12 -> RE: crying (12/4/2007 1:24:47 PM)

I've cried during scenes. Usually because something feels so good or i feel so close to him or so vulnerable. I hope to cry from physcial pain someday though. I look forward to when i cry for him to stop and he doesn't until i'm a sobbing mess. But then i'm one sick puppy. [:D]




agirl -> RE: crying (12/4/2007 2:09:01 PM)

Being hurt makes me cry. If he doesn't want me to cry it might be an idea to stop clouting me. As it happens he couldn't care less if I cry or not if he's whacked me. It doesn't piss him off OR give him pleasure; it's my response, that's all.

I'm not devastated if I displease him. I don't LIKE it but I can and do live with it. It's not the end of the world. I don't set out to do it but we are both sparky characters. I really wouldn't like to disappoint him but that's a different kettle of fish altogether. It would be very difficult to actually do that.

He might not have commented on your crying but what's stopped you from asking him what he thinks about it? Why don't you ask him if he thinks you appear pathetic in his eyes? Who knows what he thinks about the hold over you, unless you ask him.

What type of things are bringing you to tears?

agirl






fairerthanshe -> RE: crying (12/4/2007 2:26:09 PM)

Greetings serisa,

When SJ and I started seeing each other, the first time he hypnotized me it was to install what I have come to call the prime directive - "Suffer for me."  Not only am I free to experience and express how I feel with each touch, (as opposed to trying to "take it"), I cry openly in response to what he is doing.

SJ enjoys the tears, the makeup being ruined, the snot running - the whole shebang - and will look at me and ask "Do you want me to stop?" and I simply shake my head and say "I don't know Sir - I can't tell anymore."  He pushes me past the point where I can make a decision and I trust him with this power.  The tears are real and they are for him, for his pleasure, for his enjoyment - and I am grateful to be given the opportunity to experience them.

well wishes ~ fairer than she


quote:

ORIGINAL: serisa

What exactly is this thing Doms/Masters seem to have have their sub/slave crying?  i seem to notice reference to tears alot in poems that talk of a relationship with this type of dynamic... i.e 'relishing those tears'.

i presume it is not refering to making a sub cry tears because of pain in a scene ?  (does anyone find pain makes them cry and what do Doms think of this type of reaction?)

would i be more correct in thinking its less to do with physical pain however and more about the type of emotional hold a Dom has over ones sub?.  i cant see apart from perhaps more sadistic ones a Dom would enjoy seeing their sub crying tears or would they? !

my Dom seems to be able to make me cry real tears very easily and its not a trait i had before him in this my very first D's... in fact i rarely ever cried and actually thought crying was embarrising... something i avoided doing at all costs even in front of someone whom i thought i was close to... its not because of physical pain or that He is mean un... in fact very kind.  but i dont understand why the tears now turn on so easy... i guess it prob is as i am devastated if i have displeased Him in some way (sound familar to anyone else??, i am also wondering if in fact this makes me very pathetic indeed in His eyes... or as mentioned He may see it as a measure of the emotional hold He has.  He has never commented on the actually fact i cry really easily but i worry it might be really annoying?.  What are O/other peoples views on crying?

thank Y/you




LuckyAlbatross -> RE: crying (12/4/2007 10:08:05 PM)

LOL that was a hard lesson to learn as a top- asking "How are you doing?" is a totally worthless question and just frustrates everyone.




ownedgirlie -> RE: crying (12/5/2007 1:39:04 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

LOL that was a hard lesson to learn as a top- asking "How are you doing?" is a totally worthless question and just frustrates everyone.


Very true.  I will sometimes get "What's going on?" if he is uncertain by my tears.  Of course this is usually answered with a bunch of mumbled, drunken sounding words that don't make any sense, lol, so I end up saying, "I'm OK" to set him at ease.

He doesn't like tears much.  Maybe because I was such a crybaby about everything when we first began.  He taught me to stop crying, gain composure, think things through, and express myself.  Now when I find myself tearfully stressed, I can hear him in my head saying "Stop crying" and I immediately compose and assess.

As for when he is using me, tears streaming down my face with an occasional outcry are one thing, but wailing and sobbing are not preferred by him.  He likes when I try to stay composed for him, knowing how difficult that is.  That lights his fire more than making me cry.  He has never been impressed with tears (poor me!) but loves when a submissive will overcome her own pain or angst for him.  Then again, his sadistic streak is less about the physical and more about the mental/emotional.  This is just as well for me, since I hate pain but live for a good mental challenge.




Koala -> RE: crying (12/5/2007 8:19:58 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: VegasDom76

quote:

ORIGINAL: Koala

I think it's beautiful. I love it when a sub's makeup is streaked from her tears.

It also reinforces the power dynamic. The customary thing to do when a woman cries is to comfort her, not to take pleasure in the fact that you caused her pain, and continue.


This is the perfect explination, just too many Dom's/Domme's out there that dont understand this.



:D

I DID SOMETHING RIGHT!!!!

*dances*




YourServiceSlave -> RE: crying (12/5/2007 10:13:32 AM)

This is so interesting and helpful to read.  When I first met my Master, the subject of crying came up and I told him with confidence that I would probably never cry, because I'd never been made to cry before.  Wrong wrong wrong!  I have cried in scene a few times now, sometimes in a really cathartic way, sometimes in a way that left me shaken.  Last week something triggered a massive cry and I still don't know why, it was a gentle beautiful bondage scene, no real pain involved, and I totally tranced for a while in the ropes in a beautiful way.  Why that was followed by deep racking emotional sobbing I do not understand, and I think it bothered my Master.  I know it bothered me. 




breatheasone -> RE: crying (12/5/2007 10:21:56 AM)

This is one of the threads that has actually helped me [:)] I am SO glad I'm not the only "s" type that has become a crying fool around her "D" type.... One of the only things I could come up with as far as a reason..is that FOR ME...this is BAR NONE the most intense relationship(emotionally and physically) I have EVER had...that has to be the culprit.




toservez -> RE: crying (12/5/2007 1:09:24 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

LOL that was a hard lesson to learn as a top- asking "How are you doing?" is a totally worthless question and just frustrates everyone.


I do not know how to write and agree with this more. When learning each other it can be important even if it is a buzz kill but on the whole if a person needs to always get expressed direct acknowledgment of this then they might not be cut out for dominating anyone.




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