Taik
Posts: 307
Joined: 8/5/2005
Status: offline
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I am of the opinion that if you are looking for a LTR you better well be prepared to learn all about the vanilla before you get to any of the toppings. There really are more things to life then kinks, and relationships (D/s or otherwise) are about sharing each other and experiences. You need to be prepared to entertain her and please her in ways outside of the bedroom and kink. The only way you are going to be able to do that is to get to know her. So it is in your best intrest (for those thinking of themselves) to stop thinking about your kinks and your gratification and start asking her what she likes to read, what type of movies she enjoys, what topics does she enjoy conversing over. I'm willing to bet she'd be more apt to let you enjoy one of your intests for a time if you had just taken the time to surpirse her with a book from her favorite author or tickets to the theater. Who knows maybe you'll get lucky and she'll take you to the show on a leash.
As for looking for a Domme... I would be amazed if one ever actually took the time to write me first (no thats not a self loathing outlook), mostly becuase I imagine they are pretty well swamped with messages as it is. Not to mention in my own opinion, as a sub I expect to do foot work, that dosnt mean im going to take away her chance to persue, capture and enjoy. It means that I'm going to take the time to read, forums, to read profiles, to better myself, it means taking some iniative and write a Domme, and I'm going to ask her about the most important thing in a sub's life... HER!!!!
Now so you found someone who intrests you and she took the time (out of her 300 other emails) to write you back. Obviously you did something to catch her attention, nows your chance ask her about HER .. about the vanilla, about her life, about work, about friends and family, anything just ask about her. After all she is the center of your world you better know everything you can about her. Keep her engaged, discover something she likes to discuss and talk to her about it, and please show some genuine intrest. Yu dont need to ask her everything or discuss everything in one e-mail... relationships take time so take time in learning about her. Sooner or later kinks will come up either on accident, a natural flow of conversation, or becuase she intenetionaly broached the subject. Now you've made it this far don't pile your laundry list of intrests and kinks on her =p take the time to learn hers and you better well be expecting to try some of hers if you havnt done them before =p after all its her happiness and enjoyment not yours that you should be seeking.
Now for all the subs out there (reguardless of the type of Dom/Domme you seek) for your own sake and your own mental and physical health please remember you are Human. Being a sub (in my opinion) is about seeing to her/his happiness and welfare, one would think that your Dom/Domme should be the center of your world. Now believe it or not this is possible with out being self loathing, you need to think about who and what you are and take time to explore yourself. You need to establish confidence in yourself, your abilitys, and your ability to please. I would think Mistress's and Masters alike would prefer a Sub of strong charatcer who is confident in themselves and there abilitys to serve and please, over a doormat sub who hates themselves and cowers in the corner afraid to ask what he/she may do to keep thier Dom/Domme happy. In a world where nothing is fair and most things are judged on appearnce Confidence, Bearing, and Strength of Character will ALWAYS set you apart from your peers.
Soooo thats just my 2 cents.
And for those to subs busy or lazy to read the whole thing... Do some soul searching decide who and what you are, take confidence in your abilitys to please, and remeber kinks aren't everything they are just toppings on the bowl of Vanilla Ice Cream.
Lastly I apologize for the noxious grammer and spelling that I'm sure is present but I cant seem to find at 11pm
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Celf proklaimd speln profesikinal.
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RE: Subs - how to get a dominant interested - and stay ... - 
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