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Showing Him I'm worth it(his sub) - 12/5/2007 8:06:22 PM

stacee

Posts: 10
Joined: 11/27/2007
Status: offline

I want a certain Dom as my Dom (granted I only know him through his profile, never met or chatted), but he hasn't given me an answer one way or the other. I decided that I will give up; but someone suggested that I be patient and prove to the Dom that I am what he is looking for...my question is how?
Any suggestion will be very much appreciated. How do you prove to a Dom that you are what they are looking for? Is it worth convincing them? The only venue mind you is collarme.com, so I don't know if there's anything else to do...

Post #: 1

RE: Showing Him I'm worth it(his sub) - 12/5/2007 8:13:57 PM

OldBastardly1

Posts: 651
Joined: 7/22/2006
From: Atlanta, GA
Status: offline

Be who you truly are. It is better to not be loved for who you are, then to win your Dom by being somebody else.

_____________________________

Old Bastard

"You cannot make footprints in the sands of time if you're sitting on your butt. And who wants to make buttprints in the sands of time?" -- Bob Moawad

(in reply to stacee)

Post #: 2

RE: Showing Him I'm worth it(his sub) - 12/5/2007 8:14:05 PM

laurell3

Posts: 6577
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline

At this point you don't really know whether he is what you are looking for. Keep that in mind. Any impression you have from a profile only may or may not be accurate.

Coming across as desperate will most assuredly likely cause concern on his part. Wait for his response.

_____________________________

I cannot be defined by moments in my life, but must be considered for by the entirety of my existence.

When you fail to consider that I am the best judge for what is right for me, all of your opinions become suspect to me.

(in reply to stacee)

Post #: 3

RE: Showing Him I'm worth it(his sub) - 12/5/2007 8:20:28 PM

Stephann

Posts: 4214
Joined: 12/27/2006
From: Portland, OR
Status: offline

Erm...

I'd start with writing the guy and saying hello. I'd follow up with friendly conversation in email, followed by messenger, and offer him my phone number.

I'd enjoy polite (and non-sexual) discussions several times on the phone until I know he's someone I'd really like to get to know better over several days, at which point I'd introduce the thought of meeting for coffee or dinner.

Stephan

_____________________________

Nosce Te Ipsum

"The blade itself incites to violence" - Homer

Men: Find a Woman here

(in reply to laurell3)

Post #: 4

RE: Showing Him I'm worth it(his sub) - 12/5/2007 8:36:10 PM

Lordandmaster

Posts: 10943
Joined: 6/22/2004
Status: offline

If you've already tried once to catch his attention, and he refuses to respond, doing anything else goes under the category of stalking.

(in reply to stacee)

Post #: 5

RE: Showing Him I'm worth it(his sub) - 12/5/2007 8:41:44 PM

stacee

Posts: 10
Joined: 11/27/2007
Status: offline

well he did respond, and asked for more detail on what exactly i was looking for and for a pic. i told him what i was looking for, as best as i could, and asked him to let me know if after seeing what i was looking for, if he could still fit with me, and also told him that i would send him a pic as soon as i get his response. still waiting on his response.

(in reply to Lordandmaster)

Post #: 6

RE: Showing Him I'm worth it(his sub) - 12/5/2007 8:43:38 PM

Lordandmaster

Posts: 10943
Joined: 6/22/2004
Status: offline

You could try sending him that e-mail ONE more time, because sometimes e-mail on Collarme goes lost, so it's not completely inconceivable that he never got your message (or you never got his). But if he still doesn't respond, I think that means it's time to start looking at other profiles again.

(in reply to stacee)

Post #: 7

RE: Showing Him I'm worth it(his sub) - 12/5/2007 10:14:27 PM

breatheasone

Posts: 4004
Joined: 7/14/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lordandmaster

You could try sending him that e-mail ONE more time, because sometimes e-mail on Collarme goes lost, so it's not completely inconceivable that he never got your message (or you never got his). But if he still doesn't respond, I think that means it's time to start looking at other profiles again.

Yeah...what he said....do that.

_____________________________

Romans 10:13,For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.
Mike posts in black font
candy posts in pink font

(in reply to Lordandmaster)

Post #: 8

RE: Showing Him I'm worth it(his sub) - 12/5/2007 10:50:02 PM

masterlink65

Posts: 683
Joined: 11/3/2007
Status: offline

quote:

How do you prove to a Dom that you are what they are looking for? Is it worth convincing them?

one way to prove to a dom you are what he is looking for, is to do something simple. like for example, follow an instruction given to you, by him. such as when he asked you to send a photo, and instead of sending him a photo, you sent him an instruction, you email me and i will send photo. you really mean to tell me the only photo you have of yourself is the one in your profile?

any dom is going to want a sub to be able to at least submit, and maybe even follow an order from time to time.

(in reply to stacee)

Post #: 9

RE: Showing Him I'm worth it(his sub) - 12/5/2007 10:53:28 PM

masterlink65

Posts: 683
Joined: 11/3/2007
Status: offline

sorry,,,,

tell us.. i should have used tell us, not tell me

(in reply to masterlink65)

Post #: 10

RE: Showing Him I'm worth it(his sub) - 12/5/2007 11:17:19 PM

DefiantFlower

Posts: 204
Joined: 2/15/2007
Status: offline

i agree with masterlink. That bit about you sending a picture only after he complies with your wishes...that's not really the route to take. i'm all for using cat and mouse charm once you've reeled em in a bit. But it seems he's simply going about business as usual until you respond the way he asked you to.

OR he's just busy and hasn't had time to write back. Who knows?

(in reply to masterlink65)

Post #: 11

RE: Showing Him I'm worth it(his sub) - 12/5/2007 11:22:55 PM

MasterFireMaam

Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline

Is is possible that you're chasing someone who doesn't want you because you need to prove your own self-worth...to yourself...by "winning him over"? Continue to talk to him, if you want, but be only yourself. This way, if he DOES decide to pursue you, he's pursuing YOU, not who you've put forth in an effort to win him.

Master Fire

_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
-----
Ms Relationship Books
-----
BDSM How-To Books

(in reply to stacee)

Post #: 12

RE: Showing Him I'm worth it(his sub) - 12/6/2007 6:16:06 AM

SlavesSoul

Posts: 22
Joined: 8/20/2006
Status: offline

There are some wonderful words of wisdom here.

Instead of asking how you prove you are worthy of him, maybe you should be more interested in finding out who he really is as a person. He may not be what you really want / need in your life. You might want to make sure that you are more than just kink compatable if you are wanting something long term.

I hate to be boring and practical....but if he loves blasting (insert whatever kind of music you hate) on a daily basis, and wants to scene to it.....I'm a masochist, but over time that would just make me insane!

Is he into hunting? Will he expect you to go along and carry his gun? Actually, I would be okay with that, and might even be a better shot...but you might not want to deal with it.

It's true that a profile can give you a glimpse of someone, but you really can't know them until you have spent enough time talking that they relax and let you see a bit more into their personality.

   I have spoken with men that sounded great in their profile and in the first conversations as well, only to find as time moved on that there were some issues going on that I would prefer not to have in my life. The opposite has also been true. I have met ment who had  very brief profiles, and who's first communications were rather uninteresting, and later found them to be much more than I thought. They just took a while to get warmed up.

   I go into it thinking...possible new friend, maybe play partner...anything else....we'll see

K

(in reply to MasterFireMaam)

Post #: 13

RE: Showing Him I'm worth it(his sub) - 12/6/2007 7:20:30 AM

KatyLied

Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline

quote:

How do you prove to a Dom that you are what they are looking for?

I don't prove anything. I allow a conversation to flow and if there's something there good, it may lead to something, it may lead to friendship, it may fizzle out. Also it's not all about the sub "proving" to the dominant, the dominant also has to particpate in the courtship or getting-to-know-you or whatever you may call it.

_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to stacee)

Post #: 14

RE: Showing Him I'm worth it(his sub) - 12/6/2007 7:23:15 AM

OldBastardly1

Posts: 651
Joined: 7/22/2006
From: Atlanta, GA
Status: offline

I can't believe I am saying this, BUT.....I have to agree with mlink on this one.

Maybe you should "reconsider" sending him a pic like he asked for. If I were He, you would hear nothing more from me until I got your pic, and if it takes too long, it would be too late.

Just my opinion.

_____________________________

Old Bastard

"You cannot make footprints in the sands of time if you're sitting on your butt. And who wants to make buttprints in the sands of time?" -- Bob Moawad

(in reply to SlavesSoul)

Post #: 15

RE: Showing Him I'm worth it(his sub) - 12/6/2007 7:27:51 AM

SirJohnMandevill

Posts: 546
Joined: 11/10/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: stacee

I want a certain Dom as my Dom (granted I only know him through his profile, never met or chatted), but he hasn't given me an answer one way or the other. I decided that I will give up; but someone suggested that I be patient and prove to the Dom that I am what he is looking for...my question is how?
Any suggestion will be very much appreciated. How do you prove to a Dom that you are what they are looking for? Is it worth convincing them? The only venue mind you is collarme.com, so I don't know if there's anything else to do...

You can't make someone do something they don't want to do. Conversely, you can't keep something from doing something they want to do.

Clearly, it's the Dom's discretion whether he replies to you or not. Making sending him a pic conditional on his reply may have been considered disrespectful. However, it's possible your e-mail may have just been lumped in with two many others. My advice: Follow up with a short message asking if he received yours...and include the photo.

Les (Purveyor of Fine, Handcrafted Kink)

_____________________________

Iam an eroticist
I am a fully eroticized being
No more neuroses
I found my strip naked soul soup
With the deviant ingredient
---The B-52s

(in reply to stacee)

Post #: 16

RE: Showing Him I'm worth it(his sub) - 12/6/2007 7:33:08 AM

mnottertail

Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: stacee

well he did respond, and asked for more detail on what exactly i was looking for and for a pic. i told him what i was looking for, as best as i could, and asked him to let me know if after seeing what i was looking for, if he could still fit with me, and also told him that i would send him a pic as soon as i get his response. still waiting on his response.

Well, luvbuggy--

How long have you waited? If it is a day or two-----look into my eyes---settle down.

If it is a couple weeks, wipe the traces of the brief desire from your mind and seek your fortunes elsewhere.

VoyageMaster

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

(in reply to stacee)

Post #: 17

RE: Showing Him I'm worth it(his sub) - 12/6/2007 7:38:18 AM

Vanatru

Posts: 300
Joined: 4/16/2004
Status: offline

It's also possible that when he read you only want to be submissive in the bedroom, he decided he wasn't interested. I know, since I live M/s 24/7, I wouldn't be interested in a kinky, vanilla relationship (which is what you're wanting). But then, I don't know who you're talking about, so maybe that's what he has on his profile as well.

(in reply to SirJohnMandevill)

Post #: 18

RE: Showing Him I'm worth it(his sub) - 12/6/2007 7:58:56 AM

breatheasone

Posts: 4004
Joined: 7/14/2007
Status: offline

Why should she or anyone else "submit" after getting ONE e-mail??

_____________________________

Romans 10:13,For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.
Mike posts in black font
candy posts in pink font

(in reply to Vanatru)

Post #: 19

RE: Showing Him I'm worth it(his sub) - 12/6/2007 8:46:12 AM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

You've set up a fantasy image of him that is based on your own projections and not based in reality because the truth is, you don't know him.

Now, if he sounds like you might click, you send a friendly email saying you liked what he said about x y or z, and ask a question for him to respond to. If he ignores you, wait two weeks and try again. Beyond that, either you don't fit into his requirements so your emails have gone directly to bulk mail or he did look at your profile and didn't like it. In that case, move on.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to breatheasone)

Post #: 20

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