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RE: How would you be punished if you did this? - 12/6/2007 10:18:48 AM   
LaDee


Posts: 67
Joined: 10/22/2005
From: VA
Status: offline 		Yes it does suck. Thanks

(in reply to HottLicks)
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RE: How would you be punished if you did this? - 12/6/2007 10:20:14 AM   
HottLicks


Posts: 174
Joined: 9/21/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LaDee

At first I spoke w/ him abt it he still denies it just says they r friends.  I emailed her and told her he was NOT available and she lied and said they were ONLY friends too. Then I caught them sending IMs latenight and I busted them.  I told her to saty away from him or I would post their conversations online.


Not sure that would be a great idea... and I think it might be against the rules here too. 

(in reply to LaDee)
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RE: How would you be punished if you did this? - 12/6/2007 10:21:50 AM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: HottLicks

quote:

ORIGINAL: LaDee

At first I spoke w/ him abt it he still denies it just says they r friends.  I emailed her and told her he was NOT available and she lied and said they were ONLY friends too. Then I caught them sending IMs latenight and I busted them.  I told her to saty away from him or I would post their conversations online.


Not sure that would be a great idea... and I think it might be against the rules here too. 


I'd consider it pretty petty. It's not going to fix any of the problems.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to HottLicks)
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RE: How would you be punished if you did this? - 12/6/2007 10:22:08 AM   
LaDee


Posts: 67
Joined: 10/22/2005
From: VA
Status: offline 		I took away his priviledges @ home, butt he has access at work. 

(in reply to proudsub)
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RE: How would you be punished if you did this? - 12/6/2007 10:24:00 AM   
LaDee


Posts: 67
Joined: 10/22/2005
From: VA
Status: offline 		he isn't on this site.

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RE: How would you be punished if you did this? - 12/6/2007 10:31:52 AM   
LaDee


Posts: 67
Joined: 10/22/2005
From: VA
Status: offline 		Some might say its petty butt it seems to ave worked he isn't chatting w/ her from home anymore. btw.....I didn't post the emails or IMs

(in reply to AquaticSub)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: How would you be punished if you did this? - 12/6/2007 10:37:53 AM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LaDee

Some might say its petty butt it seems to ave worked he isn't chatting w/ her from home anymore. btw.....I didn't post the emails or IMs


If this is just a symptom of a problem in your relationship, I highly doubt that the situation has actually been fixed - which is why I suggest you have some honest talks to figure out if it is. Including being open to him saying that his needs aren't being met.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to LaDee)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: How would you be punished if you did this? - 12/6/2007 10:41:34 AM   
HottLicks


Posts: 174
Joined: 9/21/2007
Status: offline 		Without knowing what your husband/submissive was saying and such, it is hard to say what I would do.  (I am not asking or wanting to know!)  If their conversations were beyond sexy talk and I didn't have an open relationship, I would consider that cheating and lying.  I could be jealous, but I wouldn't let that influence the situation because jealousy can be a very dark place and something one regrets if they let it rule the day.

You can't control someone intent on deception and to try only complicates things.  Why put yourself through it?  Rather than coming from a victim/jealous place... why not think about presenting your boundries or expectations and letting him decide whether he can work with them or not?  If you can't control it all and you can't just walk away, you are in a bind... From my own experiences, I just won't put up with it all and will walk away even if it is messy.  Mess's typically can be cleaned up.  Don't lose yourself and be taken to a place you won't do well in.

I feel for you... this is a tough one... Good luck to you!

(in reply to LaDee)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: How would you be punished if you did this? - 12/6/2007 10:50:58 AM   
LaDee


Posts: 67
Joined: 10/22/2005
From: VA
Status: offline 		I appreciate the advice.

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RE: How would you be punished if you did this? - 12/6/2007 12:49:42 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		I think you need some open communication. If you aren't meeting his needs, then he will look elsewhere. Dominants have responsibilities as well as rights. Included in that is the necessity to have open communication lines at all times including about the stuff you don't want to hear. Like how resentful he is, and how he's turned off, or how devalued he feels.

But for him to look else where is a symptom and not the problem. Punishing without solving the problem just exacerbates it. Try marriage counseling and own your own responsibility. Saying you don't have to meet his needs and he has to be constantly unhappy just because you're the domme doesn't cut it. Ever.

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Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


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RE: How would you be punished if you did this? - 12/6/2007 12:58:26 PM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LaDee

I appreciate the advice.


Look, tell him fine if that is what he wants to fuck around with, you are going to begin a cuck relationship....his choice, straighten the fuck up, like puritan straighten the fuck up, or he is gonna be nursing on your lovers cock, for his kicks.

I however am the type that immediately kicks that sorta shit to the curb.

Ron

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30


(in reply to LaDee)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: How would you be punished if you did this? - 12/6/2007 1:20:53 PM   
ghitaPVH


Posts: 1363
Joined: 11/14/2007
Status: offline 		personally, Id be released. No questions asked..and yea, it would involve a divorce. that shit just dont happen.

not for the cybering..hell, I can cyber with who ever I want as long as I talk to him about it.(cept I dont cause I cant stand cybering..I just flirt like mad)  but for the lying and the breach of trust.

ghita~

pssst...Ron...wanna cyber?

_____________________________

Don't expect anything of me and I promise I'll never disappoint you.

"The true man wants two things: danger and play. For that reason he wants woman, as the most dangerous plaything. --Nietzsche"

(in reply to mnottertail)
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RE: How would you be punished if you did this? - 12/6/2007 1:32:46 PM   
Gardenista


Posts: 146
Joined: 12/6/2007
Status: offline 		There'd be no divorce with us, but my husband would most likely be incredibly hurt if I did that. That would be punishment enough for me.  

(in reply to LaDee)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: How would you be punished if you did this? - 12/6/2007 2:11:52 PM   
MasterFireMaam


Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline 		I'd not punished. I'd have expressed how hurt I was and asked why he did it. I'd then base my actions on those answers. I'd probably be looking at getting out of the relationship if I felt his dishonesty was a deal breaker.

Master Fire


_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
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(in reply to LaDee)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: How would you be punished if you did this? - 12/6/2007 2:40:03 PM   
sambamanslilgirl


Posts: 10926
Joined: 2/5/2007
From: Chicago, IL
Status: offline 		Daddy (as well as my SO) know i have cyber buddies/friends in which they don't ask to see my private emails/IM messages to make sure no hanky panky is going on.  it's called  trust.




_____________________________

...2011 - year of the fabulous rock star life ...and i do it so well...


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(in reply to LaDee)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: How would you be punished if you did this? - 12/6/2007 3:15:33 PM   
girlygurl


Posts: 6973
Joined: 8/5/2007
From: in the palms of His hands
Status: offline 		If I lied to my Sir I'm sure He would punish me.  What the punishment would be, I have no idea.  As far as a cyber buddy, I don't believe He would care, He hasn't cared in the past. 

girly

(in reply to MistressTaboo)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: How would you be punished if you did this? - 12/6/2007 4:45:32 PM   
Decimus


Posts: 174
Joined: 9/17/2007
Status: offline 		Personally though I would never treat Aerith that way and shame her and myself by doing that because I feel it is cheating and would never do that period. Too much hurt and lack of respect involved.

Hypothetically, I do know IF I did do that to her...well I'd be strung up and skinned alive, and that's if she was feeling nice. Trust is a big component in our lives, one must trust implicitely if one wishes to have a strong, lasting and fufilling relationship.

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Profile   Post #: 37
RE: How would you be punished if you did this? - 12/6/2007 6:17:21 PM   
thornhappy


Posts: 8596
Joined: 12/16/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ghitaPVH

ghita~

pssst...Ron...wanna cyber?

damn, if Ron cybers, think of all the takers he'd have, eh?  Even if 'twas only the Goreans...

thornhappy

(in reply to ghitaPVH)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: How would you be punished if you did this? - 12/6/2007 7:37:22 PM   
Sirsinini


Posts: 172
Joined: 11/13/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LaDee

Recently I discovered that My sub has been naughty. I recently discovered that he has a cyber buddy.  When I asked him if he was doing anything that I had NOT allowed he denied everything. I hate a liar! I found the emails & IMs and he was dealt with.


I am sure I would be unowned.
But this is not in my nature, so Sir will never have to deal with this in regards to me. 
 
Sir's truly devoted property

(in reply to LaDee)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: How would you be punished if you did this? - 12/6/2007 8:08:45 PM   
laurell3


Posts: 6577
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline 		I wouldn't be "punished", I would be single and not for the cybering, for the lying as would he be if it was the other way around.

_____________________________

I cannot be defined by moments in my life, but must be considered for by the entirety of my existence.

When you fail to consider that I am the best judge for what is right for me, all of your opinions become suspect to me.

(in reply to Sirsinini)
Profile   Post #: 40
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