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2 slaves one girfriend? - 12/6/2007 8:33:31 PM

AMADF

Posts: 66
Joined: 7/15/2007
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Mhhh i have this kind of debate inside me, maybe can help me.

I knew my boyfriend-slave in barcelona, and he will relocate soon to me. For work issues he had to stay in barcelona a year more than originally planned. In the meantime i knew in my community a young sub wich is a doctor, so i taked him as my sub while my bf arrived.

There was no secrets, my bf knew and he was happy i have somebody to play while he arrived and doctor knew my bf was arriving next year. Iv learn a lot of things with real doctor and he has excellent annal capacity. When I taked him, he was on a real bad shape cause his last mistress-gf was abusing him as a sub, also as gf he reppeateadly cheat him. Take several months to work this out before he could completely enjoy .

When my bf arrived to mexico some months ago to help me moving to our place, doctor get nuts. He said its not my fault, but for a instant get flashback from gf cheatting him (this sensation of theres someone more important, other "men"). I talk to him and explain we were never boyfriends, and he say that he realize that, but felt pretty sad, appearantly he still has deep wond that hasnt been cured.

Bf stayed only couple of weeks but his vacations are over so went back to spain to finish his work contract, but hes arriving in dec to live permanent with me. I dont know if should keep the doctor. He say that i now have my bf and he would like to have a vanilla gf and be free to find a fuck partner, and keept me as his mistress. He is a fantastic boy and fror sure will make his gf happy but part of my inner rules are not establishing former ownership with compromised men. I dont want to be the weekend mistress, and love denial, as a game and as a gift, as a way of showing discipline. This game cannot be done if hes fucking around. I think that if he has a gf his primary attention will be some place else.

Should i keept him and allow to have his gf (i also will have less available time when my bf comes)? should i keept on with my position of not relation with commitment man? or maybe i just thank him and see each other once or then for eventual sessions (for the good times)?

(i dont know what to do, whatever desition i take bf will be happy with it, we have talked about it and he say i can keep dr as long as i dont have sex with him nor interfere in our cuple life. He even agree in having double sesions now and then).

Does anyone have face simmilar situation?

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RE: 2 slaves one girfriend? - 12/6/2007 8:49:12 PM

Jasmyn

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From: New Zealand
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I need something clarified (no judgements) before I can answer or offer any advice fully...are you having sex with the doctor now?

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RE: 2 slaves one girfriend? - 12/6/2007 9:19:18 PM

DiurnalVampire

Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
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My personal 2 cents, to take or leave as you choose.
If he wants to find a vanilla partner, then he is compromised. You will no longer be his priority. You will be the weekend mistress, if you are lucky. That is assuming the vanilla he finds allows him to remain with you. If she does, then you are still second fiddle, if she doesnt, then you either lose him or he cheats to be with you. Either way, its a bad situation.
Unfortunately, since he has already voiced the concern that saying with you alone will not be enough, I think when your boyfriend does come in from Spain, it is time to let the doctor go. Let him be happy, and be happy with your boyfriend. The only thing the drama of trying to keep him on those terms will bring is problems for you and he both, and possibly for your respective relationships. AS much as it might hurt to do so release is probably your best bet.

DV

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RE: 2 slaves one girfriend? - 12/6/2007 9:25:43 PM

AMADF

Posts: 66
Joined: 7/15/2007
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Mhh not vanilla sex like that but we have developed a very intimate relation. He does a wonderfull oral sex service and oftlenly use it fot that, and also he can get a lot of strap-on action. When i got him he missesd so much ex gf that couldn get or sostain an erection at all. Time change that, and now he has wondefull hard one all the time , so i tease him all the time and oftlenly allow him to jerk in my presence while i hit him or do fun stuff. I must addmit we have developed very intimate relation, i have teach him to satisfy me with hand and even dildos, i sometimes ask for that as his only task of the day. He loves so much doing that that sometimes he cums right after that!! I will say that right now he does get ll is sexuall fulfillment while we are togheather.

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RE: 2 slaves one girfriend? - 12/6/2007 9:29:51 PM

Jasmyn

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From: New Zealand
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Thanks :) I have to go out for a bit ...but will comment later ... there are so many things going on here for ya'll ... but I don't think it is necessarily a black or white situation or even compromising yourself or the doc ...as a way of handling it ... back soon

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RE: 2 slaves one girfriend? - 12/6/2007 11:10:13 PM

ItalianSMistress

Posts: 427
Joined: 1/19/2007
From: Niagara Region Ontario Canada
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quote:

ORIGINAL: DiurnalVampire

My personal 2 cents, to take or leave as you choose.
If he wants to find a vanilla partner, then he is compromised. You will no longer be his priority. You will be the weekend mistress, if you are lucky. That is assuming the vanilla he finds allows him to remain with you. If she does, then you are still second fiddle, if she doesnt, then you either lose him or he cheats to be with you. Either way, its a bad situation.
Unfortunately, since he has already voiced the concern that saying with you alone will not be enough, I think when your boyfriend does come in from Spain, it is time to let the doctor go. Let him be happy, and be happy with your boyfriend. The only thing the drama of trying to keep him on those terms will bring is problems for you and he both, and possibly for your respective relationships. AS much as it might hurt to do so release is probably your best bet.

DV

I think that says it all, if he has another partner, he IS compromised, that is just the way it is. You can try and force it for a while, but you will only end up with a bigger messy than if you ended it at the right time.

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RE: 2 slaves one girfriend? - 12/7/2007 9:06:10 AM

AMADF

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Thanks for you answers. I have been thinking the same as ItalianSMistress and DiurnalVampire: that the only way out without hurting anyone is to set him free. Yet its difficult, during this past months he have developed this inner conenction, we have to go very deep into him so he recovers from last gf-mistress.
I never dreamed of having an harem, but now i wish there was a way of keeping both.
Im really inlove with my bf, and in the meantime have used to have doctor around. Difference between love and inlove that read on the posts the other day, really apply on here, iv seen the doctor grow so much in his submission that i just love him.
When taked him i was just jumping a rule of mine: don´t take young subs, but we knew each other from before, so i jumped my own rule and the results were owsome.
But a lot of people are involved now: me, doctor and my bf, and the needs from doctor have change and now he needs a gf, and I need time for my bf, so i guess its time to adjust.
Maybe things were different i have knew doctor after my bf arrive. But maybe the correct desition is to set him free, i dont want to worry abut if slave is following rules or not with gf, or become weekend mistress, specially after this very intense time we shared togeather.
My bf ariives on dec 30, and seems the corect desition is to let him free on 29.
Farewell to beloved orfeo, one of the best slaves i ever had

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RE: 2 slaves one girfriend? - 12/7/2007 9:25:20 AM

Stephann

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Joined: 12/27/2006
From: Portland, OR
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Hi there,

I think it would be hard to use a double standard with the doctor. You know that he will not be happy if he isn't allowed to find his own love. You won't be able to see him often enough for him to be happy, because you will be busy with your new boyfriend. Jealousy will only tear both of you apart.

Let him go, but try to keep friends. Maybe in six months, things will change.

Saludos y buena suerte,

Stephan

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RE: 2 slaves one girfriend? - 12/7/2007 4:12:28 PM

QueenSolitaire

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Joined: 11/11/2007
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If you are interested in keeping him and he is able to live 2 lives, keep them both. Personally, being poly, I have many relationships at once. Each satisfies one or more need/want in my life and I satisify one or more need/want in that partners life. With honesty and open communication, all things are possible if the parties involved have the same goal(s).
My family is large and the relationships complex. There is much overlap between sub-groups (not a reference to submissives here) with regard to interests and emotions. Everyone gets along well because everyone respects everyone else...and all bow to me ;)

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RE: 2 slaves one girfriend? - 12/7/2007 4:22:26 PM

LotusSong

Posts: 6334
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Domme Emeritus
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quote:

ORIGINAL: AMADF

When my bf arrived to mexico some months ago to help me moving to our place, doctor get nuts. He said its not my fault, but for a instant get flashback from gf cheatting him (this sensation of theres someone more important, other "men"). I talk to him and explain we were never boyfriends, and he say that he realize that, but felt pretty sad, appearantly he still has deep wond that hasnt been cured.

Let him go. Too much emotional baggage.

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RE: 2 slaves one girfriend? - 12/7/2007 4:52:36 PM

beltainefaerie

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I think you should probably let him go. Stephan makes a good point about remaining friends. Clearly you havea connection. Perhaps it will work out for you to play occasionally, but perhaps not. A lot depends on what your life is like when your bf arrives and what his gf is like, if he finds one soon. Definitely do not even consider trying to continue a relationship with him if the new gf doesn't know and accept this. It could also be possible that he will find a mistress without another bf that he could serve and have a relationship with, which might be very fulfilling for him. If he isn't free, that won't happen.

Good luck!.

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RE: 2 slaves one girfriend? - 12/8/2007 5:54:09 PM

AMADF

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Thanks again for your anwer to all. I really appreciate your points of view, feels very nice having someone to talk about this issues. I was feeling very sad an lonely cause i havent been able to talk much about this issues.

I would love to be polyamorous, but i dont know how. My inner voice was saying "let him go" but sometimes other part of you refusses to do things that you know are gonna hurt. Thanks for reminding me that at the end nor him nor me nor my bf will be happy if i mess up in this. This shouldnt be about posesson but about every ones wellness. Incredible, real love, even in bdsm, sometimes means doing the things that hurt the most.
Thanks again to all from the bottom of my heart. And yes i think will keep him as a friend.

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RE: 2 slaves one girfriend? - 12/8/2007 6:22:26 PM

TheInstrument

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Joined: 9/8/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: AMADF

I would love to be polyamorous, but i dont know how.

I'm sure there was a time you wanted to become an experienced, well travelled, intelligent Domme but didn't know how either. Yet here you are. You are absolutely right that noone will be happy if you mess this up, but doesn't that even apply to regular vanilla relationships? The fact that you realize this, and that you care for everyone's well being is why I think you should go for polyamory. You seem like the resourceful type and you've made it this far without exactly adhering to the status quo or what's considered "normal". Why stop now?

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