This really pisses me off! (Full Version)

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RedMagic1 -> This really pisses me off! (12/9/2007 6:25:02 PM)

http://www.myspankingforum.com/showthread.php?t=936

Veronica Daniels is Veronica of The Spanking Couple.  I know one of the models they employed, and she (the model) had nothing but great things to say about their professionality and care.  Damn.

If you can't afford to be "out," well, you can't.  But if you *can*, then consider telling your friends/family in a simple, no-nonsense way.  Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays is now a powerful organization, and ain't no reason people who happen to be straight but kinky should be under a 19th Century cloud of suspicion and fear.

This really pisses me off.




crouchingtigress -> RE: This really pisses me off! (12/9/2007 6:29:42 PM)

i am sorry this happened to her
.
my x outed me to my perants, and it was very painful for them for no reason.

i wish her the best of luck.




ItalianSMistress -> RE: This really pisses me off! (12/9/2007 6:43:56 PM)

I have no idea who that girl is or anything, but just from reading that one blog, I am disgusted.  People really need to have something better to do with their time.  And I am certain that CPS has many more pressing things to investegate than what anyone is doing in their bedrooms, without their children.




angelslave77 -> RE: This really pisses me off! (12/9/2007 6:47:55 PM)

this has been a fear of mine and reading that prompted me to take my pic down, I am not ashamed of who I am and most of my friends know and I think my parents have an inkling also. I doubt my ex would care but he is a puppet to his parents who would try to take my um's away if they knew




DarkDaddyZ -> RE: This really pisses me off! (12/9/2007 7:24:52 PM)

While sometimes we live in fear regarding our lifestyle with being outed if we aren't out on our own, unless there is illegal activity going on it's highly unlikely that CPS would get involved.

Dark Blessings,
Z-

edited for content.




carlie310 -> RE: This really pisses me off! (12/9/2007 7:32:07 PM)

DarkDaddy, I must disagree.  CPS operates under a different set of rules, completely outside the Constitution.  All it takes is a phone call, and that starts an investigation that can last for years, scarring the children that the agency is supposed to protect.  States get federal money for every child in foster care, so they have incentive to take the kids. 

Don't take my word for it, but do research in your own state.  It won't take much of a google search to turn up some incredible story about people fighting for their kids because they are poor, had an argument with the school or doctor, or a neighbor.  It's horrific.




LadyLynx -> RE: This really pisses me off! (12/9/2007 7:33:18 PM)

Italian Mistress, I wish that were true, but depending on how it (the lifestyle) is portrayed, it could come out very bad for that parent.  It also depends on where you live, and what charges exactly are involved.  I hope that the person who spilled the beans isn't a friend of Veronica's,  that is a horrible betrayal.




DarkDaddyZ -> RE: This really pisses me off! (12/9/2007 7:43:46 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: carlie310

DarkDaddy, I must disagree.  CPS operates under a different set of rules, completely outside the Constitution.  All it takes is a phone call, and that starts an investigation that can last for years, scarring the children that the agency is supposed to protect.  States get federal money for every child in foster care, so they have incentive to take the kids. 

Don't take my word for it, but do research in your own state.  It won't take much of a google search to turn up some incredible story about people fighting for their kids because they are poor, had an argument with the school or doctor, or a neighbor.  It's horrific.


CPS has to follow up, I agree with that but that can happy to anyone who is reported of neglect or abuse to children not just those into alternative lifestyles.

To clarify, if they are called based on her lifestyle and her lifestyle isn't interfering with the way she is raising her child then they wouldn't have much of a case.

Z-




chellekitty -> RE: This really pisses me off! (12/9/2007 7:52:05 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: carlie310

DarkDaddy, I must disagree.  CPS operates under a different set of rules, completely outside the Constitution.  All it takes is a phone call, and that starts an investigation that can last for years, scarring the children that the agency is supposed to protect.  States get federal money for every child in foster care, so they have incentive to take the kids. 

Don't take my word for it, but do research in your own state.  It won't take much of a google search to turn up some incredible story about people fighting for their kids because they are poor, had an argument with the school or doctor, or a neighbor.  It's horrific.



allegations made to CPS have to have some basis in reality, if you do not have any history with CPS or any other legal system, it is highly unlikely that one phone call will get you tied up in an invesitgation that lasts for years unless your children are actually in danger due to neglect or abuse...

not meaning to offend anyone who may be reading this with the truth, but in most cases child protective services does not take children away, parents give their children away through the things they do....CPS gives the parents a chance to clean their side of the street up so it is safe for the children to be there again....

chelle




BloodLuna -> RE: This really pisses me off! (12/9/2007 8:14:25 PM)

luna's ex actually made a false report to CPS a few months ago and an investigator knocked on her door at 8pm.  Some of the questions they asked luna included "does your "boyfriend" walk around the house naked in front of the child" and "did your boyfriend say he would kill your um if she doesn't go to college"  it doesn't matter what dumb A** stuff someone accuses you of, they still come out and ask questions.  In IL if there are acusations of physical or sexual abuse they make the poor child strip for photos.  It made luna terrified to talk about her lifestyle for weeks and she pulled all her photos and profiles that showed her face immediately. she HATES living in fear and feels like her giving her ex control over her even though its been over for years-but what else can she do? 
 
the fact that anyone - the govt, family, exes, anyone - can successfully control someone's life and sexual preferences through fear and threat shows the sad state of affairs in our country.  luna feels strongly for this lady and anyone else going through this!!!
 
luna




laurell3 -> RE: This really pisses me off! (12/9/2007 8:14:33 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: carlie310

DarkDaddy, I must disagree.  CPS operates under a different set of rules, completely outside the Constitution.  All it takes is a phone call, and that starts an investigation that can last for years, scarring the children that the agency is supposed to protect.  States get federal money for every child in foster care, so they have incentive to take the kids. 

Don't take my word for it, but do research in your own state.  It won't take much of a google search to turn up some incredible story about people fighting for their kids because they are poor, had an argument with the school or doctor, or a neighbor.  It's horrific.



Internet research for horror stories is rarely a valid source to make a generalization about anything.  Child abuse reporting and investigation is mandatory in most states.  It includes almost all professionals, schools, providers, etc.  CPS will investigate every call whether that means going to the home, calling her, checking for law enforcement contacts, talking to the kids/school/daycare or offerring voluntary services really depends on the circumstances.  Removal is not done by cps.  It is initiated by cps but done by the Court and requires a finding that the children are at risk for harm or experiencing real harm/neglect. 

While it is true that states get federal money for families in the system, it's not just in foster care, it's voluntary services, children placed at home with services, children in foster care, group homes, correctional centers, etc. and the system is overwhelmed by the amount of cases and reports they have to work on.  They are not actively looking for people to persecute on their own.  However, any system can go wrong, I sure there are true horror cases and sometimes foster care can be worse than the situation the children were removed from.  The system is far from perfect, however, it's a mischaracterization to say that the majority of the cases are unfounded or some type of consipracy or unfounded removal.




chellekitty -> RE: This really pisses me off! (12/9/2007 8:22:51 PM)

i'd rather have them investigate one false alligation of sexual abuse than ignore one true alligation of sexual abuse...i'm sorry what happened to you luna, but be glad that the alligations were not true....




cautiousiasub -> RE: This really pisses me off! (12/9/2007 8:39:04 PM)

I agree with you chelle. In the case of separation, divorce, or custody issues, CPS is often used as a threat or as a ploy to gain custody by proving the other parent "unfit." I've seen this happen to friends, and had an ex who did it to me. They are required to investigate any reports they receive. Social workers are much like police officers...if you appear intimidated, nervous, or automatically become defensive, they are going to wonder why. However, for the most part, if the children are being well taken care of and are not in a harmful environment, the investigation is very short-lived.

In a situation where parental skills are poor for whatever reason, CPS usually gives the parents many chances and many opportunities to straighten up their act. The only time the children would be removed right away is if there was serious concern about their immediate welfare. I would love to be able to say with full confidence that they wouldn't hold our lifestyle choices against us, but I think it depends on so many different factors. I seriously doubt that they would remove the child right away.




carlie310 -> RE: This really pisses me off! (12/9/2007 8:44:54 PM)

That was my perception and belief as well, until some friends of mine got tangled in the system. Their own policies were violated more often than they were upheld, and I've found that to be true in most cases I can find. There is a presumption of guilt, and the Constitution is ignored. But, again, don't take my word for it. Research independently.




allcatsaregrey -> RE: This really pisses me off! (12/9/2007 9:02:04 PM)

That is truly saddening to hear, and I can't even begin to comprehend the feelings she must be experiencing.

It is absolutely outrageous that someone would "out" her, and that her ex husband would be so outraged about her activities as to insist she remove herself from the internet all together. I know that this argument has exisited since the beginning of time, but it bears repeating: Consenting adults enjoying themselves in an unconventional way is nothing to be afraid of!

Hopefully, CPS has more pressing cases to look into - it's common knowledge that there are far worse, abusive, or dangerous situations for children to be involved in besides mom having some kinky fun in her private time.

* Sighs heavily *




MissMorrigan -> RE: This really pisses me off! (12/10/2007 6:16:37 AM)

How right you are, Carlie. The CPS are a government based body, but they seem to act independently and have the right to investigate child abuse, and remove the child, should they feel the evidence they are in possession of warrants it. I doubt the CPS in the US operates much differently than its cousin in the UK. Some years ago a couple of social workers acted on information provided by concerned members of the public wherein they believed children were being used in satanic rituals. The investigation involved the removal of several children (if I have my facts correct) within a town and years later, after many legal suits, it was discovered the social workers had acted with little factual knowledge, tearing apart the nucleus of several families. The damage had already been done and once it is, cannot be overturned. I personally think social services have too much power and while, on the whole, they do a good job, there are serious miscarriages of justice.  

quote:

ORIGINAL: carlie310
DarkDaddy, I must disagree.  CPS operates under a different set of rules, completely outside the Constitution.  All it takes is a phone call, and that starts an investigation that can last for years, scarring the children that the agency is supposed to protect.  States get federal money for every child in foster care, so they have incentive to take the kids. 

Don't take my word for it, but do research in your own state.  It won't take much of a google search to turn up some incredible story about people fighting for their kids because they are poor, had an argument with the school or doctor, or a neighbor.  It's horrific.




Gardenista -> RE: This really pisses me off! (12/10/2007 6:55:09 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: laurell3

Internet research for horror stories is rarely a valid source to make a generalization about anything.  Child abuse reporting and investigation is mandatory in most states.  It includes almost all professionals, schools, providers, etc.  CPS will investigate every call whether that means going to the home, calling her, checking for law enforcement contacts, talking to the kids/school/daycare or offerring voluntary services really depends on the circumstances.  Removal is not done by cps.  It is initiated by cps but done by the Court and requires a finding that the children are at risk for harm or experiencing real harm/neglect. 

While it is true that states get federal money for families in the system, it's not just in foster care, it's voluntary services, children placed at home with services, children in foster care, group homes, correctional centers, etc. and the system is overwhelmed by the amount of cases and reports they have to work on.  They are not actively looking for people to persecute on their own.  However, any system can go wrong, I sure there are true horror cases and sometimes foster care can be worse than the situation the children were removed from.  The system is far from perfect, however, it's a mischaracterization to say that the majority of the cases are unfounded or some type of consipracy or unfounded removal.



You are correct. The bare minimum requirement for one single allegation is a visit to the home. It's harder then most people think to have a child removed. There are actually more cases of children staying in unsafe situations or being returned to abusive homes then kids being taken because of a false accusation.




ghitaPVH -> RE: This really pisses me off! (12/10/2007 7:09:40 AM)

I was reported to CPS once, when my 8yo UM wasnt even a year old yet. It wasnt for alternitive lifestyle stuff, but CPS came out, first to my place of work, then made a surprise visit to my daycare lady's house, then showed up at my house. There were ALOT of accusations. Mainly that it was winter and I had no heat or hot water, I handed the baby off to absolutly anyone who would watch him while I went out, and he had severe medical issues that I had allowed to go untreated for way too long. And well, I guess from the outside looking in, it may have looked tht way...but it pisses me off that my cousin (yea, the person who was supposed to be my only family and friend in a strange town) would turn me in like that without coming to me first for clarification. Anyway, after a very compleate investigation, they marked the case as unfounded and apologized for my trouble. Then filed a suit against my landlord for not fixing the heat and hot water issue.

BUT...that case will always be in my records...so if anyone else ever decided to file another case...the first thing they are gonna notice is that Im already on their records, and the CPS guy warned me that they take those things into consideration. Get enough reports, even unfounded reports, and they err on the side of caution and remove UMs anyway. Fuckers.




velvetears -> RE: This really pisses me off! (12/10/2007 7:31:20 AM)

Maybe it varies by state ghita but i was told (am in NY) that if a case is unfounded it stays in a dead file for 6 months then is purged.   i had an altercation with my sister last year and she called CPS and they came to my home as well as my daughter's school.  i knew right away who called and was upfront with them and explained the situation with my sister (she's very vengeful and unbalanced, and a 30 yr active alcoholic).  A CPS report could seriously hinder my ability to work in my profession and she assured me that when she came back (they have to follow up) it would be reported unfounded and i didn't have to worry.  CPS knows people call to screw around with others, it's an occupational hazard. The morons who use the system to hurt and threaten others are protected, this is one of the only ways you can attack someone while being a coward because your identity is protected. If it didn't work that way people would be hesitant to report, so you have to put up with the shit to make sure um's are safe. 

The idea that social workers are lurking in wait to snatch kids from homes is ridiculous.  First of all it's very difficult to remove a child, they have to go through a process, courts, exams etc.  They don't just go in and make a judgement call and take them - unless of course there is real obvious abuse... that's the whole point.   




DeviantMasteruk -> RE: This really pisses me off! (12/10/2007 7:40:02 AM)

My former sub accidentally  outed me to my parents a couple years ago, long and kinda funny story, But they actually took it very well.




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