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I hope this fits here.... - 12/10/2007 1:00:09 PM

KarenElizabeth

Posts: 22
Joined: 11/9/2007
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I am starting this topic to get tips and ideas for personal safety in meeting new prospective slaves or submissives...

I understand it is potentially dangerous and the last thing I need is to be tied up and raped or chopped up and taken out with the morning trash.

Aside from tangible things like mace,(other suggestions for that would be helpful too as I currently don't have any mace)
What steps would be appropriate, i.e. finding out certain information about an individual and what kind of information would be the best to obtain for precautionary measures?

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RE: I hope this fits here.... - 12/10/2007 1:18:41 PM

sub4hire

Posts: 6775
Joined: 1/1/2004
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Do you feel safe meeting them?
Do they have references and have you checked them out?
Do they attend any events in the local community?
Do their stories mesh all together without changing from time to time?
If they are into something you are, does it sound like they have actually tried it in the past?

The list could conceivably go on and on. Common sense works wonders, although so many seem to be lacking all common sense in today's society.

(in reply to KarenElizabeth)

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RE: I hope this fits here.... - 12/10/2007 1:57:07 PM

Sabella

Posts: 265
Joined: 7/26/2005
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Use common sense. Meet in a public place. Take a kung fu class if you're afraid of getting attacked. Most weapons are used against the person who took them, or that's what I read somewhere. Whether it's true or not I don't know but you can't have a drink or dinner with a can of mace in one hand & a gun in the other can you?

My best advice would be take the time to get to know them on the phone and in person before meeting to play. But I think you're talking about the FIRST in-person meeting?

_____________________________

“The giant Grof was hit in one eye by a stone,
and that eye turned inward so that it looked into his mind and he died of what he saw there.”
From The Forgotten Beasts of Eld, by Patricia A. McKillip

(in reply to sub4hire)

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RE: I hope this fits here.... - 12/10/2007 7:00:37 PM

CliarSiofra

Posts: 34
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: ask
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i like meeting at group functions, saftey in numbers. I don't know anyone who would really mind that if they are good people. Local Munches, Clubs, even workshops. plenty of public and fun activities too.

_____________________________

The tragic comedy divine,
Paints the way to peace of mind.
Leaving shallow lovers far behind.
Past uncertainties combine.
Bringing tears to sleepless eyes.
Memory runs the course of time.~The Birthday Massacre

(in reply to Sabella)

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RE: I hope this fits here.... - 12/12/2007 12:56:56 AM

KarenElizabeth

Posts: 22
Joined: 11/9/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Sabella
Most weapons are used against the person who took them, or that's what I read somewhere.

Yes, I heard and thought that too. I wouldn't want to physically harm someone. I have stabbed somebody in the past (just in the shin) but it wasn't because they were going to hurt me, I was about 17, it was a "friend" and they "fucked with me" one too many times. I have a tendency to ramble sometimes...

Well, I have met one person from this site so far. It was a brief meeting and beforehand I had their full name, their address and two telephone numbers.
Of course some people are sincere, but this world is so jacked and sad you never know and I don't want to be the next victim.
I haven't tried to cover my naivety with smoke and mirrors. I am a very honest and upfront person. I make no qualms about my inexperience and unwillingness to do many things.
On Friday I will bring a friend along out to dinner with this submissive I met the other week so that I am more comfortable. I also feel it is easier and more fun for me to fit in my role if another lovely female is at my side. I imagine some of you think that fact alone negates me from being a "real" Domme, but like someone else said, one person didn't make up this game. Oh yes that is how I currently view it and probably always will. It's a collaberative effort and anyone who plays gets to make up the rules. Anyways, most of life is a game that we all play because we have no other option aside from quitting and offing ourselves. This is my choice; I just don't want to be made a fool of.

In the next day I have another choice to make. I have been given a proposition about a week ago for a foot worshiping session by someone who is going to be in town for business(Supposedly they work for this Fortune 50 company that is based here). I have never experienced that before and it may be premature, but I am game. We have discussed it and he is aware that I won't be getting him off, even with my pinky toes. I am just not that kind of girl. he is fine with that. Problem is, the man is in his forties, married and holds a corporate position he fears may be jeopardized by giving out information I requested for my own security. Things shouldn't be more complicated than they need to be, he has a point in that, but how much information is too much and how much is too little? Now he is skeptical and issues like that can not easily be cleared up online by two parties who have never met in real life.
I don't know his last name. Should I? I can't check if he really does work for the company he claims to, but I don't have a good reason to not believe him. I outright told him I wanted to leave the hotel room number with someone I know and now he's afraid I'm going to have some guy knocking on his door and jump him or something.
The only evidence I have is that the first day we talked he showed me the myspace page of a foot model he has worshiped. She had tons of pictures, ranging from flip flops to bondaged feet to her lying amidst her shoes spread around her on the floor. It was suggested I could contact her and ask her about him if I liked, but I wasn't thinking it would be necessary at that time.
It is a 4 Star Hotel that he is staying at, one of if not the most upscale hotels in this city.
I don't want to feel dumb for not taking advantage of this opportunity. The experience could be very helpful, but I'm actually considering it for the money. I am unemployed right now and Christmas is right around the corner. If you think my interest in the money is a very bad thing but you have an opinion otherwise, just ignore that fact and tell me what you think. I am welcoming feedback and suggestions. Haha thanks for taking the time to read this.

(in reply to Sabella)

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RE: I hope this fits here.... - 12/13/2007 1:52:51 PM

KarenElizabeth

Posts: 22
Joined: 11/9/2007
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Thanks for wishing me well and hoping that I don't get maimed or killed ;)
Everything went well. I should've trusted my first instincts and not worried listening to people I already deemed dumb in the first place!

(in reply to KarenElizabeth)

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RE: I hope this fits here.... - 12/14/2007 5:46:04 AM

Sabella

Posts: 265
Joined: 7/26/2005
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Did you have any thoughts during or afterwards of things you may want to do in the future to help you in having a safe meeting?

_____________________________

“The giant Grof was hit in one eye by a stone,
and that eye turned inward so that it looked into his mind and he died of what he saw there.”
From The Forgotten Beasts of Eld, by Patricia A. McKillip

(in reply to KarenElizabeth)

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RE: I hope this fits here.... - 12/14/2007 4:32:41 PM

KarenElizabeth

Posts: 22
Joined: 11/9/2007
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The main thing I surmised was to not make such a big deal out of it.
This guy was more just a married man with a foot fetish than an actual submissive or slave. he was a total gentleman and it was more of a casual encounter of drinking and conversing; the actual "foot worshiping" (which to my satisfaction consisted solely of him massaging, licking and sucking on them) took place for about 15 minutes.

When it comes to meeting actual subs/slaves though, I do plan to have a female friend along. It's proving to be difficult though, a couple friends I enlisted had second thoughts so I'm still searching...

Lol so In conclusion, talking with them beforehand is important and basically just not making a mountain out of a molehill.. I have issues with anxiety and tend to overanalyze so it's probably important for me to just trust my first instincts.

(in reply to Sabella)

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