RE: Masters checking Slaves/Subs emails? Insecurity or Inexperienced?

RE: Masters checking Slaves/Subs emails? Insecurity or Inexperienced? (Full Version)

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion

Message

meticulousgirl -> RE: Masters checking Slaves/Subs emails? Insecurity or Inexperienced? (12/11/2007 11:22:30 AM)
my Owner checks mine frequently #1 to remind me of my place, and to remember to think before I open my mouth or start typing #2 it's a way to get in our minds and humble us, to read us, to know what we are up to, and to know what we are thinking.... i use to think it was about more than that but, with my Owner at least it's not..... ~meticulous~

marieToo -> RE: Masters checking Slaves/Subs emails? Insecurity or Inexperienced? (12/11/2007 11:39:29 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: TheEnglishDom Question.... 'having to check email's of your submissive or slave'. Is this a sign of insecurity or just inexperience? What happened to trust and communication? A major part of any D/s relationship. If a good master/dominant has the 'controlling' role in a relationship then why is it necessary to have to review, or ‘spy’ on someone’s email or conversations? I don't think it neccessarily has to be one or the other; insecurity or inexperience. Nor is it always about trust, or feeling the need to 'spy' on the submissive. For some it's about the idea that things aren't kept hidden or secret. It's not really about reading the content of the emails, but more about what the act represents. To throw another viewpoint into the mix--I love having my account looked at and my emails read. It makes me feel like he is occupying a corner of my privacy, and even though there is nothing steamy in my mailbox, and I don't have any secrets to hide, it feels very intimate to me when I know he's been there.

kimba1 -> RE: Masters checking Slaves/Subs emails? Insecurity or Inexperienced? (12/11/2007 11:53:17 AM)
I have to agree with marieToo (and others). I love knowing that my Master can read all of my messages if he wishes (and i often write hoping he will read my words). It is part of the control that he has over me, part of the protection that i am privileged to enjoy by belonging to Him. He takes care of most of the butthead emails i get as well, and i revel in the knowledge that he is always watching over me. In terms of communication with other subs, he likes to watch me play, and i like to play knowing he is watching. Our joint profile and journals make it clear that we both have access to both accounts, and it is all out in the open -- no 'spying' here! It works for us perfectly, smiles, and he is anything but insecure or inexperienced ... smiles ...

spanklette -> RE: Masters checking Slaves/Subs emails? Insecurity or Inexperienced? (12/11/2007 12:17:12 PM)
I wonder what it means if I have all of His passwords...[:D]

childoftheshadow -> RE: Masters checking Slaves/Subs emails? Insecurity or Inexperienced? (12/11/2007 12:26:44 PM)
I've not read this whole thing, but my two cents worth . . . My parter has the passwords to all of my online "things", from email to online banking. I also have all of his passwords. It has nothing to do with being insecure, I think it shows trust. I trust him with all of mine, and he trusts me.

kyraofMists -> RE: Masters checking Slaves/Subs emails? Insecurity or Inexperienced? (12/11/2007 12:34:33 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: spanklette I wonder what it means if I have all of His passwords...[:D] LOL I was wondering the same thing. I have his and Alandra's passwords and they have mine. She and I will check his email when he tells us to and he will check ours whenever he wants. Mostly he just has me read them to him and he is more interested in what I am saying than what others say to me. edited to add... It really isn't so much about trust for us, I just don't need a boundary between either of them regarding interactions I have with others. Knight's Kyra

daddysliloneds -> RE: Masters checking Slaves/Subs emails? Insecurity or Inexperienced? (12/11/2007 12:37:07 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: TheEnglishDom Question.... 'having to check email's of your submissive or slave'. Is this a sign of insecurity or just inexperience? either or neither is my final answer, ha, ha, ha... i always felt it was a sure sign of someone that had waaaaaaayyyyyy too much time on their hands![:)]

NorthernGent -> RE: Masters checking Slaves/Subs emails? Insecurity or Inexperienced? (12/11/2007 12:40:16 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: TheEnglishDom I am sure this one will cause controversy. Question.... 'having to check email's of your submissive or slave'. Is this a sign of insecurity or just inexperience? What happened to trust and communication? A major part of any D/s relationship. If a good master/dominant has the 'controlling' role in a relationship then why is it necessary to have to review, or ‘spy’ on someone’s email or conversations? I suppose it depends why you're checking. If it's a product of insecurity, then there's a problem that the checker needs to address; if it's to understand how she conducts herself, then I don't see a problem - with the exception of consent. On balance, I don't, nor can't imagine a time when I would, check anyone's e-mail. To me, that's wasted energy......I prefer talking when I'm getting to know someone - body language etc.

spanklette -> RE: Masters checking Slaves/Subs emails? Insecurity or Inexperienced? (12/11/2007 12:42:39 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: kyraofMists quote: ORIGINAL: spanklette I wonder what it means if I have all of His passwords...[:D] LOL I was wondering the same thing. I have his and Alandra's passwords and they have mine. She and I will check his email when he tells us to and he will check ours whenever he wants. Mostly he just has me read them to him and he is more interested in what I am saying than what others say to me. Knight's Kyra You know, on the surface it seems less submissive, but it's actually more work than Him reading my e-mails. I wish He would subscribe to the same organizational philosophy that has Him doing all of the "super secret password" stuff...it would free up a good chunk of my time. [8D] He has all of my passwords, but if He is trying to get into something of mine it usually results in a phone call. Since we've combined most of our accounts it's gotten easier over time, though. It's really more a matter of common sense for us than it is some form of submission.

IrishMist -> RE: Masters checking Slaves/Subs emails? Insecurity or Inexperienced? (12/11/2007 1:37:28 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: KatyLied Some dominants do this for their amusement (you should see some of the emails submissives get, it can be pretty funny and ridiculous), some as a way of exerting authority. And yes, some because they are insecure. Why do you care if they agree to it, it's no big deal. Yep. I have to agree with Katy here; right down to the 'why do you care'

juliaoceania -> RE: Masters checking Slaves/Subs emails? Insecurity or Inexperienced? (12/11/2007 1:43:50 PM)
quote: Seriously- he will check for me and report if I have anythng (almost never of interest) and sometimes write back (if I dictate a reply). I often will ask Daddy how I should respond to certain emails, and he dictates replies. I think that is another reason why a dominant would check out emails, my Daddy feels how I respond to emails from those of a dominant persuasion reflects on him... and I do reply the way he sees fit.. there are standard responses to certain sorts of emails that I receive. Edited to add that if it was not for him I would say some pretty sarcastic and nasty things to some of the doms that have emailed me...He does not think it is seemly for me to respond to wankers at all, other than to reiterate what is written in my profile

sweetnurseBBW -> RE: Masters checking Slaves/Subs emails? Insecurity or Inexperienced? (12/11/2007 1:47:22 PM)
Well on cm I have my profile deactivated because I want to. If I have mail here or on other sites he is welcome to read it. He has never asked for my passwords but I would not hesitate to give them to him. He knows that and the same goes for him.

Mercnbeth -> RE: Masters checking Slaves/Subs emails? Insecurity or Inexperienced? (12/11/2007 1:56:09 PM)
Another benefit of a couple's profile! Now going into beth's 'private' mail reminds me of going into my kid's bedrooms - its so messy I prefer to keep the door closed. she does forward me some of the more 'interesting' requests. However, no matter how many times I respond in the positive and say that we'd LOVE someone to turn over all their assets and come to live in our crawl space as beth's slave, providing butler or "sissy maid" services, and/or manicurist, gourmet chef, chauffeur, masseuse, boot licking, gardener, and toilet, services; they never show!

KnightofMists -> RE: Masters checking Slaves/Subs emails? Insecurity or Inexperienced? (12/11/2007 3:09:55 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: TheEnglishDom I see nothing wrong with having fun and sharing the crazy email that come in from the masses of deranged dom's out there. They can prove to be very entertaining yes. (Good book idea - Publishing’s of email from the mentally disturbed). Now 'to ward off' those dom's and masters that do not take 'taken/collared/not available' is also understandable, but again should the submissive/slave not do this themselves? Is there a fear that if he/she receives and email that the submissive/slave may see that the grass may be greener on the other side? But this is not going to be just in email, it's life. Does one lock the slave/submissive in a box under the bed to prevent this? Hmmmm that can be fun if done right but I am sure half of the population missing would be a sure sign of something is not right. There are MANY reasons for the 'checking' up, but are they really justified? Cheating partner.... hmmmm maybe? Seems you have the one true way! Maybe you can enlighten the rest of us!

grlneedstolearn -> RE: Masters checking Slaves/Subs emails? Insecurity or Inexperienced? (12/11/2007 3:54:50 PM)
My Dom won't check my email, but will on occassion check my ims for whatever reason

justheather -> RE: Masters checking Slaves/Subs emails? Insecurity or Inexperienced? (12/11/2007 4:07:29 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: TheEnglishDom Question.... 'having to check email's of your submissive or slave'. Is this a sign of insecurity or just inexperience? Question: Who says they have to just because they do? Things like "feels the need to", "must", "has to", "finds it necessary to" get thrown around here all the time when people are talking about a particular behavior of others that they wish to frame as insecure, wrong, bad, ill-intended, insert-negative-here. What happened to the idea that people sometimes do things just because they want to do them? What I dont get is the people who feel the need to point out things they dont like about the way other people interact in their adult relationships. Are these people insecure? Dull-witted? Lonely? Overweight? Boring? Socially awkward? Suffering from ingrown hairs? What?

Maya2001 -> RE: Masters checking Slaves/Subs emails? Insecurity or Inexperienced? (12/11/2007 4:17:11 PM)
I guess I will expand on my prior info, if my dom want to view my emails relating to CM or my ALT accounts only , I would have no real problems with sharing that because it relates to him but my private email accounts that I use for friends, family or business I do have a strong objections to , when it comes to business I owe my customers confidentiality, same goes with any members of my family, friends or charitable organizations that I deal with , it is one thing for me to give up my privacy but quite another when I am consenting to share the privacy of info from others who are not involved in my BDSM activities who have not given consent to have their conversations monitored or viewed by a 3rd party. To me I would find it offensive to be told by a dom that I must share my childs private conversations with me. I would hate to ever lose my sons trust/respect to be able to discuss private matters freely with me because he finds out I have let someone read

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Masters checking Slaves/Subs emails? Insecurity or Inexperienced? (12/11/2007 5:01:53 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: TheEnglishDom I am sure this one will cause controversy. Question.... 'having to check email's of your submissive or slave'. Is this a sign of insecurity or just inexperience? What happened to trust and communication? A major part of any D/s relationship. If a good master/dominant has the 'controlling' role in a relationship then why is it necessary to have to review, or ‘spy’ on someone’s email or conversations? Depends on what you mean. I've had to check my partners email for an invitation I needed to RSVP us for, or to get a friends email address, or because he called on the phone and needed me to check something for him. HAVING to check their email as in "I cannot trust them simply to tell me what I want to know" is a sign of insecurity. But requiring access to all communications can simply be practical and prudent- I'd need it for any partner I lived with in case of an emergency and the same for them. And serious, my partner and I get so many emails a day, checking all of them would mean cutting back on way too much tv time :)

juliaoceania -> RE: Masters checking Slaves/Subs emails? Insecurity or Inexperienced? (12/11/2007 5:11:25 PM)
quote: What I dont get is the people who feel the need to point out things they dont like about the way other people interact in their adult relationships. Are these people insecure? Dull-witted? Lonely? Overweight? Boring? Socially awkward? Suffering from ingrown hairs? What? Perhaps there is a projection of sorts going on here,... the people who think that something is a sign of insecurity are actually just insecure about the way they do things?

NightWindWhisper -> RE: Masters checking Slaves/Subs emails? Insecurity or Inexperienced? (12/11/2007 5:12:33 PM)
"Having" to check one's subbie's mail could be insecurity. Another word for insecurity could be suspicion, or the need to control gasp In a relationship my email accounts and passwords are always available to my submissive--I have nothing to hide. There was a time when I had such an arangement, and really didn't pay attention to her email. Had I--I would have realized that our relationship as I understood it had long ceased to exist--my bad! How many here have never had a relationship where one was dishonest to the other? How many people here have been surprised to find that a person has been dishonest or unfaithful -- possibly for quite a while? If it's not working--talk it over, and respectfully part if necessary. My submissive has no right to privacy--but within that agreement is the tacit understanding that to her--neither do I. Gee--maybe I'm just an insecure guy...I'll have to ponder that.....

Page: << < prev 1 2 [3] 4 5 next > >>

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.046875