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Good explanation about difference sub versus bottom? - 12/12/2007 11:28:05 AM

GoddessTeaze

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who has a site for Me? or in here..?

Thank Yyou so much.

GoddezzT`

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RE: Good explanation about difference sub versus bottom? - 12/12/2007 12:48:54 PM

RCdc

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Bottom is what you do.
Submissive is what you are.

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RE: Good explanation about difference sub versus bottom? - 12/12/2007 1:09:58 PM

SunNMoon

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I’ll try to define them the way I see it. Submission is more of a physiological state (more mental I guess) while bottoming is receiving the action (ie being tied up). Also another way that I look at it is that submission is part of a power/authority exchange while bottoming doesn’t have to deal with any kind of power exchange.

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RE: Good explanation about difference sub versus bottom? - 12/12/2007 8:16:51 PM

MasterFireMaam

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In my world:

Top/bottom = physical things we do
Dom/sub = mental aspects like control
Master/slave = spiritual connection like student/Teacher

They can be matched up in 6 different combinations. Some combinations are more popular than others.

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RE: Good explanation about difference sub versus bottom? - 12/12/2007 11:44:41 PM

GoddessTeaze

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Thank Yyou Aall Kindly!
have a goodday

GoddezzT`

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RE: Good explanation about difference sub versus bottom? - 12/14/2007 11:04:19 PM

NaiveTempest

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I never really though about the difference between being a bottom or a sub so this was enlightening for me. Thanks for the post GoddessT!

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RE: Good explanation about difference sub versus bottom? - 12/22/2007 7:43:37 PM

spicybrains

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Here's how I think about it:

When I make an arrangement to participate in bondage and discipline with someone without submitting to their will, that's bottoming.

When I consent to follow someone else's orders and accept their control over me, that's submission.

I could bottom with the same person every day and not submit to them. I could submit to someone for 30 minutes and never see them again. It would probably be of poor quality, but it's a difference in kind, not in degree.

I wouldn't say that I never submit. However, I am *extremely* selective about the circumstances under which I will do so, and have never submitted to someone on a long-term basis. So I say that I bottom. Except when I switch. Which is frequently *WG*

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RE: Good explanation about difference sub versus bottom? - 12/24/2007 5:01:21 PM

DesFIP

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If I went to a public play venue and saw someone doing florentine flogging and said "ooh, that looks awesome, could you try that on me?" that would be bottoming. I wouldn't be submitting to his choice of what to do, I wouldn't be giving him any control. I would have negotiated for exactly what I was interested in, and specified nothing more.

Submitting involves the emotions. It involves wanting to do things for him, wanting him to make decisions, wanting him to be pleased by my actions.

The intent makes the difference.

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RE: Good explanation about difference sub versus bottom? - 1/7/2008 11:08:53 PM

GoddessTeaze

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quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

If I went to a public play venue and saw someone doing florentine flogging and said "ooh, that looks awesome, could you try that on me?" that would be bottoming. I wouldn't be submitting to his choice of what to do, I wouldn't be giving him any control. I would have negotiated for exactly what I was interested in, and specified nothing more.

Submitting involves the emotions. It involves wanting to do things for him, wanting him to make decisions, wanting him to be pleased by my actions.

The intent makes the difference.

Thank you so much for answering Me.
and spicybrains too
I wish you a great day.

Warm Greetingz

GoddezzT`

< Message edited by GoddessTeaze -- 1/7/2008 11:09:40 PM >

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RE: Good explanation about difference sub versus bottom? - 1/10/2008 8:01:43 AM

mscheveous

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my perspective is i will bottom to the right person and only submit when body mind and soul are touched

the physical want for pain is my bottom side....
the submissive want is my wish to give up control

and in saying that it is similar for topping

to top to have control over the physical activities of playing
to be Dominant is caring for the whole person..

although I will add.. any of this has to have a connection between the participating parties..

smiles..
msch

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RE: Good explanation about difference sub versus bottom? - 1/10/2008 8:08:46 AM

GoddessTeaze

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Thanx mschevous,
Having things clear is good

and ofcourse Everybody else too! thanx
Warm Greetingz

GoddezzT`

< Message edited by GoddessTeaze -- 1/10/2008 8:11:11 AM >

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RE: Good explanation about difference sub versus bottom? - 1/10/2008 8:14:14 AM

oliderid

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I totally agree with mscheveous. I really need a psychological "context" to submit. Beeing seduced in some ways .
It looks to me that too many people forget that seducing should be part of the game. When I top, I always try to bring some "refinements".
It is not that hard...After chatting for few minutes you can already spot major psychological trend in a personnality. Then with a bit of experiences you can easily assume what will turn him/her down. This is quite rewarding :-).
It really depends of your partner, somes requires a "sensual" approach or a more direct one or something mixed.

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RE: Good explanation about difference sub versus bottom? - 1/10/2008 1:43:21 PM

beargonewild

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Unfortunately in my world, top/bottom submissive/bottom basically mean the same.
Top=Dominate
Bottom=Submissive
Thus it's proving to be an interesting learning experience to interpret the different connotations correctly in the BDSM realm!

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RE: Good explanation about difference sub versus bottom? - 1/14/2008 6:53:45 AM

mscheveous

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"After chatting for few minutes you can already spot major psychological trend in a personnality"

I have always found I relate better with switches. Unfortunately there are those Doms who only see it black and white..
I like to think a dark purple bruise will eventually turn colours from green to yellow when it fades... laughing...

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RE: Good explanation about difference sub versus bottom? - 1/21/2008 7:36:48 PM

sharainks

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One of the best things to describe the difference is something I saw online several years ago. A dominant was playing with a bottom. When he told her to count she said "count them yourself." Of course that could also apply to someone who was simply masochistic with no sub tendencies.

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RE: Good explanation about difference sub versus bottom? - 1/23/2008 6:41:31 AM

DesFIP

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I bottom to him in play. I am submissive when I'm searching under tables and desks for socks he took off and discarded all over the house.

Trust me, I get no erotic thrill out of the great laundry hunt.

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RE: Good explanation about difference sub versus bottom? - 1/24/2008 5:01:54 PM

pettingdragons

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quote:

ORIGINAL: GoddessTeaze

who has a site for Me? or in here..?

Thank Yyou so much.

GoddezzT`

Depends on who you are and what you want to do....

my 2 cents...
Pamela

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RE: Good explanation about difference sub versus bottom? - 1/31/2008 7:26:09 PM

pettingdragons

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Good explanation about difference sub versus bottom?

One you eat and one you spank.......

Pamela

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RE: Good explanation about difference sub versus bottom? - 2/3/2008 11:39:00 AM

LeePerth

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Hmmm

Let's add another dimension to the topic.
With me my sadistic side is the result of my masochistic side.
Thats why I am a switch.

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RE: Good explanation about difference sub versus bottom? - 2/3/2008 1:57:00 PM

girlygurl