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Disablilties and Bondage/Slavery - 8/17/2005 6:21:35 PM   
Grimmbear


Posts: 49
Joined: 8/15/2005
Status: offline 		Hi all,
I have Diabetic neuropathy in my legs making it painful and actually damaging to stand for long periods of time. In addition I have badly damaged knees from an old childhood accident that makes it almost impossible to kneel for even a few seconds without pain beyond my ability to endure. I have been very afraid a Master would not want to play with me due to my disabilities as it limits my activities.
Has anyone else ever dealt with this kind of thing?

Love and Lightning,
Grimm


_____________________________

I believe in Magic. Magic is the force that we all create whenever we do anything either good or bad. I am here on this world to create magic with as many people as I can.
Want to make some Magic?
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Disablilties and Bondage/Slavery - 8/17/2005 7:08:52 PM   
ragdoll


Posts: 231
Joined: 5/20/2005
From: New England
Status: offline 		i imagine that others have been through that too... this is a really good question.. and i'm going to keep an eye on this topic because i think, at least in a small way, this might eventually become an issue for me too.........

Pax,
-h

(in reply to Grimmbear)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Disablilties and Bondage/Slavery - 8/17/2005 7:22:59 PM   
Grimmbear


Posts: 49
Joined: 8/15/2005
Status: offline 		Thanks Ragdoll,
I also can't stand to have my legs tied up unless it's very loose.

I'm wondering if I should post a thread about my other illness; Andropause It's a bastard thing to happen to a guy.

_____________________________

I believe in Magic. Magic is the force that we all create whenever we do anything either good or bad. I am here on this world to create magic with as many people as I can.
Want to make some Magic?

(in reply to ragdoll)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Disablilties and Bondage/Slavery - 8/18/2005 7:47:00 AM   
perfection20005


Posts: 419
Joined: 4/20/2005
Status: offline 		Grimmbear,
I had an accident 2 years ago that crushed both of my legs. I have more steel and titanium in me than most buildings!!
My Master knew of this up front, I have problems doing some positions and can't stand very long either. So far, we have been able to work around this problem. He tells me that it doesn't matter since we have lots of fun. If there is something that we try and I can't do it, I just tell Hime and we try something else.
Just make sure you are upfront about your problems and most Masters will work around the disability. There are all kinds of ways to serve and not all of them include standing or kneeling for long periods.
I wish you luck in your journey.

_____________________________

perfection

"I took one look at Him, and I knew He was my Master."

(in reply to Grimmbear)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Disablilties and Bondage/Slavery - 8/18/2005 9:18:02 AM   
Grimmbear


Posts: 49
Joined: 8/15/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: perfection20005

Grimmbear,
I had an accident 2 years ago that crushed both of my legs. I have more steel and titanium in me than most buildings!!

Goddess bless! Perfection I'm so glad you responded. Master Thomas must be a wonderful man.

_____________________________

I believe in Magic. Magic is the force that we all create whenever we do anything either good or bad. I am here on this world to create magic with as many people as I can.
Want to make some Magic?

(in reply to perfection20005)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Disablilties and Bondage/Slavery - 8/20/2005 6:21:53 AM   
perfection20005


Posts: 419
Joined: 4/20/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Grimmbear



Goddess bless! Perfection I'm so glad you responded. Master Thomas must be a wonderful man.


He is a very wonderful Master. I don't think any man could be more patient.

_____________________________

perfection

"I took one look at Him, and I knew He was my Master."

(in reply to Grimmbear)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Disablilties and Bondage/Slavery - 8/20/2005 6:36:51 AM   
FTopinMichigan


Posts: 571
Joined: 7/5/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Grimmbear

I have Diabetic neuropathy in my legs making it painful and actually damaging to stand for long periods of time. In addition I have badly damaged knees from an old childhood accident that makes it almost impossible to kneel for even a few seconds without pain beyond my ability to endure. I have been very afraid a Master would not want to play with me due to my disabilities as it limits my activities.
Has anyone else ever dealt with this kind of thing?


I've watched this thread for a few days, and am surprised that it is not filled with more responses.

I will open and honest, and express that I am seeking a partner that is healthy and strong, not unlike myself. My interests are related to his being healthy and strong, and yes, there are certain disabilities that would preclude me from being able to enjoy much of what I might enjoy with him.

One of the things that's imperative, is for health issues to be discussed openly. I have had partners with health issues, and we've worked around them, but they have never interfered with what either of us enjoy.

What I don't abide by is the sub/bottom that hides their illness/disease, only for it to come out later, when something goes wrong. Not being open about it is tantamount to lying, in my book, and it's also a HUGE safety concern.

Have I ever not got involved (or had a scene) with someone that had health issues...yes. Whether my ignorance of the illness/disease, or my fear of injuring them....or my own selfish need to enjoy more....it's happened.

K




(in reply to Grimmbear)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Disablilties and Bondage/Slavery - 8/20/2005 9:09:05 AM   
travellingkiwi


Posts: 5
Joined: 3/18/2005
Status: offline 		Well, I am pleased to see I am not the only sub out there with this worry. I have arthritis in my knees which makes it impossible to kneel without great pain, in other words.. impossible. It really worries me as kneeling is so much a part of being submissive. Actually I wonder about devices that make it possible to kneel with out having your knees on the floor so much, like a padded device that cradle along your shins but am not even sure how confortable that would be. Arthritis makes for muscles stiffness as well. I am hoping a that Curves ( the gym) will help me work on making my hips and muscles more supple.
My two cents worth to this discussion....

(in reply to FTopinMichigan)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Disablilties and Bondage/Slavery - 8/20/2005 9:16:52 AM   
Grimmbear


Posts: 49
Joined: 8/15/2005
Status: offline 		Ftopinmichigan, The very first time I was with a man he got me drunk and after I gave him a blow job he almost stroked out.
After the paramedics left he told me his doctor told him he wasn't allowed to have sex at all due to his heart condition.

This scared me away from all sexual encounters for over a year.

_____________________________

I believe in Magic. Magic is the force that we all create whenever we do anything either good or bad. I am here on this world to create magic with as many people as I can.
Want to make some Magic?

(in reply to travellingkiwi)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Disablilties and Bondage/Slavery - 8/20/2005 10:58:01 AM   
LadyJulieAnn


Posts: 979
Joined: 6/29/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Grimmbear

Hi all,
I have Diabetic neuropathy in my legs making it painful and actually damaging to stand for long periods of time. In addition I have badly damaged knees from an old childhood accident that makes it almost impossible to kneel for even a few seconds without pain beyond my ability to endure. I have been very afraid a Master would not want to play with me due to my disabilities as it limits my activities.
Has anyone else ever dealt with this kind of thing?

Love and Lightning,
Grimm



Hi Grimm,

I think if you communicate your limitations upfront, any dominant worth something will take them into account and be creative enough to make the scene something pleasureable for you both. Safety of the sub should be first and foremost in my opinion, and the things you mention are safety issues as far as I am concerned.

Be well,
Julie

(in reply to Grimmbear)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Disablilties and Bondage/Slavery - 8/20/2005 11:56:47 AM   
FTopinMichigan


Posts: 571
Joined: 7/5/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Grimmbear

Ftopinmichigan, The very first time I was with a man he got me drunk and after I gave him a blow job he almost stroked out.
After the paramedics left he told me his doctor told him he wasn't allowed to have sex at all due to his heart condition.

This scared me away from all sexual encounters for over a year.


Grimmbear, I'm sorry you had to suffer such a trauma. How unfair (and unsafe) of your partner, to put you in that position.

On a lighter note, I had rather severe asthma, due to allergies, when I was in my twenties. My boyfriend and I were having an intimate encounter, when I started to breath heavy, with quite a bit of wheezing. He actually thought he was THAT good. Fortunately, a poof of medicine brought me back, and there were no consequences, except an interrupted encounter. While my partner knew I had asthma, he didn't know the possible effects.

Two stories to solidify the need to communicate about all health issues.

K

(in reply to Grimmbear)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Disablilties and Bondage/Slavery - 8/20/2005 11:57:01 AM   
wednesday


Posts: 93
Joined: 6/21/2005
Status: offline 		I have a muscular condition that makes it difficult to stay in any position too long, be it standing, kneeling, etc.

We discussed it up front, and it was no problem. Once the communication was established, it was easy. I can always say "I have to move" and it's understood that it is not me sassing him or being a brat, it's just best for both of us if I DON'T have to go to the hospital.

(in reply to Grimmbear)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Disablilties and Bondage/Slavery - 8/20/2005 9:43:55 PM   
batty24546


Posts: 43
Joined: 5/21/2005
Status: offline 		I have a lot of old sport injuries that prevent me from geting into a lot of positions. Mostly problems with my back and sholder. My mistress knew about all of these long before we ever started to play. So she is very catious not to push to far, and if i can't do something or it hurts to much, she is always willing to try something eles. There are always other possitions to do things in. She is also very good at rubing the pain away afterwards, if it something that just gets sore from being in one spot to long.

Anyways my point is...Where there is a will there is a way (I have no idea who said that, but it is very true) Just be careful and comunicate compleatly about how you feel, and what you can and can't do. If the master has any idea what he is doing, and is truely interested in your service he will find something that works with you both.

batty

(in reply to wednesday)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Disablilties and Bondage/Slavery - 8/21/2005 9:49:46 AM   
IronBear


Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline 		I had a girl who was disabled due to a vehicle accident. All this said was that we had to find ways and means in which she could play..

< Message edited by IronBear -- 8/21/2005 9:51:21 AM >

_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to batty24546)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Disablilties and Bondage/Slavery - 8/22/2005 10:22:53 AM   
facecushion4u


Posts: 2
Joined: 8/4/2005
Status: offline 		Hello Grimmbear, i too feel your pain in many ways! <excuse the pun, wink> First of all, i have foot problems which prevent me from standing for any length of time, an arthritic right knee which makes kneeling almost impossible as my range of motion is very limited, chronic low back pain which i can't seem to get rid of, so i just live with the pain. And lastly, a pinched nerve in my neck that has since fused the vertabrae in my spine between my shoulders into one solid piece, making it impossible for me to lay on my stomach when giving oral pleasure to a Mistress. So, the only position i can be pain free to do this is on my back with the Mistress sitting on me. On top of all this, i am suffering from impotency problems......UGHHHHHHH!!!! Sad to say, i have a number of strikes against me at my age and most Dommes won't even give me a second look. However, i may have lucked out but only time will tell. my daughter introduced me to one of Her clients who is 12 years my junior. We talked quite a bit about life and sex and She seems open to trying just about anything and actually likes the idea of being in control sexually. So like i said, time will tell. The best of luck to you Grimmbear and i hope you find someone worthy of having your submission.

ron aka facecushion4u

(in reply to IronBear)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Disablilties and Bondage/Slavery - 8/22/2005 7:54:06 PM   
MissA


Posts: 192
Joined: 6/19/2004
Status: offline 		I only know of one person with disabilities in the lifestyle personally but they are wheelchair bound for the most part and still manage to do just fine. For play this submissive uses something to lie down on, bed/table/couch, and the Top has to be careful to note problem areas and such to avoid (issues of the disability), but other than that it is just as hot as any scene I've ever watched. I know others who have physical problems as well and many many people who simply can't kneel. Someone said that's a big part of being a submissive but I have to disagree - you're no less submissive sitting cross-legged or legs to the side on a pillow at your Dominant's feet than you are kneeling especially when there are physical issues. I also see many people who use frequent position changing to alleviate problems caused by staying in one place too long. I agree wholeheartedly that any caring Dominant should be creative in figuring out ways for you to serve.

~Ms. A~

_____________________________

Life is not measured in the number of breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breath away ~Author Unknown~
My Domain

(in reply to facecushion4u)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Disablilties and Bondage/Slavery - 8/23/2005 4:18:39 PM   
HalloweenWhite


Posts: 1028
Joined: 6/20/2005
Status: offline 		Sadly yes,I think its just a fact of life,really.


HalloweenWhite.

(in reply to Grimmbear)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Disablilties and Bondage/Slavery - 9/20/2005 1:59:13 PM   
girl4you2


Posts: 1622
Joined: 8/4/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Grimmbear

Hi all,
I have Diabetic neuropathy in my legs making it painful and actually damaging to stand for long periods of time. In addition I have badly damaged knees from an old childhood accident that makes it almost impossible to kneel for even a few seconds without pain beyond my ability to endure. I have been very afraid a Master would not want to play with me due to my disabilities as it limits my activities.
Has anyone else ever dealt with this kind of thing?

Love and Lightning,
Grimm



i've known both dominants and submissives with health and disability issues. communication and focusing on abilities should be the way to a rewarding life, in the bdsm realm as well as the general public life. i wish you the best. i'm sure you've much to give to the right person.

(in reply to Grimmbear)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Disablilties and Bondage/Slavery - 9/20/2005 6:31:15 PM   
Dom4UA


Posts: 78
Joined: 8/12/2005
From: Alabama
Status: offline 		I have a couple of health issues that have made me improvise several activities!Most of my friends and partners are understanding with the situation and even offer to help me do things!!

_____________________________

When opportunity knocks,don't knock the opportunity

(in reply to girl4you2)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Disablilties and Bondage/Slavery - 9/20/2005 7:36:24 PM   
muzz


Posts: 19
Joined: 8/5/2005
Status: offline 		i am also a diabetic and when i first got into the lifestyle was afraid no one would want me because as a diabetic alone there are many things we should not be involved in...ex..anything that involves breaking the skin..

i have talked to many Doms/Masters during my search for a Master and i have always told them upfront about my diabetes and how it limits some things...i have only had one in all that time that immediately ceased contact once knowing...i have found that most are ok with that and even willing learn (if they don't know) about the disease and how and why care must be taken...


(in reply to Grimmbear)
Profile   Post #: 20
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