RE: how many mistress or slaves wanted to leave the lifestyl (Full Version)

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MissMagnolia -> RE: how many mistress or slaves wanted to leave the lifestyl (12/19/2007 4:11:25 AM)

[:D]Thank you.[:D]



FreeAgent -> RE: how many mistress or slaves wanted to leave the lifestyl (12/19/2007 4:26:36 AM)

wow

....that's it.  That was all I had to add.   Just...wow!



pixelslave -> RE: how many mistress or slaves wanted to leave the lifestyl (12/19/2007 6:51:28 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Subboy06

I've started finding myself at a cross roads my mom who unfortunately found out about me being in the lifestyle when she stumbled accross my toy bag (had more books than toys). She is very christian and keeps asking me if I fall in love with someone who doesn't support bdsm will I leave it for love? (my father was a submissive and gave up the lifestyle for my mother I found out when he hid my toy bag so she couldn't torch it), I recently received a training collar and part of my contract I have to be honest with my mom at all times if she asks I'm not allowed to lie which makes things extremely uncomfortable in my house and I find myself almost feeling like I'm being torn apart alot of the time and honestly am not completely sure what to do about it. I think alot about trying to go back into vanillaism but honestly never seemed to really fit in in it. I was at one time in line to become a youth leader for a church so that seems to tear me apart even further. I think I'm starting to ramble so I'm just going to shut up and curl up in a corner now.
Submissively yours,
subboy


subboy,
I think it is unfortunate that your Mistress has taken this approach with you.  I don't think it's her right to force you to out yourself to your family.  There are other ways to be honest with your mother without sharing hurtful information or having frequent "in your face" confrontations with your mother over your activities.  Simply saying "you probably don't want to know" or "I think it's best we don't discuss it further" would not be lying to her and would clearly convey the message to her that you're likely going to be engaging in activities she wouldn't approve of.  Now that she knows about the path you've chosen to follow, she really doesn't need to know the details until she's ready at which time she'll ask. [&:]
 
As to church, I know a sub in the lifestyle who until recently taught Sunday School at the church where my children attend with their mother.  I see no conflict in this.  The church accepts people of all lifestyles and at least half of the congregation (probably more like 2/3rds) are lesbian and gay couples who are living as couples who out of the closet, including one of the assistant ministers. [8|]
 
I wish you well and hope you will discuss this issue further with your Mistress; with her hopefully agreeing to modify your contract to allow for a less stressful living situation at home.  IMO, neither you nor your mother and father need this kind of constant tension and conflict in your home over the lifestyle choices you are making.  Clearly, it's not working to your benefit, nor to the benefit of your relationship with your Mistress if it's causing you such stress. [>:]
 
 - pixel
 
   Collared to Majik



thetammyjo -> RE: how many mistress or slaves wanted to leave the lifestyl (12/19/2007 7:10:01 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Subboy06

This is because my Mistress felt that by hiding and by coming up with excuses for where I was going and what I was doing was dishonoring my mothers love for me and that by doing so my mom would start to trust me more and allow me to make my own decisions more (shes very overprotective and sheltering and at first thought I was trying to do things to rebel against her which I'm not). Not to mention that to an agreement with my parents while I attend college I get free room and board at home so I can have money saved up for when I graduate and move out.


It's a tough call.

There have been times when I've wanted to tell Fox to be completely honest with his parents but my personal moral and ethical code tells me that as an adult he has to be able to make his own decisions. As someone who survived similar things to what he did, I also know that he needs to be empowered to make those choices. For myself I can't support a lie.

So when his parents call and ask where he is, I tell them what they need to know but I never lie. Since we live 24/7 and frankly most people who do seem very mundane to the outsider, when they visit I don't change my behavior one bit. They just think their son is a very kind and loving person living with two people whom they thought were evil and weird but with every interaction they can see that clearly isn't so.

Honestly it's only a decision that you can make just as you could make a decision to leave your mistress or move out of your parents' house. Maybe not an easy or simple decision but a decision you can make nonetheless. Keep the lines of communication open with everyone as much as you can and over time you'll be able to make your best decision or maybe, like Fox's parents, yours will see its not quite what they thought.



laurell3 -> RE: how many mistress or slaves wanted to leave the lifestyl (12/19/2007 9:47:26 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Subboy06

This is because my Mistress felt that by hiding and by coming up with excuses for where I was going and what I was doing was dishonoring my mothers love for me and that by doing so my mom would start to trust me more and allow me to make my own decisions more (shes very overprotective and sheltering and at first thought I was trying to do things to rebel against her which I'm not). Not to mention that to an agreement with my parents while I attend college I get free room and board at home so I can have money saved up for when I graduate and move out.


Yeah that's a tough one subboy,  I think there may be a more balanced answer somewhere other than totally leaving the lifestyle.  Can you not actively lie to your parents without volunteering information that is painful to them perhaps?  Either way, I wish you luck with this one, it's not an easy situation.



DiurnalVampire -> RE: how many mistress or slaves wanted to leave the lifestyl (12/19/2007 9:56:39 AM)

I think dogboy might be the follower that that Domi's been asking to be saved from for so long...

Subboy, I am in a similiar situation with you. Angel is in almost exactly the same place, with the ultra christian family who doesnt know a thing about our relationship. He is very active in his church and is in youth ministry and missions. The honesty is not as hard as you think, really. If your mother asks you if you fell in love with someone vanilla and would leave the lifestyle for her, the answer is honestly you do not know. You are not in that situation and you cant answer that hypothetically. It is not a lie, there are some people you would fall for that you would leave the lfiestyle fr without a second thought, and others that you would not.

Id be happy to discuss things with you, on the other side, if you PM me.

AS for the OP, get off your soap box and just leave. If you are waiting for someone to step up and beg you to stay and give things another chance, you sure as hell arent going to find it here. I am all for someone leaving if the lifestyle isnt a good fit, dont waste your time nor anyone elses trying to make a square peg fit in a round hole.

DV



EvilGenie -> RE: how many mistress or slaves wanted to leave the lifestyl (12/19/2007 10:14:40 AM)

~FR~

Okay, I have to say it. I am a highly spiritual woman with a deep and abiding faith in and love for GOD.  That being said, I do not pray to or follow a Prophet. I will follow his teachings though. Again, that being said, I have a religion I am very comfortable with and also know that I am loved whether it be earthly or heavenly as I am a good person with a huge heart. BUT, I am also smart enough to know where, when and whom to speak to about it. These boards are not the place. Even my religion disallows preaching to those whom do not ask about it nor does it promogate the idea of preaching to those whose hearts are closed to such talk. All of this is deeply personal and I feel no need to espouse anything.

Dogboy you hadn't said it but I knew all of this was coming and it was a bit of an ambush given the title of the thread. If you want to discuss GOD, Jesus, any Prophet, religion or paganism then you'd better be placing that in your thread title.

EG



blckmlslv -> RE: how many mistress or slaves wanted to leave the lifestyl (12/19/2007 10:18:19 AM)

I could never leave this scene. It is too adictive.



KarbonCopy -> RE: how many mistress or slaves wanted to leave the lifestyl (12/19/2007 4:51:37 PM)

I would.



subfever -> RE: how many mistress or slaves wanted to leave the lifestyl (12/19/2007 10:06:03 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MsCfromMelbourne

...It wasn't BDSM that was my problem, it was my need to "save" every cute stray dog that landed on my door step.



Woof woof! <wags tail on your doorstep and tilts head to the side, trying to look cute>



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