AAkasha -> If you were 18 years old now. (12/17/2007 2:58:47 PM)
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Thanks to the Internet, all someone has to do is google a few terms and they are inundated with a lot more information than they could imagine. What does this mean for young people who are kinky? Most say it's a good thing - after all, having information, and knowing you are "ok" is a good thing. But what about the types of content out there and how you view it and interpret it? Using myself as an example, I was tying up the opposite sex as soon as I was old enough to date. There was no internet around that time. I knew I liked bondage when I saw it on TV. I had never seen pornography, though. I think I was babysitting and saw a few issues of "FORUM" magazine and read some of the stories, and found the sex stuff and kink to be kind of odd, but not that titilating. All I had available to me at that time was the college library where my brother attended, as I sometimes went with him to have access to more selection than was at my public library. Through research I landed upon some articles in texts like "Journal of Sexuality" and the works of deSade and Sacher-Masoch, but this was all a bit overwhelming; after all, I just liked to tie guys up. I was still a virgin. The idea of "kinky sex" was -- well, weird, and did not seem too *normal* to me. I imagine, now, what would have happened if I had done that same research on today's Internet. WHAM. I would have been really overwhelmed. Would I have decided it was sick and twisted? Would I have thought that kinky people were freaks and weirdos? I had very limited experience to go on, after all. I knew what I liked was exciting, but I knew that *reading about* what some kinky people did seemed awfully twisted and odd. The only reason I didn't start suffering from fear, self loathing and depression was because I was well adjusted and not that worried that something was wrong with me. I didn't want to do *that stuff* after all, I was just happy with my little bondage games. And, I thought, deep down, I would probably grow out of it. Remember, I was still a virgin. It wasn't until my sexuality evolved that I got less freaked out by some of the ideas and imagery (granted, I did not SEE most of it, I read about it) and more comfortable with it, but still, I took it all in baby steps. I also know that by self experimentation, at my own pace, with guys I dated, I sort of followed a path that felt natural, and there was no expectation of what I was supposed to do. Kink, to me, seems presented in a very "this is how you do it," way on the net. The materials I had access to didn't say how you did it, or what you labeled it. And there were so few materials available, anyway. I don't know what would have happened to me if I had the Internet instead of the library, and I had "help" rather than just did it on my own and did what felt comfortable and natural. I also don't know what would happen to me if I had met a "submissive" (with more experience than me) to tell me how to do it, vs. just gradually exploring with boyfriends that found it odd, exciting, and at least worth a try - but, were along for the ride, and not there to tell me how or what to do. I wonder what risk there is of new, younger people (or, new people in general) getting so inundated with imagery and messages that they can't find their own sexual identity. I went through a period of time that I completely dismissed all BDSM erotica, both written and visual, as useless to me. It wasn't until I discovered gay male bdsm (in the form of the magazine, "Bound and Gagged") that I realized as a female with toppish bondage fetishes, there did exist some erotica that would appeal to me. I found het BDSM porn to be objectifying and silly, and it held no erotic appeal for me. What if that had been all I had to base my early investigations on? I was better off trying to fumble through "Venus in Furs." Is the Internet a good thing for someone who is trying to find out what their urges really mean? Akasha
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