RE: Consequences...When?

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RumpusParable -> RE: Consequences...When? (12/19/2007 7:39:19 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LoveMyAussiePet When/What Circumstances do you discipline your submissive? When they've broken a clearly established rule. If there's doubt to it being clear, then we fix the misunderstanding. quote: Do you discipline them for ANY breach of your rules/expectations - regardless of explanation or circumstance? Yes, for any and all. But I've few absolute rules and punishment varies by situation. Just stating "I saw what you did there, it's not acceptable" can be more than enough discipline/punishment in some situations with some subs/slaves. Discipline/punishment need not always be huge, violent or dramatic. quote: Do you discipline if you think it justifiable? Why else would I ever discipline? I certainly wouldn't discipline someone if I didn't think they actually deserved it! Outside of playful "punishments" I only ever discipline if I feel it's justified... I don't understand why one would waste time and energy if they didn't... And wouldn't that send a confusing message to the sub/slave? "I'm going to punish/correct you for doing this but I don't actually think you did anything wrong... ". quote: Do you listen to your submissive if some form of breach is made, communicate back and forth and discuss? Or do you just whip out some form of punishment off the bat? Depends on what the offense is. For some things, there can be many, many reasons for breaking a rule and communication is much needed. Other things are very basic and clear without complications of whys. There are too many variables and possibilities to give these questions a single universal answer. quote: Scenario 1) Sub is supposed to perform a specific task and fails to come through - How do you react? Again, totally depends. Are we talking about feeding my cats while I'm away on vacation or refusing to wear the socks I've laid out which I've had them wear before? quote: Scenario 2) Sub does something you dont particularly like, she assumes you wont like, but communication isnt possible (legitimate reason) so she doesnt know EXACTLY what your wishes might be - How do you react? This one confuses me... Why wouldn't they go with the option closest to what I'd prefer them to do? Can you give an example where the only choice would be something I would be set against and they knew it? I really can't think of anything off the top of my head where there wouldn't be a way to go with the "lesser evil".

RumpusParable -> RE: Consequences...When? (12/19/2007 7:42:42 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: RoverSomeone who requires or desires regular or frequent discipline or punishment needs someone other than me for a partner. And I, too, agree with this for my relationships...

DesFIP -> RE: Consequences...When? (12/19/2007 4:03:10 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: RumpusParable This one confuses me... Why wouldn't they go with the option closest to what I'd prefer them to do? Can you give an example where the only choice would be something I would be set against and they knew it? I really can't think of anything off the top of my head where there wouldn't be a way to go with the "lesser evil". I've got one and I don't get punished for it. My oldest has multiple mood disorders including some Sensory Integration Dysfunction. Meaning she's really sensitive to taste, smell, touch. And she can't tolerate nuts in any form. So if he tells me to buy Tin Roof Sundae ice cream which has nuts, I am not going to do so. I will buy another chocolate ice cream with something crunchy but I won't buy the Tin Roof because it will cause problems. I'm also not going to call him up and have an anxiety attack over it, I'll pick chocolate with chocolate covered pretzels or chocolate with Twix candy bits but he won't get the one with the nuts.

LoveMyAussiePet -> RE: Consequences...When? (12/19/2007 5:07:19 PM)
Ill give a more specific example which has actually occured. My Pet has a male friend whom she has been intimate with since before her and I met. Long story short - I have not asked her to eliminate this relationship and maintain it in her life on the provision of certain articles we have discussed. One of those proviso's is that it had been agreed she would ask permission in order to see them. He called her after work one evening and asked her to come around because the holidays are coming up and he would be leaving town for a while. Due to the time difference in our LDR she wasnt able to catch me and communicate the fact he had asked her last-minute to stop by (not a "booty" call mind you, just to see each other and say Hi before he left town for a bit). Unable to aquire a response from me at the time she agreed to go over. She knew this would upset me and I would not be happy that she went to see him without my express consent. Knowing this she still did it. Her line of thinking was that if we HAD talked and she had explained the situation to me I would have allowed it - again, however, she knew that just going off and doing it without my knowing would have upset me. In the end I did end up getting a bit miffed over it - but we did disuss it, talked it over and I did not give a consequence for it. I guess the thought I was having later that day is I should have. Maybe its just me, I dont know. Again, the responses to this thread have been great and thanks.

Lumus -> RE: Consequences...When? (12/19/2007 5:30:50 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LoveMyAussiePet When/What Circumstances do you discipline your submissive? Do you discipline them for ANY breach of your rules/expectations - regardless of explanation or circumstance? Do you discipline if you think it justifiable? Do you listen to your submissive if some form of breach is made, communicate back and forth and discuss? Or do you just whip out some form of punishment off the bat? Just looking for answers, not necessarily a "right" or "wrong" one. If you need food for thought heres a pair of different examples on different ends of the spectrum (at least in my eyes): Scenario 1) Sub is supposed to perform a specific task and fails to come through - How do you react? Scenario 2) Sub does something you dont particularly like, she assumes you wont like, but communication isnt possible (legitimate reason) so she doesnt know EXACTLY what your wishes might be - How do you react? Hmm. Lessee. They vary, most often punishment is meant for her betterment - it can be instructive, it can straighten her mindset...but I'm not of the school of thought that random whacking of heads accomplishes anything. I keep my rules simple as I can, and breach of them involves discussion first, not the whip. You never know if you've incorrectly communicated something, and it's better to learn first then whack and ask later. See above. Regarding the scenarios: 1. Too vague, as any task may be specific and still involve numerous different criteria. Failure to fill out the tax forms may be vexing but is probably not worth an ass-whuppin. 2. With dislike or distaste, preferably to create the venue for communication that allows the scenario to be resolved... Side note: I do get the vibe from this OP that the question is really, "Do you only punish your submissive when it's deserved, and by what criteria do you define 'deserving'?". Could be me.

DesFIP -> RE: Consequences...When? (12/20/2007 6:06:51 AM)
Interesting example but I view that as your fault, not hers. Assuming you've told her not to call during certain hours, so she can't get permission, and that she's also been told to always ask permission, it's your fault for not deciding what she should do when the rules collide. Here, certain rules are more important than others. Knowing that, it enables me to make decisions without getting into such a bind that no matter what I do, I'm wrong.

ligar59 -> RE: Consequences...When? (12/25/2007 2:16:03 PM)
When/What Circumstances do you discipline your submissive? *When rules have been broken, when disobedience has been displayed, when tasks have not been done due to lack of effort.* Do you discipline them for ANY breach of your rules/expectations - regardless of explanation or circumstance? *You take everything on a cases by case basis. Yes, if there outside factors, those need to be considered.* Do you discipline if you think it justifiable? *Of course, that would be the only time* Do you listen to your submissive if some form of breach is made, communicate back and forth and discuss? Or do you just whip out some form of punishment off the bat? *You always need to listen and think things thru, only a fool goes of half cocked* If you need food for thought heres a pair of different examples on different ends of the spectrum (at least in my eyes): Scenario 1) Sub is supposed to perform a specific task and fails to come through - How do you react? *Patiently, logically, and openly.* Scenario 2) Sub does something you dont particularly like, she assumes you wont like, but communication isnt possible (legitimate reason) so she doesnt know EXACTLY what your wishes might be - How do you react? *You sit her down and tell her how to handle the situation in the future, should it reappear. There is no reason to discipline her, she did not do anything wrong*

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