Seeking an Answer

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eevin -> Seeking an Answer (12/19/2007 5:29:48 AM)
Recently i've been talking to a Mistress about accepting Her collar. But i realized yesterday that, because of all the things happening at the moment, i'm not ready to become Her's yet. How do you get over the feeling of self-disapointment? i feel like i gave up and just let myself down...

IrishMist -> RE: Seeking an Answer (12/19/2007 5:54:18 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: eevin Recently i've been talking to a Mistress about accepting Her collar. But i realized yesterday that, because of all the things happening at the moment, i'm not ready to become Her's yet. How do you get over the feeling of self-disapointment? i feel like i gave up and just let myself down... You take pride in being level headed enough to recognize that you are not ready for that level of commitment. There is no shame in that.

crouchingtigress -> RE: Seeking an Answer (12/19/2007 7:23:03 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: IrishMistYou take pride in being level headed enough to recognize that you are not ready for that level of commitment. There is no shame in that. yep![:)]

toservez -> RE: Seeking an Answer (12/19/2007 8:47:35 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: IrishMist quote: ORIGINAL: eevin Recently i've been talking to a Mistress about accepting Her collar. But i realized yesterday that, because of all the things happening at the moment, i'm not ready to become Her's yet. How do you get over the feeling of self-disapointment? i feel like i gave up and just let myself down... You take pride in being level headed enough to recognize that you are not ready for that level of commitment. There is no shame in that. I agree as well with this. Most mistakes happen when we know something is not right but we go ahead and hope things turn out all right anyway. Knowing yourself and where you are at should only be considered a positive thing by you and anyone who it affects.

girlygurl -> RE: Seeking an Answer (12/19/2007 8:57:28 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: IrishMist quote: ORIGINAL: eevin Recently i've been talking to a Mistress about accepting Her collar. But i realized yesterday that, because of all the things happening at the moment, i'm not ready to become Her's yet. How do you get over the feeling of self-disapointment? i feel like i gave up and just let myself down... You take pride in being level headed enough to recognize that you are not ready for that level of commitment. There is no shame in that. What Irish said. Well done eevin! girly

ownedgirlie -> RE: Seeking an Answer (12/19/2007 9:19:00 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: IrishMist quote: ORIGINAL: eevin Recently i've been talking to a Mistress about accepting Her collar. But i realized yesterday that, because of all the things happening at the moment, i'm not ready to become Her's yet. How do you get over the feeling of self-disapointment? i feel like i gave up and just let myself down... You take pride in being level headed enough to recognize that you are not ready for that level of commitment. There is no shame in that. Absolutely. And you said you're "not ready to become Her's *yet*." So there is still hope for the future, yes? If so, there is no disappointment to be had anyway, because you are still on your way there.

SayaNereida -> RE: Seeking an Answer (12/19/2007 9:29:22 AM)
quote: i'm not ready to become Her's yet. How do you get over the feeling of self-disapointment? i feel like i gave up and just let myself down... eevin, How can you say you have 'given up' when by your own words it's just not the right time now? If I may ask, what is it that you are dissappointed about? Saya

Stephann -> RE: Seeking an Answer (12/19/2007 9:40:22 AM)
Put yourself in her shoes; would you want a submissive who wasn't ready to be owned? On the bright side, in maintaining a healthy relationship isn't that hard. Stay friends, and work on the things you need to work on. Then down the road, if and when you feel ready, you'll be able to take this relationship further without any fears that you aren't going to be able to serve her the way she deserves. Good luck, Stephan

ksub4u -> RE: Seeking an Answer (12/19/2007 9:54:29 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: eevin Recently i've been talking to a Mistress about accepting Her collar. But i realized yesterday that, because of all the things happening at the moment, i'm not ready to become Her's yet. How do you get over the feeling of self-disapointment? i feel like i gave up and just let myself down... Look at it this way - you didn't let yourself down; rather, you listened to yourself, your needs, Mistress' needs and took one more step forward in your journey of self-discovery. Saying 'not yet' isn't a negative, it just means that there's a bit more work to be done. Recognizing that is very important, otherwise you may have been in a situation which was bad for both of you.

sub4hire -> RE: Seeking an Answer (12/19/2007 1:07:43 PM)
You say YOU realized. Did you talk it over with her? Perhap's she would be willing to wait for the right sub to get his/her head together?

eevin -> RE: Seeking an Answer (12/19/2007 2:20:07 PM)
Saya: i think i'm disapointed after spending so many years of searching and longing i seem to have just given in to my doubts and fears. i know that i have a lot of things to straight out in my own life at the moment before i can dedicate myself fully to Her. i feel like i took the easy road around the situation i had in front of myself, and the choices i needed to make. But the Goddess, when i prayed to Her, told me i needed to be patient. i think, perhaps, upon today's reflection, that this is why She was giving me that message all along. sub4hire: The Mistress and i had been discussing many things, and She said that when the time was right, it would be my decision to make. She did not want me to feel pressured, and wanted only my happiness when i dedicated myself to Her collar. So W/we did discuss the matter, but i could only send her a message saying that i had made this decision, as i did not want Her to be disapointed or being forced to wait still for me to decide.

SayaNereida -> RE: Seeking an Answer (12/19/2007 4:37:09 PM)
quote: Saya: i think i'm disapointed after spending so many years of searching and longing i seem to have just given in to my doubts and fears. i know that i have a lot of things to straight out in my own life at the moment before i can dedicate myself fully to Her. i feel like i took the easy road around the situation i had in front of myself, and the choices i needed to make. eevin, I doubt there is an 'easy road' in this, you chose a road. The road you chose was to take the time you needed to be ready to give your all to the relationship; WHEN the time is right. 'How do you get over the feeling of self-disapointment?' Remind yourself of the reasons for the decision and take the time to address them with yourself. Own your feelings of disappointment but don't allow the disappointment to own you. Much luck on your path. Saya

gorgeous1 -> RE: Seeking an Answer (12/19/2007 4:40:51 PM)
It's better to be uncollared than to be led by the wrong leash.

petpete -> RE: Seeking an Answer (12/19/2007 4:42:39 PM)
i also agree with the rest of the board.. you have made a very level headed decision and you should keep in touch with Her for any later developments.. It sounds like you do still have feelings for Her.. It takes time to make the right decision. my present Mistress who is training me has given me 3 months to see if i can or not make it up to Her..

sexyred1 -> RE: Seeking an Answer (12/19/2007 4:43:40 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: gorgeous1 It's better to be uncollared than to be led by the wrong leash. we could needlepoint that on a pillow and sell 'em!

laurell3 -> RE: Seeking an Answer (12/19/2007 5:17:40 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: IrishMist quote: ORIGINAL: eevin Recently i've been talking to a Mistress about accepting Her collar. But i realized yesterday that, because of all the things happening at the moment, i'm not ready to become Her's yet. How do you get over the feeling of self-disapointment? i feel like i gave up and just let myself down... You take pride in being level headed enough to recognize that you are not ready for that level of commitment. There is no shame in that. Agreed.

DiurnalVampire -> RE: Seeking an Answer (12/19/2007 5:23:41 PM)
Doubs and fears are there for a reason, eevin. Sometimes, it is better to step back and reevaluate what you think you wanted. Obviously, if you do not think you are ready to be woned, you would not have been capable of giving this prospective owner your best effort. You cannot give yourself to someone until you are comfortable with the idea. Fox told me once that he is glad he didnt meet me a year ago. Back then, as much as he wanted things, he would never have been brave enough to actually go through with them. If you are interested in this potential owner, speak to her about your quandry. Tell her that you are not reay yet, but you would like the chance to be hers when you are ready. If this is within a reasonable amount of time, andshe truly believes you have potential, she might be willing to wait. Maybe you can even slow things down, and rather than go directly to an owned status from your freedom, you can ease into the relationship. When it gets overwhelming, it can cause you to backpedal and question everything you thought you wanted. Kudos, though, for having the smarts to get out rather than try and soldier through. There is nothing that jades a submissive faster than cauing themselves a bad first experience becasue they were too stubborn to refuse an offer they werent ready for. DV

DesFIP -> RE: Seeking an Answer (12/19/2007 5:46:21 PM)
The fact that you aren't ready yet doesn't mean you never will be. I refused when he first wanted to collar me because I didn't understand how it could work LDR. Once we had talked our way through this, then I accepted. So now's the time to talk to her about what is preventing you from being ready. Because she can't ever take you as hers if you don't tell her what's going on. She needs to know about all of you. Share with her.

grlneedstolearn -> RE: Seeking an Answer (12/19/2007 6:42:36 PM)
i tend to get myself in those self disappointed situations, especially now. i tend to set high hopes that something will happen and it never does. i would say just learn from it and move on, another day is near. Talk to your Mistress and see if the both of you can come up with something meaninful to get you out of your "funk". Best of luck

MasterFireMaam -> RE: Seeking an Answer (12/20/2007 12:26:47 AM)
Why do you feel disappointed in yourself? I think it's very self-aware to realize you're not ready. This is a GOOD thing. Master Fire

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