How about your B.D.S.M. feelings?

How about your B.D.S.M. feelings? (Full Version)

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loveandhonesty -> How about your B.D.S.M. feelings? (8/20/2005 4:30:07 AM)
Dear Members, I like to share some thoughts of mine, i do apologize for my bad sentences. Ever since my childhood i have submissive feelings. Dealing with this feelings is not easy. Careful steps towards bondage, crossdressing, humiliation opened a path of strong emotions. There where stages, my mind was only thinking about total commitment to a Female Dominant. Over the years i realize that its not a healthy situtation. You can’t expect that a Dominant takes care of your submissive feelings and feed them 24/7 hours a day. This year i felt free of this thought, became milder in my judgement. My mind is still loaded with questions. Is it real to start a B.D.S.M. relation if you become older in my case (44 years)? Do you realize that its only possible when you stay healthy? How does it feel when your both grow older and the Dominant can handle the whip or tie you up, do you still love her? I think that a L.T.R. can stand when you really are connected, love each other in good and in bad days. There is no perfect relation everbody wants to have a great life! When you both have a full life how is it possible to live the lifestyle? Can you expect from a submissive to wait the whole day on a bit of attention from his Dominant? If you inflict pain how much you need to get satisfied and is there a possibilitie you become a slave of your desires? B.D.S.M is a wonderfull world and i love strong Dominants with a brain and backbone living from the heart. When i travelling further on this road i fell myself soaring like an eagle, finding my true beeing. You can’t bind a free spirit Be yourself With warmth, respect and love, Sincerely, Silvester

IronBear -> RE: How about your B.D.S.M. feelings? (8/20/2005 4:37:53 AM)
quote: Is it real to start a B.D.S.M. relation if you become older in my case (44 years)? I was in my 50's when I became involved in BDSM but I was involved in M/s for a while before that. So I can see no reason why age should play a part of in when you start. Other than it may limit your chances of finding partners.

Focus50 -> RE: How about your B.D.S.M. feelings? (8/20/2005 4:49:49 AM)
There's way too much here for me to answer tonight but I'll tackle a few issues for you.... First off, forget about getting old and possibly infirm etc, that takes care of itself in the future and the time for living is NOW! Almost everyone, Dom/me or sub, is initailly slave to their own desires when starting out. I cease to be amazed at what some newbie subs will do to please me in order to feel the D/s dynamic. It's actually a source of annoyance for me now as it's not actually me they're seeing so much as the Dominant within.... A little older, a little grumpier.... lol I'm not in it for the play, it's totally about who I play with - a monogamous relationship.... So mutually "connecting" is possibly the most important and desired ingredient - and hardest to find.... sigh Gotta go - I wish you well in your own journey.... Focus50.

perfection20005 -> RE: How about your B.D.S.M. feelings? (8/20/2005 6:15:58 AM)
I don't think you are ever too old to start in the lifestyle. Some people just hide their feelings for years, I know I did. I believe you can have a full life and still be in the lifestyle. Its just like anything else in life, if you want it bad enough you can have it. I have waited a couple of days for some small attention from my Master. He's a busy man and I know He can't always drop everything for me. Thats life. Just wanted to let you know what I was thinking about a few of the things you asked.[8D]

sub4hire -> RE: How about your B.D.S.M. feelings? (8/20/2005 7:58:10 AM)
I'm not sure you are asking about age only. Although I have known plenty of people who find the lifestyle in their 50's-60's and even 70's. There is certainly no age limit. When in a lifestyle relationship there are no rules. First and foremost if you are actually in a relationship and not a play one. A good majority of the relationship seems vanilla. You cannot play all of the time no matter how much you think you may right now. There are ups and downs. Life goes on and there is no way to stop life from going on. So, yes you serve the dominant all of the time but it isn't naked in chains all of the time. Picture vanilla, you grow together. You make sacrifices. You talk and communicate. If one can no longer hold a whip you already love them and you understand. Perhaps they will figure out some new way to play with you. Remember it is not only you but them as well. They are part of the relationship. Think they won't want to carry on? At my last munch I saw a man I haven't seen in 5 years. The last time I saw him he was 75...thin and in frail health. When I saw him last weekend he is now 80 he is not so thin. He has a 30 year old sub and not so frail anymore. The lifestyle agree's with him very much. The transformation from the last time I saw him until now was amazing. Hang out around the boards and do some reading. Get a lifestyle book or two. Listen to other's. You'll soon find out the lifestyle isn't all that different from the regular life you have led. It just has it's added benefits.

EmeraldSlave2 -> RE: How about your B.D.S.M. feelings? (8/20/2005 8:12:37 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: loveandhonesty Is it real to start a B.D.S.M. relation if you become older in my case (44 years)? Yes. quote: Do you realize that its only possible when you stay healthy? How so? I'm still the Owners slave when I have strep throat. quote: How does it feel when your both grow older and the Dominant can handle the whip or tie you up, do you still love her? Dominance isn't the same as kink. I would assume as the relationship changes, the people involves in them grow into new things with eachother. quote: When you both have a full life how is it possible to live the lifestyle? Pretty well? To me living the lifestyle is just being me, it's not a set of rituals or kinks. quote: Can you expect from a submissive to wait the whole day on a bit of attention from his Dominant? If you're independently wealthy or are able to have the sub do that, sure. But it's kind of a waste of talent and usefulness on the part of the sub I would think. If the sub agrees to the situation, you can expect anything.

Veav -> RE: How about your B.D.S.M. feelings? (8/20/2005 8:12:56 AM)
The lifestyle is a state of mind, ne? So long as you're mature enough to alter that in yourself, the sky's the limit. Maybe I read into your OP wrong, but were you referring to physical health and the deterioration of such with age? I can think of a few non-aerobic activities (clamps, for instance, require little force and little maintenance), but again - so long as the will is strong, that's what's important. Kink is only part of it, and to some, an unnecessary part altogether... Though now I'm curious - has anyone ever known/seen disabled lifestylers (c.f. blind, deaf, missing limbs, wheelchair-bound)?

sub4hire -> RE: How about your B.D.S.M. feelings? (8/20/2005 8:14:22 AM)
quote: has anyone ever known/seen disabled lifestylers (c.f. blind, deaf, missing limbs, wheelchair-bound)? There are a lot of them out there...so yes.

pinkpleasures -> RE: How about your B.D.S.M. feelings? (8/20/2005 9:04:54 AM)
quote: Hang out around the boards and do some reading. Get a lifestyle book or two. Listen to other's. You'll soon find out the lifestyle isn't all that different from the regular life you have led. It just has it's added benefits. sub4hire It is a question for me as well; should i even consider becoming involved with a man in his 30's? Am i excluded/sought after because of my age and fantasises men have about women who are 52 as i am? It reminds me of attending law school; only about 6 of the student body was my age (35) and so it became necessary to build bridges with younger people. It was well-worth the effort, not just for the degree, but for the camaraderie i experienced...we were like troops in a battalion together. Intellectually, we had all battled. As for me, i had some vague expectations of what changes would happen to my face/body/libido as i aged. I was wrong on all counts. And now that i am free, i can rediscover my creativity; i can volunteer at the library; i can shop the Salvation Army for little things for my home....this stage (early retirement) is actually the happiest time of my life so far. BTW; to loveandhonesty; i thought your Op post was eloquently written. pinkpleasures

loveandhonesty -> RE: How about your B.D.S.M. feelings? (8/20/2005 3:19:55 PM)
Thanks for all your response on my threads. It was never my intention to highlight the topic about age, it was more a question how other people feel about this issue. I can only speak for myself, the inner beauty of a human being shines through the whole body and reflects the spirit in a way that makes me silent and humble This has nothing to do with age but with the person it self. Yes , i am still searching but not running, just taking gentle steps. I,ve read tons of material about the lifestyle, surfing the internet, placed "personals" respond to others and guess what it makes me tired. So, when i started to realize this, i changed my approach. No longer respond to many "personals" only when i feel it. Of course when your submissive feelings are embedded in the soul they are looking for a way out. I enjoy life, do my workouts, don't smoke don't drink into healthy food, and not a night person. Perhaps i'm limited, i don't visit clubs or meet people who are into the lifestyle. I prefer a long walk with my dog, exploring the nature a good swim. Every day it becomes lighter arround me, i more and more accept myself the way i am This year i told my sisters about my feelings, i kept them hidden in the closet. It was another relief for me. Maybe i offend people because this is mostly written from my point of view, i can only reflect from myself I hope that everybody will find his place in life. with, respect, warmth and love, Sincerely, Silvester

darkinshadows -> RE: How about your B.D.S.M. feelings? (8/20/2005 3:38:11 PM)
quote: Though now I'm curious - has anyone ever known/seen disabled lifestylers (c.f. blind, deaf, missing limbs, wheelchair-bound)? Yes I do and I have. I also believe that someone on this site had opened a online and realtime 'group' for people with disabilities. I think you will find it in the appropriate forum. I hope it went well. Peace and Love

pinkpleasures -> RE: How about your B.D.S.M. feelings? (8/20/2005 7:14:40 PM)
quote: Maybe i offend people because this is mostly written from my point of view, i can only reflect from myself. loveandhonesty i do not think people are ever actually offended here; it's a message board. There will be some who may feel things "should" be done a certain way and express themselves that way. However, your voice carries just as well with and without a Greek chorus singing along. pinkpleasures

IronBear -> RE: How about your B.D.S.M. feelings? (8/20/2005 9:45:53 PM)
quote: Though now I'm curious - has anyone ever known/seen disabled lifestylers (c.f. blind, deaf, missing limbs, wheelchair-bound)? Certainly! I'm disabled because I use a stick due to osteoarthritis in my left knee and at times need the use of a wheelchair in shopping malls etc. He: "Be gentle with me trik! I'm an aging, frail, cantackerous Bear..." From a full karta she looks up at her Master "Yes Vanashae." <chortles and bounces to her toes.> "Run trik run!" <leaps out iof the wheel chair and swinging a flogger and carrying handcufs, hobbling, chases her about the yard.......

MsPurrmeow -> RE: How about your B.D.S.M. feelings? (8/21/2005 1:19:37 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Veav Though now I'm curious - has anyone ever known/seen disabled lifestylers (c.f. blind, deaf, missing limbs, wheelchair-bound)? I've spent a good portion of the last five years in a wheelchair, on crutches, or walking with a cane (Things are looking up, that's why it's hard to stop when I CAN be moving.) The lifestyle aspects of my life have only improved during these stages. Most of the kink communities I'm around are acommodating, or at least, not exclusive. Most in this area and the West coast make at least a minimal effort to have wheelchair access for event locations. There hasn't been a Kinkfest yet that hasn't had people in wheelchairs, or deaf folks with interpreters, or even a blind person in attendance. It doesn't seem to stop anyone. I've played more than once in a wheelchair. (Yeah, it's a whole new style of flogging, believe me.) Most people seem to see it as a fun challenge rather than a negative. As for the non-play aspect, I've found that my "differently-abled" times have greatly fueled my passions for the D/s. One of my greatest challenges is allowing others to serve me without being actively involved. Because I was unable to prevent it at times, I feel it was a blessing to learn HOW to be taken care of. I'm not sure I would have been able to consciously let go under other conditions. I now have that experience, and it has changed the way I see my role and my relationships. BDSM, for me, is more about what's in my head and what is in my partners head. Sometimes maneuvering around physical constraints gives us a whoel new perspective on what is in our own heads, and what is really important in life. Purr (besides, being in a wheelchair gave me the chance to have cute girlies sit in my lap a lot more.)

pinkpleasures -> RE: How about your B.D.S.M. feelings? (8/21/2005 4:46:55 AM)
quote: Certainly! I'm disabled because I use a stick due to osteoarthritis in my left knee and at times need the use of a wheelchair in shopping malls etc. IronBear It's the Man..His Character..His experience...His wit...not the hard body of a 20 year old. That's what i seek and i'll be damned if these Men are not all taken as far as my search has revealed so far. However, such Men make wonderful friends, so i do not begrudge the length of my search. pinkpleasures

NakedOnMyChain -> RE: How about your B.D.S.M. feelings? (8/21/2005 6:47:47 AM)
Starting a relationship when you're older has absolutely no bearing on whether it's real or not. If it feels real, usually it is. If your relationship lasts so long that you're dom/me can't hold the whip anymore from old age, you have more serious problems than that. At that point, I'd recommend spending as much time with them as possible and generally enjoying their presence while you still can. When both parties lead a full life, that's when you set aside time for each other, or possibly just use the precious and few quiet minutes of every day seeking out a rewarding, if quick, experience. It's not impossible to make it work, even if both parties are busy. Furthermore, a dom/me should not necessarily expect their sub to "wait all day" for a little bit of play, especially if the sub has a busy life outside of BDSM. My advice is to go about your day, look forward to your playtime, but don't antagonize yourself over it. Be grateful for the time you will eventually get to spend with your dom/me. I think many of us are, if not enslaved, at least submissive to our desires, or else we quite possibly wouldn't be subs. And how much pain a person enjoys or can take varies for every single person.

IronBear -> RE: How about your B.D.S.M. feelings? (8/21/2005 7:02:54 AM)
quote: It's the Man..His Character..His experience...His wit...not the hard body of a 20 year old. That's what i seek and i'll be damned if these Men are not all taken as far as my search has revealed so far. However, such Men make wonderful friends, so i do not begrudge the length of my search. pinkpleasures [image]local://upfiles/131423/70855C541182444CAD427531D5D8A4B6.jpg[/image]

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