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Sub M Looking - Advice Appreciated - 7/7/2004 3:26:44 PM

Posts: 1
Joined: 7/7/2004
Status: offline

Hi:

I am a novice M sub seeking a domme f or dom cpl to serve
Any advide on finding someone compatible is appreciated.

I have some experience as a dom to a sub f galpal. Nothing too hardcore, basically light spanking, flogging, restraints, toys, clamps, humiliation, and roleplaying fantasies.

I did submit once to a pro domme and thought it was an exciting experience.

I think it is exciting to be under the control of another, and to have someone push limits.

I am pretty open minded and willing to explore almost anything, there are a few things I am sure I will not be into, however; when that time comes they will be addressed.

Thanks - Brett

RE: Sub M Looking - Advice Appreciated - 7/7/2004 6:30:39 PM

Posts: 1633
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

First be ready to be confounded.

If ten Domme/Domina/FemDom/etc. reply you will get ten different, sometimes conflicting, answers.

They are all right except those that are wrong.

_____________________________

When the Lady smiles i can't resist her call. As a matter of fact, i don't resist at all. Well that depends if it is a smile or a grimmace.

(in reply to SubCuriousM)

RE: Sub M Looking - Advice Appreciated - 7/7/2004 7:16:04 PM

Posts: 9383
Joined: 4/26/2004
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quote:

They are all right except those that are wrong.

I try to indicate at the bottom of every post that I am wrong.

Saves time for anybody slogging through my mindless drivel.

Sinergy

_____________________________

"There is a fine line between clever and stupid"
David St. Hubbins "This Is Spinal Tap"

"Every so often you let a word or phrase out and you want to catch it and bring it back. You cant do that, it is gone, gone forever." J. Danforth Quayle

(in reply to iwillserveu)

RE: Sub M Looking - Advice Appreciated - 7/8/2004 5:12:27 PM

MistressZanthia

Posts: 88
Joined: 7/2/2004
From: Seattle, Washington, USA
Status: offline

I am going to suggest you pop over to the "Ask A Mistress" area... there's a thread which covers this, advice for submissive males...

Good luck,

_____________________________

~*Zan*~
www.zanthia.com

(in reply to SubCuriousM)

RE: Sub M Looking - Advice Appreciated - 7/8/2004 5:30:46 PM

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Joined: 7/5/2004
Status: offline

My first question to you is - how much of your leasure time are you willing to committ to this? I don't just mean to a relationship, but to preparing yourself to be the best you can be for a future partner? There is no right or wrong answer here, but responses will vary based on your time committments. I would suggest some good books, if you're willing and able.
N

(in reply to SubCuriousM)

RE: Sub M Looking - Advice Appreciated - 7/8/2004 9:22:34 PM

Posts: 9383
Joined: 4/26/2004
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Apologies to the Mistresses on this thread, but I wanted to throw in my $0.02 cents on this one.

quote:

I am a novice M sub seeking a domme f or dom cpl to serve
Any advide on finding someone compatible is appreciated.

I have some experience as a dom to a sub f galpal. Nothing too hardcore, basically light spanking, flogging, restraints, toys, clamps, humiliation, and roleplaying fantasies.

I did submit once to a pro domme and thought it was an exciting experience.

I think it is exciting to be under the control of another, and to have someone push limits.

I am pretty open minded and willing to explore almost anything, there are a few things I am sure I will not be into, however; when that time comes they will be addressed.

Reading this post, I am left wondering why I (as a Dominant) would be interested in having you as a submissive. Nothing in this post gives me any indication that serving ME is high on your list, it is all about what you find exciting, willing to explore, etc.

In other words, I get the sense that your approach to submission is that it is all about you. Well, I am not interested in discussing why I dominate my submissive, but I am pretty sure that it is not all about what she wants.

I get what I need, and she gets what she needs, but I dont read anything in your post that states you are willing to give to your Domme what she needs, or that you really have much interest in finding out what it is that she needs.

Just me, could be wrong, but there you go.

Sinergy

_____________________________

"There is a fine line between clever and stupid"
David St. Hubbins "This Is Spinal Tap"

"Every so often you let a word or phrase out and you want to catch it and bring it back. You cant do that, it is gone, gone forever." J. Danforth Quayle

(in reply to Spankinatrix)

RE: Sub M Looking - Advice Appreciated - 7/9/2004 1:25:32 AM

MistressZanthia

Posts: 88
Joined: 7/2/2004
From: Seattle, Washington, USA
Status: offline

Synergy, you hit that nail straight on the head.

<insert sarcasm> I just adore "do me" subs". <end sarcasm> Seems the world is full of them though.

_____________________________

~*Zan*~
www.zanthia.com

(in reply to Sinergy)

RE: Sub M Looking - Advice Appreciated - 7/9/2004 7:35:53 AM

Laura

Posts: 573
Joined: 6/22/2004
From: Ontario, Canada
Status: offline

I tend to think it's a guy thing. There are 'do me' Doms too. Generally, women are looking for more than sex, men aren't.

_____________________________

Bait & Switch - Adult column

(in reply to MistressZanthia)

RE: Sub M Looking - Advice Appreciated - 7/9/2004 6:53:53 PM

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Joined: 6/26/2004
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men are not??, well i am an exeption to the rule, dont get me wrong sex is wonderfull and a great way to ultimatly show ones "care", but there is nothing better in my world then a relationship based on communication, trust etc.... You get my point. i just get so upset with the perception that all males are in this for one thing, it makes it so damm hard to find a real connection. i have been searching for less then a year, i have met a few nice people, but again here i sit?? This is not the only venue i use, (fyi)

-d-

(in reply to SubCuriousM)

RE: Sub M Looking - Advice Appreciated - 7/9/2004 7:10:15 PM

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Joined: 4/26/2004
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quote:

I tend to think it's a guy thing. There are 'do me' Doms too. Generally, women are looking for more than sex, men aren't.

Of course, I have this idea that for me, sex and BDSM are something I want to have in a committed relationship. I have accepted the fact that I am serial monogamist.

And yet, I have two testicles.

Should I get a sex change?

Sinergy

_____________________________

"There is a fine line between clever and stupid"
David St. Hubbins "This Is Spinal Tap"

"Every so often you let a word or phrase out and you want to catch it and bring it back. You cant do that, it is gone, gone forever." J. Danforth Quayle

(in reply to crinkelbutt)

RE: Sub M Looking - Advice Appreciated - 7/9/2004 8:10:16 PM

Posts: 843
Joined: 6/2/2004
Status: offline

i can understand why the perception exists that most males are "Do me" subs. Just look at the photos on Alt.com...almost all of them are a photo of an erection. Paradoxical as it may seem, i've always been struck by the lack of awareness most males exhibit even though i too, am a male. i've always attributed this sensitivity to the fact that i grew up with 6 sisters and my mother (my father was rarely home). i also never bought into the macho image most males display but don't get me wrong...i'm also not effeminate. But i digress.

The only reasonable explanation i can offer as far as submissive males are concerned is they may be new to the concept and still saturated with the stereotypical image that a Domme is a fearsome Woman decked out in leather and heels, wielding a long whip or crop, and looking for a penis to punish or play with. It's truly a shame and i may be wrong but this does seem to be the problem. It would be wonderful if there were some way the males could be educated about what this lifestyle is about prior to contacting a Domme.

anthrosub

_____________________________

"It is easier to fool people than it is to convince them they have been fooled." - Mark Twain

"I am not young enough to know everything." - Oscar Wilde

(in reply to Sinergy)

RE: Sub M Looking - Advice Appreciated - 7/17/2004 7:48:31 PM

Posts: 378
Joined: 7/3/2004
Status: offline

Brett-
I am a "newbie" sub and although I am female, I have some basic thoughts on advice for you because I myself posted a question similar to yours. I think that your questions and statements were valid and I think that some of most important things I can say to you are-
Communicate and Be Honest. Decide exactly what you're looking for in a particular relationship. Educate yourself. There are plenty of books and websites out there. Get involved somwhere. Even in these forums. Don't be afraid to speak up and ask questions and learn.
IMNSHO
Berlin

(in reply to SubCuriousM)

RE: Sub M Looking - Advice Appreciated - 7/18/2004 5:15:06 AM

Posts: 1633
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

I've often heard that I should present a different face to attract women. (Domme/sub etc. comes after the "relationship".) You will hear that too.

I don't recommend farting on the first date, but holding your farts for forty years is painful. If a woman falls in love with an act, she will be disappointed when you drop the act. (Love or whatever.)

The only advice I can give you is be yourself. (Before I get reamed by anyone, who's advice should I give?)

_____________________________

When the Lady smiles i can't resist her call. As a matter of fact, i don't resist at all. Well that depends if it is a smile or a grimmace.

(in reply to SubCuriousM)

RE: Sub M Looking - Advice Appreciated - 7/19/2004 6:29:45 AM

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Joined: 7/3/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: iwillserveu

The only advice I can give you is be yourself. (Before I get reamed by anyone, who's advice should I give?)

iwill-
I've found that, in a pinch, any advice given by the Dali Lama or Douglas Adams will work.
As Always
B

(in reply to iwillserveu)

RE: Sub M Looking - Advice Appreciated - 7/19/2004 8:53:07 AM

Laura

Posts: 573
Joined: 6/22/2004
From: Ontario, Canada
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Sinergy

Of course, I have this idea that for me, sex and BDSM are something I want to have in a committed relationship. I have accepted the fact that I am serial monogamist.

Sinergy

I said generally, cause I do believe you and others actually are looking for more. However the fact is that of all the men I have contacted or been contacted by on this site (in the interest of looking for someone not strictly chatting) all of them have been some version of a 'do me'. You have nothing to get uppity about, the facts speak louder than even you.

< Message edited by Laura -- 7/19/2004 8:56:59 AM >

_____________________________

Bait & Switch - Adult column

(in reply to Sinergy)

RE: Sub M Looking - Advice Appreciated - 7/19/2004 9:21:10 AM

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Joined: 4/26/2004
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quote:

I've found that, in a pinch, any advice given by [snip] Douglas Adams will work.

*swoon*

Sinergy

_____________________________

"There is a fine line between clever and stupid"
David St. Hubbins "This Is Spinal Tap"

"Every so often you let a word or phrase out and you want to catch it and bring it back. You cant do that, it is gone, gone forever." J. Danforth Quayle

(in reply to Laura)

RE: Sub M Looking - Advice Appreciated - 7/19/2004 10:44:02 AM

Posts: 378
Joined: 7/3/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Sinergy

quote:

I've found that, in a pinch, any advice given by [snip] Douglas Adams will work.

*swoon*

Sinergy

HEY!! What's up with snipping the Dali Lama!?
As Always
B

(in reply to Sinergy)

RE: Sub M Looking - Advice Appreciated - 7/20/2004 12:07:51 AM

Posts: 765
Joined: 5/10/2004
From: New Castle, PA
Status: offline

quote:

HEY!! What's up with snipping the Dali Lama!?

M. Berlin

I am sure he meant no disrepect to the Dalai Lama (since he has stated he practices Zen and Tao), but was just so overcome with emotion that someone else thinks Douglas Adams advice is a good thing (him having quoted D.A. on numerous occasions) and wanted to point out the particular part of your quote that caused the (no doubt kilted and domly) *swoon*

at least that is the way I took Sinergy's post to mean

Apply usual caveats here

(edited for spelling correction)

< Message edited by Thanatosian -- 7/20/2004 12:09:15 AM >

_____________________________

Apply Usual Caveats Here

An expert is somone who has made all the mistakes there are to be made

(in reply to MzBerlin)

RE: Sub M Looking - Advice Appreciated - 7/20/2004 11:07:11 AM

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Joined: 7/3/2004
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Thana and Sin-
Y'all crack me up!!
As Always
(reporting from my Pan-Galactic Gargle Blaster **yes, that's really my computers' name!**)
Berlin

(in reply to Thanatosian)

RE: Sub M Looking - Advice Appreciated - 7/20/2004 11:47:15 AM

Posts: 9383
Joined: 4/26/2004
Status: offline

quote:

I am sure he meant no disrepect to the Dalai Lama (since he has stated he practices Zen and Tao), but was just so overcome with emotion that someone else thinks Douglas Adams advice is a good thing (him having quoted D.A. on numerous occasions) and wanted to point out the particular part of your quote that caused the (no doubt kilted and domly) *swoon*

at least that is the way I took Sinergy's post to mean

Bang on correct, Thanatosian.

Sinergy

p.s. I was the caddy for the Dalai Lama, and he told me that instead of a tip
that I would achieve total consciousness on my deathbed.

So I have that going for me.

_____________________________

"There is a fine line between clever and stupid"
David St. Hubbins "This Is Spinal Tap"

"Every so often you let a word or phrase out and you want to catch it and bring it back. You cant do that, it is gone, gone forever." J. Danforth Quayle

(in reply to MzBerlin)

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