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Human Connection - 7/7/2004 4:57:42 PM

Sinergy

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I once read a post on a different message board about what sense (sight, hearing, etc) one would give up if forced to. One of the posters said they would rather lose sight because losing hearing would cause them to lose connection to other human beings.

I was just sitting in the hot tub at my apartment complex with 9 deaf-mute people having a vigorous conversation in sign language, which I dont understand. But the standard boundaries which regulate polite society, no touching without permission, as well as the non-verbal physical cues were significantly different.

If one wanted to speak to another they would politely and almost tenderly tug a bit of hair, the other would turn around and smile, and the conversation would go. The people gazed directly and kindly into each other's eyes.

To wrap it all up, I have seldom seen communications between people that had such a sense of deep connection between them.

Any comments?

Sinergy

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RE: Human Connection - 7/7/2004 6:59:40 PM

feline

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quote:

The people gazed directly and kindly into each other's eyes.

Ok, this sentance brings up a question. If they are signing to each other, how can they be gazing "directly and kindly" into each others eyes and still know what each other is saying???

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RE: Human Connection - 7/7/2004 7:12:06 PM

dixiedumpling

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As the spouse of someone who is completely deaf in one ear and has 60%hearing in the other, i can tell you he feels cut off from the "normal" world. If he gets somewhere there are a lot of hard surfaces, he can't hear for the echos. Hearing aids amplify EVERYTHING, not just people's voices. Sign language is great for the profoundly deaf. BUT, just a few people know it. They are still, by and large, cut off. I know two people who know sign language.

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RE: Human Connection - 7/8/2004 4:56:40 AM

Thanatosian

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this topic touches on where I work - I am a relay operator - I relay telephone conversations between those who may have hearing and/or speech loss and those who can hear and speak

there are days when I (and all my co workers) want to scream in frustration - businesses that we call are rude, obnoxious, and/or uncaring - or they think it is a telemarketing call and just hang up - and not just, say, pizza joints or department stores, but also doctors offices, hospitals, and believe it or not audiologist offices.

I was fortunate in that before I started this job, I had been on the receiving end of relay calls at my former job with Domino's Pizza - and yes the first time was a bit confusing, but then I made sure that everyone who worked in the store knew that this type of call could come in and how to handle it - which, unfortunately, it does not seem many people in businesses do.

And, as dixiedumpling pointed out, there are few who know sign language, so even going to these businesses in person is not much of an improvement, since they are unlikely to have someone on staff who knows ASL (American Sign Language - sort of the standard here in the states)

guess my point is that the Deaf are, in fact, pretty much cut off from the rest of society - even though great strides have been made to change that fact - from closed captioning (not really accurate - they dont usually type word for word the dialogue) to relay service (we are required to type verbatim) to text messaging pagers, etc.

enough ranting for one day

Apply usual caveats here

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RE: Human Connection - 7/8/2004 6:24:52 PM

iwillserveu

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If I must lose a sense let it be taste. Bitter, sweet, salty, and what is the other one again. Anyway they are all over rated if you ask me.

Hey if I lose two can I be out of my senses?

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RE: Human Connection - 7/8/2004 6:45:01 PM

LadyBeckett

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I have congenital deafness of the left ear, and 40% hearing in my right ear. I did not realize that I was hearing impaired until I was 35 years old and did a project for General Dynamics Corp. They are a government contractor, therefore I had to undergo a barrage of tests prior to beginning this project, which included medical, visual, and audio. The tester realized that I didn't realize I was hearing impaired when he became aware that I was not responding to sound, but to his body language.

I called my Mother and I said, "Mama, you won't believe this, but I was born deaf in my left ear!!!" lol And she said she knew. Of course I asked her why she didn't share this information with me. She said it was because she didn't want to "handicap" me. Interesting!

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RE: Human Connection - 7/8/2004 7:25:52 PM

Estring

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iwill, I thought your sense of taste was gone already.

Being a musician, I would have to choose loss of sight over hearing.

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RE: Human Connection - 7/10/2004 10:19:35 PM

Sundew02

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In a group of hearing impaired individuals, I will agree with Sinergy. Having been in rooms full of visually challenged, and hearing impaired individuals among each group they communicated and relaxed. It is only among the uncaring "perfect" sensewise that there is a problem. Years ago as a college student I saw a visually challenged man trying to direct his dog, both he and the dog were becoming very upset. All around me students gapped at him, no one getting up to ask if they could help. I walked over and just said HI. The man immediately relaxed and said "hi, can you tell me where I am in the student union?" I did and he explained his dog must have come in the wrong door and would I let him touch me so I could guide him to the lounge. I did and he went on his way. No matter which sense you lose, it is more of a handicap than it should be simply because others make it so. As for me personally, I love music and the sounds of life way too much to give it up. And there is much much more available for a blind person than a deaf one, as the world views them as less handicapped. Not true, but then who said life was fair? Tess

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RE: Human Connection - 7/10/2004 11:15:07 PM

Estring

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What's with this romanticizing of handicapped people? You don't think there are jerks who are blind or deaf? I don't think being blind or deaf has anything to do with what kind of person you are.
A good example of that is the deaf parents who refuse the coclear implants for their children. They would let their kids stay deaf because of some misguided idea that being deaf is somehow noble.

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RE: Human Connection - 7/10/2004 11:30:02 PM

Sundew02

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Well, there are A-holes in every walk of life. But I don't see the point of focusing on the few, when like any other community of people more are good than bad. I have never yet walked into a room and found that everyone was a "sweetheart". So if an A-hole is blind or deaf then she/he doesn't deserve the same access to lifes little extras that a sweet, nice person does? Tess

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RE: Human Connection - 7/11/2004 7:23:07 AM

Thanatosian

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quote:

A good example of that is the deaf parents who refuse the coclear implants for their children. They would let their kids stay deaf because of some misguided idea that being deaf is somehow noble.

not necessarily noble, but (some of) the deaf community does see getting a cochlear implant as 'denying' ones deafness - sort of being a 'traitor' to the deaf community to join the hearing

I have heard arguments from both sides of this -- kids bitching because the parents would not get them the implant, and other kids bitching because their parents 'forced' the decision on them/made the decision for them.

as in all aspects of human life, you get all sorts of personalities irregardless of whether one is handicapped in any way or not

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RE: Human Connection - 7/11/2004 7:25:47 AM

iwillserveu

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Note: tell LadyBecket what for in her left ear.

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RE: Human Connection - 7/11/2004 7:34:43 AM

iwillserveu

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If I may jump in to the student union thing. (like I'd stay out if you said, "you may not"

)

Not all the students were assholes. I can't count the number of times I've been told that helping someone who is not asking for hel is rude. I remember PSA's with a wheelchair bound guy going over curbs but in one scene a samaratin "helps" him and he gracefully accepts her help with slumpt shoulders. Then he turns to the camera and says "If I need help I'll ask for it, otherwise don't force it on me." I'm sure some of those stundents saw something similar.

Did the blind man ask for help?

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When the Lady smiles i can't resist her call. As a matter of fact, i don't resist at all. Well that depends if it is a smile or a grimmace.

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RE: Human Connection - 7/11/2004 11:14:54 AM

Estring

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I guess I can understand a hadicapped person feeling belittled by unwanted help. It is a tough thing exactly because most people naturally would want to help.
I don't know why, but that quote from the PSA reminded me of one of my favorite movie quotes. It was Chuck Norris telling a bad guy, " If I want your opinion, I'll beat it out of you".

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