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Who has the power? - 12/30/2007 1:07:14 PM

ligar59

Posts: 55
Joined: 9/11/2005
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I'll be the first to admit I don't understand the switch dynamic as it relates to long term relationships. What happens when you both wake up wanting to be the Dom or the sub??

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RE: Who has the power? - 12/30/2007 1:47:19 PM

unforegvn

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I think they call that an off day.

(in reply to ligar59)

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RE: Who has the power? - 12/30/2007 3:29:28 PM

Suleiman

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In my house we usually dice for it - highest roll wins.

_____________________________

Think of my verbosity as a sort of litmus test for our relationship. I write in a manner identical to how I speak and how I think. If you can not cope with what I have written here, it is probably for the best if we go our separate ways.

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RE: Who has the power? - 12/30/2007 6:39:09 PM

laurell3

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Well the same thing that happens when you wake up and want a blow job and she's not feeling well. You talk about it and work it out. It's not a mystery. Switches have the same communication skills or lack thereof of everyone else.

_____________________________

I cannot be defined by moments in my life, but must be considered for by the entirety of my existence.

When you fail to consider that I am the best judge for what is right for me, all of your opinions become suspect to me.

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RE: Who has the power? - 12/30/2007 6:50:46 PM

Suleiman

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quote:

ORIGINAL: laurell3

Well the same thing that happens when you wake up and want a blow job and she's not feeling well. You talk about it and work it out. It's not a mystery. Switches have the same communication skills or lack thereof of everyone else.

Amen to that, sister.

_____________________________

Think of my verbosity as a sort of litmus test for our relationship. I write in a manner identical to how I speak and how I think. If you can not cope with what I have written here, it is probably for the best if we go our separate ways.

(in reply to laurell3)

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RE: Who has the power? - 12/30/2007 8:06:01 PM

liketophoto

Posts: 763
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Feeding off the other by instinct.
Radar Love.

It is a good question to ponder...
I have not had a LTR with another switch yet.
Perhaps someday.
Respectfully, LTP

(in reply to ligar59)

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RE: Who has the power? - 12/31/2007 4:13:23 AM

HouseofPhoenix

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Joined: 9/24/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: ligar59

I'll be the first to admit I don't understand the switch dynamic as it relates to long term relationships. What happens when you both wake up wanting to be the Dom or the sub??

I personally think that there is always one in the relationship who is the stronger Dominant personality. I know that with Master and I he is the one who makes all the final decisions. Do I consider myself a switch............I don't know right now. I do know that I am exploring that side of my personality as we will be having slaves coming to live in our household and it will be my responsiblity to oversee them and make sure that things run smoothly or it will be my butt in the ringer and I surely don't want that. I'm all for keeping them in line (which makes me the Dom/alpha sub whichever you choose) and cracking the whip to make sure of it. So what does that really make me????? Stay tuned for updates LOL
linda
HouseofPhoenix.net

(in reply to ligar59)

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RE: Who has the power? - 12/31/2007 6:51:56 AM

SlavesSoul

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Joined: 8/20/2006
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In my previous relationship, it just wasn't an issue. He was the more Dominant personality, I was the more submissive.

If he wanted to top, or bottom...I was usually happy to do the other. He was more often in top space, so I enjoyed the times he bottomed to me. He was not a maso, so he bottomed to the more erotic types of play, and sometimes that would still feel like serving him.

In another relationship with a switch, we would sort of play wrestle for it at times. If we didn't mesh one day, no big deal, we would on another. We also co-topped other people , or could bottom to others. Within my friendships, I have several casual play partners. This was just never an issue.

k

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RE: Who has the power? - 12/31/2007 1:50:48 PM

LadyLynx

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ummm I love the idea of 'mock fighting' scoring 'hits' off each other, can imagine that leading to some pretty hot fucking

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Our community maybe openminded as a whole, but it is still made up of individuals who bring in their own opinions,baggage and agendas!

Known as SwitchWitch in my local community,and on IRC Bondage.

I also go by the nic SwitchWitch on MDS.

(in reply to SlavesSoul)

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RE: Who has the power? - 1/1/2008 5:06:01 PM

G30

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In one previous relationship we would draw our duelling butterknives and have at each other, all the while screaming, "There can be only One!"

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RE: Who has the power? - 1/1/2008 8:47:53 PM

TheInstrument

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Joined: 9/8/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: G30

In one previous relationship we would draw our duelling butterknives and have at each other, all the while screaming, "There can be only One!"

Would the winner inherit the loser's BDSM knowledge in a storm of electricity and magic?

(in reply to G30)

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RE: Who has the power? - 1/2/2008 4:39:44 PM

oliderid

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Well I don't know for those you life a true BDSM lifestyle (I don't want it). But when you take BDSM as a fun game, I see no problem.
I have experience only one true switch relationship and I miss it. It was quite exciting :-), when the play starts, there is a silent fight going on. Both tries their best trick to be at the top. The more you know your partner, the more you will know her/his weak point. Sometimes you loose (gracefully), sometimes you win (delicious).

(in reply to TheInstrument)

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RE: Who has the power? - 1/2/2008 8:35:34 PM

G30

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<Would the winner inherit the loser's BDSM knowledge in a storm of electricity and magic? >

Well yes, but more importantly, the winner gets to apply said knowledge on the loser for the rest of the day.

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RE: Who has the power? - 1/2/2008 9:44:51 PM

sweetsyn

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Who has the power? Being a bi switch I have always tried or ended up keeping things very seperate. In the presence of someone that I consider my Dominant I am a sub. When I am the Domme then they are sub. I have never been with another switch. I often wonder if that would lead to insanity. Being bi and a switch also makes me wonder if I could every find true hapiness with only one other. I think at least two would be needed. My greatest desire is to serve a Dominant male and have a sub female to serve me. I have yet to find happiness without both needs being addressed.

(in reply to G30)

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RE: Who has the power? - 1/3/2008 5:08:40 AM

ViceVersa

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We play bondage poker. The winner has the option to top or bottom. By the way, the hands get progressively slower as the bondage increases.

Vice

(in reply to sweetsyn)

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RE: Who has the power? - 1/3/2008 5:59:27 AM

tied2it

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Joined: 12/21/2007
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I think it was said already ,but if your both not a switch then there is no issue you top or bottom to the one your with .I think if your both switches than life could prove to be very intresting to say the least ...best of both worlds type thing and pay backs can be a bitch...lol

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RE: Who has the power? - 1/14/2008 8:21:53 AM

vampiresscammy

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whomevers hunger is stronger would win in my experience, my bf are both switches, its come up, we let the one who wants to be in top or bottom mode more strongly decide how we play, and when all else fails just get nekkid, start wiggling, grabbing, kissing, licking and sucking nad it should work itself out!!

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RE: Who has the power? - 1/16/2008 3:15:18 AM

MissOchistic

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SAMURAI FIGHT TO THE DEATH

It's the only way.

_____________________________

"The amount i care for Thee
is more than two, but less than three."

"Submission is a potlatch."

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RE: Who has the power? - 1/16/2008 11:26:02 PM

literaryfairy

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Joined: 1/13/2008
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In my experience:

"Bend over, baby. I wanna make you pant like Pavlov's dog."
"Meh."

So... It depends on the energy of the house that night. I guess. Sometimes it's just easier to roll over and take it than it is to argue ;]

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RE: Who has the power? - 1/17/2008 4:39:27 PM

Parataxis

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Plus there's always the delicious (but sadly rare) notion of switch scenes. Lovely fun mindfuck, those. =)

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