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Padriag -> RE: Traditional vs Contemporary Domination (1/2/2008 12:41:12 PM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: LotusSong
I am SO glad to hear that. Because groups that have a structure and represent themselves with dignity are the ones society pays attention to. They can EXPLAIN themselves. But then, it's the outer fring tag-alongs that draw the negative attention. It's SO much easier to point a finger at someone else as the probelm, no? (remember, when one points a finger, there are 3 pointing back at them)
No... they aren't the ones society pays attention too. They pay attention to the outlandish, which is why you're upset and Jerry Springer's ratings are higher than Oprah's. If what you just said was really true, you'd have no argument at all because heck... society would be paying attention to those fine upstanding representatives of whatever it is you believe and all that outlandish stuff wouldn't matter because they wouldn't be getting a single headline. But the reality isn't that at all, its those upstarts, those tag alongs as you call them... those... dare I say... freaks... who don't know how things are supposed to be done... why they're the problem. What was that you were saying about pointing fingers? What makes them any less valid than you? Do you have some special pedigree?
That's the thing you don't seem to see about your posts, that offensive stench of elitism. And that's where you and I are absolute opposites.
quote:
Everyone lives in a box. whether it's a defined box or one of ambiguity.
For those that know me, part of my charm is my "certainty" :)
Yes, we may all live in a box... but we choose the box, whether that is one of our own making or joining someone else's box. No one has the right to force their box on someone else, and that is precisely what you have suggested doing.
All that asside, I'll point out something else. The whole concept of "lifestyle" rules, of some uniform code for all kinksters or anyone identifying as involved in BDSM... will simply never happen. Wish for it all you want, but there simply isn't any possibility at this time for that to happen. The reason why, for any who think about it, is rather simple... there is no governing body with the authority to do so.
- See. for rules to exist, there have to be rule makers. We don't have any rule makers as a "community", in fact we're rather rebellious about that.
- Even if we had rule makers (and some do try to be)... they have no authority. For the rules of the rule makers to work they have to have the authority to enforce them which comes from those governed. That brings us back to the fact we tend to be a rebellious and fractious lot who haven't consented to any such thing.
- Not only are there no rule makers, no authority to make rules, there's no one and no way to enforce them. You can have someone stand up and annouce a bunch of rules about how things should be (and we have had plenty in these forums attempt to do so) but there isn't squat they can do if the rest of us, any of us, decides to ignore them... well... they could rant, and we can ignore that too. Its not like any of us are going to get demerits or have our play privileges revoked if we don't follow "the one twue way" or someone elses rules.
- In short...beyond individual clubs and organizations which actually do have charters, governing bodies and membership requirements... and thus enforceable rules... this idea will simply never work.
My suggestion to anyone who doesn't like the way things are... whatever that may be... go form your own club, or join one that suits you... but stop bitching about what a nebulous, chaotic, ungoverned "community" does because its a waste of time. One might as well contend with the ocean.
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