Leonidas
Posts: 2078
Joined: 2/16/2004 Status: offline
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What you are talking about here is abstaining from baiting a dominant that you are talking to by trying to dominate them. There is a good deal of talk among submissives about submission being earned, and given only to those to whom they choose to submit. Unfortunately, some submissives believe that they need to be agressive, overbearing, bitchy, or whatever you want to call it to put the dominant on notice that they aren't submissive to them. This kind of behavior is approaching the bounds of common courtesy in the opposite direction. If the man or woman that you are talking to is a truly dominant wired, you will "butt heads" with them at best by behaving that way. If they are a dominant of some experience and maturity, they will probably just smile politely, and silently write you off as "one of those". The net effect is that you may alienate some people that were worth knowing before you ever get to know them. The truth is that if you interact with anyone for any length of time, one of you is going to "lead". If you observe closely, you will see that this is true even among groups of people at work, or among groups of friends that know absolutely nothing about D/s culture. It is subtle, and not as overt as some of the coarse, exaggerated protocols in the D/s community, but it is there. In any group of humans, there are always those who defer, and those who lead. If you have spoken with a "dominant" for any length of time, and you don't find yourself naturally deferring to them in the conversation, the fact is that they aren't more dominant than you are, no matter what they have chosen to call themselves. People who demand that you defer to them (as opposed to letting the dynamic naturally evolve) either don't really understand the nature of dominance, or they do, and are insecure about how dominant they actually are. There I go telling you how to build a watch when you only asked what time it was. Take care of yourself. Leonidas
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