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FTopinMichigan -> RE: Grrrrrr.... (8/27/2005 8:59:56 AM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: BostonGuy
4. A man or woman who will not give a phone number (which indicates a willingness to move to the next level of trust) so that the two of you may make plans to meet is likely either an internet-only individual and will not proceed to anything in real life, is married and truly unavailable, or has in some other way misled the other person.
BostonGuy, I agreed with much of what you posted, with the exception of the above section, that talked about an unwillingness to give out a private phone number.
Another possibility is that the person (such as myself [:D] ) that is not willing to give out their personal number, has done so, in the past, only to be stalked and harassed on the phone.
In my own experience(s), I can tell you about one incident, where I had a man that called repeatedly, minute after minute, hour after hour, ringing the home, as if I'd answer (or come home) during that time. He'd call, and if I wasn't up to talking to him, he would stay on the line and hold the phone line open.
If someone else would answer the phone, he would attempt to interrogate them to my whereabouts, and demanded to know other information. All of this was BEFORE we even went out on a simple date. (And this is a man that was introduced to me, by my ex, so it wasn't like it was an online, total stranger. You NEVER know who you are giving your number out to, online.)
My phone number is ONLY given out to people that I have had the pleasure of getting to know a bit.
I am usually more than open to meeting a man that corresponds, over a brief period of time, as long as he expresses himself with courtesy and can show a minimum amount of intelligence. Fakes and wankers are easily seen in the words they send.
If someone is not willing to allow the time to get to know one another via e-mail, and/or IM, then we're both wasting out time. Someone that pushes to meet, prior to any knowledge of one another, is usually either desperate or married (seeking an affair), in my experience. (lol...like the guys that ONLY want to meet for "lunch.") And if they're unwilling to converse via online chat, or unable (as so many cannot hold a conversation online, let alone in person), then again, we're both wasting our time. If a man doesn't have the confidence to talk about himself, or is unable to hold a conversation "online"...he surely won't be able to do so in person either, IMO.
While some of the things you expressed, as exactly like I feel, I also work not to generalize on "all" that exhibit this behavior as being the same. I do however, protect my own privacy, for obvious reasons.
K
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