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RE: To Munch, or Not to Munch? - 1/9/2008 12:26:07 PM   
Rover


Posts: 2634
Joined: 6/28/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: subtee

Seriously, certainly you can realize a benefit soley gained with interaction here (yes, friendships, fellowship, connection and edification) and the value that brings to some? Or does one have to attend other activities for it to be "real?" Help me understand, please. 


My point is that one cannot credibly claim that there is no benefit derived from socializing with other lifestylers at munches, and yet claim to derive the same benefit from socializing online.
 
John

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Profile   Post #: 41
RE: To Munch, or Not to Munch? - 1/9/2008 12:51:25 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: subtee

If you’ve attended, has it been positive? Do you encourage others to attend as well? In what ways has it been beneficial to you? 
 

Very positive, though I've really just attended gatherings that were designed to be play parties - so maybe this doesn't apply.  It allowed us make more friends, allows us to be in a social situation where we don't have to alter how our relationship works and talk about anything. It's like the boards except in real life.

People have been very respectful and very helpful to us. We've learned new things, been introduced to other areas of the local community.

My personal opinion is that there are different types of BDSM gatherings and it's easy to lump together. There are play parties where everyone does run around naked. Then there are play parties where it's more likely that everyone is going to keep their clothes on and sit around the table, talking about pretty normal stuff. It's all about finding the "scene" that works for you.

< Message edited by AquaticSub -- 1/9/2008 12:54:25 PM >

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Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

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Profile   Post #: 42
RE: To Munch, or Not to Munch? - 1/9/2008 12:54:31 PM   
sweetwenchie


Posts: 1993
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Sacramento, California
Status: offline 		i sooooo thought this was a far dirtier thread than it actually is   

_____________________________

"To make oneself an object, to make oneself passive, is a very different thing from being a passive object." - De Beauvoir

"You have your way. I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist." - Nietzsche

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Profile   Post #: 43
RE: To Munch, or Not to Munch? - 1/9/2008 12:56:19 PM   
Mercnbeth


Posts: 11766
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quote:

Perhaps it is a situation in which, for some of us at least, it would be better to first attend with someone significant and trusted, as you did with beth.


Going with someone is always more comforting and ideal, but its not always possible. The main point I was attempting to make is the point to treat going to a munch as you would treat seeing someone in person who you met on-line. Use the same safety standards and good judgment. Do what you can do to get yourself comfortable with going and don't go until you ARE comfortable.

A munch, by the most common definition, is held in a public place. I know of one who came to our munch early and watched the people going into our 'back room' and determined if they wanted to join us based upon the 'looks' of the people coming to attend. It made her feel comfortable. Other's have contacted the 'leaders' and asked to meet them early or chatted with them by phone first. The "do your homework" was a reference for you to do whatever it takes to have some comfort in walking through the door. Once there, you're relying on those in attendance to increase that comfort.

It doesn't always happen you know. Just like meeting individuals, meeting a group of individuals sometimes can be a bad experience. Or one individual can spoil the whole thing. The say there is a "seat for every ass". It's true in the macro, and here in the LA area there are a lot of seats to try out. Your choice of 'seats' may be more limited, but the potential of being comfortable is worth the attempt. You're getting away from the computer and reaching out to people. 

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Profile   Post #: 44
RE: To Munch, or Not to Munch? - 1/9/2008 1:08:51 PM   
subtee


Posts: 5133
Joined: 7/26/2007
Status: offline 		mhawk, thanks for your input. I can very much relate to this, as time is consistently in short supply for so many of us. The priorities on which we choose to focus that limited supply of time are part of the reason for my initial question. Is this primarliy a fun but casual undertaking? Do the benefits warrant spending the time?

Thanks again,

Tee

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Don't believe everything you think...

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Profile   Post #: 45
RE: To Munch, or Not to Munch? - 1/9/2008 1:10:27 PM   
subtee


Posts: 5133
Joined: 7/26/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MissHarlet

Now now ..everyone knows that us real Dommes are always dressed online .. now that its cold Im always online in my flannel corset and thighhighs .. they are of course a geeky plaid !!! <EG>


OK...~cough~ yummmmmmmmm

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Profile   Post #: 46
RE: To Munch, or Not to Munch? - 1/9/2008 1:19:55 PM   
ExSteelAgain


Posts: 1803
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Georgia
Status: offline 		Keep in mind, in a relatively small community you may run into negative, left field, people that will turn you off to the whole thing. I wasn't into Wiccan and that was the main theme I ran into although it was advertised as a general BDSM munch type thing. I was about to forget public get togethers of any name, forever. When I went to more cosmopolitan Atlanta for an event at a club with hundreds of people and met friends from online, it was an eye opening, positive experience.

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You can paint a cinder block bright pastel pink, but it's still a cinder block. (By Me.)

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Profile   Post #: 47
RE: To Munch, or Not to Munch? - 1/9/2008 1:20:00 PM   
KnOcala


Posts: 260
Joined: 12/19/2007
Status: offline 		I was just going to post a similar question. 
I've been to two very different munches.  Both met some really great people.  However in one, I was able to observe and learn a little that I was unfamiliar with.  Not much, just a little.  The other I didn't learn really anything new, just met new people. 

My question was going to be along the lines of workshops and fetish events.  Something I really want to learn to do well is using ropes.  I want to learn how to tie different knots, tie for submission and sex play.  I can read all I want and experimenting has been fair at best.  I have not been to a workshop/con but want to know if you learn or just see a demonstration.  Is it hands on?  I can watch all day but then turn around still not have it down.
Any events or workshops coming up in florida?


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Profile   Post #: 48
RE: To Munch, or Not to Munch? - 1/9/2008 1:26:53 PM   
subtee


Posts: 5133
Joined: 7/26/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Rover

quote:

ORIGINAL: subtee

Seriously, certainly you can realize a benefit soley gained with interaction here (yes, friendships, fellowship, connection and edification) and the value that brings to some? Or does one have to attend other activities for it to be "real?" Help me understand, please. 


My point is that one cannot credibly claim that there is no benefit derived from socializing with other lifestylers at munches, and yet claim to derive the same benefit from socializing online.
 
John


Sorry if this is a bit of horse-beating, but what if one is intimidated or very shy, like Aileen? Or averse to being ogled for their beautific, eye candy physical exterior instead of their rich, profound depth of character and intellect, like poor Domiguy? If it was perhaps, yes, admittedly hypothetically, that uncomfortable (in a way that online is not), do you think there would still be a benefit to attending munches?

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Don't believe everything you think...

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Profile   Post #: 49
RE: To Munch, or Not to Munch? - 1/9/2008 1:29:55 PM   
subtee


Posts: 5133
Joined: 7/26/2007
Status: offline 		Hey, AquaticSub, I think the scenarios you've experienced definitely apply. It sounds like you've got some great groups there.

Enjoy!

Tee

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Don't believe everything you think...

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Profile   Post #: 50
RE: To Munch, or Not to Munch? - 1/9/2008 1:31:36 PM   
subtee


Posts: 5133
Joined: 7/26/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sweetwenchie

i sooooo thought this was a far dirtier thread than it actually is   


Hahahaha! I'll try to come up with a post to make it up to you...maybe I'll start a "Forced Munch" thread...

Tee

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Don't believe everything you think...

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Profile   Post #: 51
RE: To Munch, or Not to Munch? - 1/9/2008 1:33:53 PM   
Coerced2Please


Posts: 47
Joined: 9/16/2007
Status: offline 		more munches, more play

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Profile   Post #: 52
RE: To Munch, or Not to Munch? - 1/9/2008 1:39:41 PM   
KnOcala


Posts: 260
Joined: 12/19/2007
Status: offline 		I do want to add.  I will go to additional munchs if only to meet more people with similar interests.  To network.


(in reply to Coerced2Please)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: To Munch, or Not to Munch? - 1/9/2008 1:42:59 PM   
subtee


Posts: 5133
Joined: 7/26/2007
Status: offline 		Hi again, Merc;

There may well be "a seat for [my] ass" here...

May I ask, have you ever attended munches in other locations, for example when traveling, etc.? If so, how would that experience compare?

Thank you,

Tee

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Don't believe everything you think...

(in reply to Mercnbeth)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: To Munch, or Not to Munch? - 1/9/2008 1:44:36 PM   
sweetwenchie


Posts: 1993
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Sacramento, California
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: subtee

quote:

ORIGINAL: sweetwenchie

i sooooo thought this was a far dirtier thread than it actually is   


Hahahaha! I'll try to come up with a post to make it up to you...maybe I'll start a "Forced Munch" thread...

Tee


lmao!   you are too kind      ~awaits that one anxiously~

_____________________________

"To make oneself an object, to make oneself passive, is a very different thing from being a passive object." - De Beauvoir

"You have your way. I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist." - Nietzsche

(in reply to subtee)
Profile   Post #: 55
RE: To Munch, or Not to Munch? - 1/9/2008 1:46:20 PM   
subtee


Posts: 5133
Joined: 7/26/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ExSteelAgain
When I went to more cosmopolitan Atlanta for an event at a club with hundreds of people and met friends from online, it was an eye opening, positive experience.


It would be very cool to meet friends from online...

Thanks Steel

_____________________________

Don't believe everything you think...

(in reply to ExSteelAgain)
Profile   Post #: 56
RE: To Munch, or Not to Munch? - 1/9/2008 1:50:24 PM   
KnOcala


Posts: 260
Joined: 12/19/2007
Status: offline 		I've been on the board for less then a month and have met several people that I have been talking to.  The majority at a local munch.  The other munch I attended was about 45 minutes away.  I would like to attend one in one of the bigger areas a couple hours away where there will be a much larger attendance.  Just hard for me to have a free weekend.  Or I would probably never be home.
get out there and meet people.  munches are safe.  Anyone there is known by others in the group so you can get a good feel for the people you are talking too.
First time is the hardest.

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Profile   Post #: 57
RE: To Munch, or Not to Munch? - 1/9/2008 1:52:11 PM   
subtee


Posts: 5133
Joined: 7/26/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KnOcala

My question was going to be along the lines of workshops and fetish events.  Something I really want to learn to do well is using ropes.  I want to learn how to tie different knots, tie for submission and sex play.  I can read all I want and experimenting has been fair at best.  I have not been to a workshop/con but want to know if you learn or just see a demonstration.  Is it hands on?  I can watch all day but then turn around still not have it down.
Any events or workshops coming up in florida?


Hey, KnOcala; I'd like to know how the workshops and other events compare as well. 

Are they "hands on?"

Empirical, experiential?

What is the tenor? (I sorta asked this before and I'm sure it varies, but are they more respectful and serious as opposed to social/scoping/hooking up-type events?)

Cool branch, thanks

Tee 

_____________________________

Don't believe everything you think...

(in reply to KnOcala)
Profile   Post #: 58
RE: To Munch, or Not to Munch? - 1/9/2008 1:56:58 PM   
KnOcala


Posts: 260
Joined: 12/19/2007
Status: offline 		now that I have attended munches, I'm looking to attend a fetish convention and hopeful some workshops.  Don't shy away from munches, just don't try to expect to much.  There are non threatening, friendly social gatherings.  They help to stay on contact with friends and introduce new folks to the lifestyle in a freindly manner.


(in reply to subtee)
Profile   Post #: 59
RE: To Munch, or Not to Munch? - 1/9/2008 2:02:18 PM   
subtee


Posts: 5133
Joined: 7/26/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Coerced2Please

more munches, more play


May I ask, do you mean within the context of you and a trusted partner or as "opportunities" present themselves at these venues?

Thanks Coerced!

Tee

_____________________________

Don't believe everything you think...

(in reply to Coerced2Please)
Profile   Post #: 60
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