RE: Is it a crime to be a switch?

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RE: Is it a crime to be a switch? - 1/15/2008 11:17:44 AM

oliderid

Posts: 63
Joined: 1/1/2008
Status: offline

You are just another specy, a specy that particularly enjoy both sadism and masochism...Or more softly Power exchange from any side. There are a lot of switches.

That's probably why I don't spend much time in my local BDSM scene (I haven't been there for...5 months?). and I only participate in events when I want to. Over the years I made my own network of friends. The common trait is that they don't take them too seriously. This is a wonderful passion, a wonderful hobby, a unique way of discovering yourself...But Life is much more than that.

Do not forget that a lot of people are looking for long-term relationship. They try to find "compatible" partners.

I share your point of view. Topping from the bottom or bottoming from the top...Are my biggest fantaisies. Losing or gaining power is extremely exciting. There are a lot of people who enjoy it. From experience, if you have difficulties to find the right partner. Subs tend to be a bit more "open" to topping from the bottom or the other way around. Dominant people fear losing control. (don't ask me why...Sadist smile ;-))

< Message edited by oliderid -- 1/15/2008 11:22:29 AM >

(in reply to KaylinSilverfurr)

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RE: Is it a crime to be a switch? - 1/15/2008 11:24:26 AM

xenboi

Posts: 17
Joined: 7/6/2007
Status: offline

I don't think it's a crime at all!

I have only one profile, currently in says 'sub' but in the past it has said switch. Granted it doesn't say much besides that, so I'll try to elaorate. Most of my experience is as a submissive, however in the past, I have thoroughly enjoyed assuming a dominant role. That would seem to logically classify me as a switch. The difficulty for me is I find it hard to be both dominant and submissive with the same partner. Once roles have been established, I don't know how to 'switch'.

Anyone else find that?

(in reply to KaylinSilverfurr)

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RE: Is it a crime to be a switch? - 1/15/2008 11:29:34 AM

KaylinSilverfurr

Posts: 74
Joined: 1/15/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: oliderid

You are just another specy, a specy that particularly enjoy both sadism and masochism...Or more softly Power exchange from any side. There are a lot of switches.

That's probably why I don't spend much time in my local BDSM scene (I haven't been there for...5 months?). and I only participate in events when I want to. Over the years I made my own network of friends. The common trait is that they don't take them too seriously. This is a wonderful passion, a wonderful hobby, a unique way of discovering yourself...But Life is much more than that.

Huzzah! Yes. Very well said in a way where I was at a loss for words. Thank you. And yes, I've spent pretty much the same sort of experience there. Participate when I want to, networking and so forth.

quote:

Do not forget that a lot of people are looking for long-term relationship. They try to find "compatible" partners.

Err, yeah, not so much my thing, really. Looking for people to connect with, but that's about it. Right now I'm not sure if I would ever want to have a 24/7 TPE "zomgmorebondageandplaythanyoucanshakeafistingat" relationship. Something like that definately requires alot of trust.

quote:

I share your point of view. Topping from the bottom or bottoming from the top...Are my biggest fantaisies. Losing or gaining power is extremely exciting. There are a lot of people who enjoy it. From experience, if you have difficulties to find the right partner. Subs tend to be a bit more "open" to topping from the bottom or the other way around. Dominant people fear losing control. (don't ask me why...Sadist laugh ;-))

Ah, yes, I have seen this. Most dominants I have come across (YMMV) fear the loss of control because it makes them seem a poor Dom(me). They're the ones that are supposed to be in control. They direct.

Anyway, thank you. You've helped to explain my point a little better. :)

~Kaylin

(in reply to oliderid)

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RE: Is it a crime to be a switch? - 1/15/2008 11:33:14 AM

KaylinSilverfurr

Posts: 74
Joined: 1/15/2008
Status: offline

Xenboi,

Yes, I have found that once "roles" are established, it's very hard to switch back and forth between the two. It can be done, granted, but for myself, there definately needs to be some discussion about it and how to go about setting the right mood for a switch to happen. My mood also tends to vary daily. One days it's a Raging Domme Queen who wants to do everything under the sun to her poor slaves, the next day it's wanting to be the sub wanting everything under the sun done to her.

~Kaylin

(in reply to xenboi)

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RE: Is it a crime to be a switch? - 1/15/2008 11:36:40 AM

lusciouslips19

Posts: 9792
Joined: 9/8/2007
Status: offline

Yes. It is a crime. You are under arrest. You need to be taken to lock up.

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RE: Is it a crime to be a switch? - 1/15/2008 12:47:55 PM

oliderid

Posts: 63
Joined: 1/1/2008
Status: offline

quote:

Err, yeah, not so much my thing, really. Looking for people to connect with, but that's about it. Right now I'm not sure if I would ever want to have a 24/7 TPE "zomgmorebondageandplaythanyoucanshakeafistingat" relationship. Something like that definately requires alot of trust.

lol zomhmorewhater :-))). I did it, it was the best time of life. But we were in harmony. Trust and also love...If you add love then you multiply each feeling. And of course, worth mentionning we didn't limit ourselves to BDSM. I still think that vanilla sex with a bottle of good red wine, an open fire and romantic evening are still the best way to strengthen your couple.

(in reply to KaylinSilverfurr)

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Post #: 26

RE: Is it a crime to be a switch? - 1/15/2008 1:04:45 PM

KaylinSilverfurr

Posts: 74
Joined: 1/15/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: oliderid

lol zomhmorewhater :-))). I did it, it was the best time of life. But we were in harmony. Trust and also love...If you add love then you multiply each feeling. And of course, worth mentionning we didn't limit ourselves to BDSM. I still think that vanilla sex with a bottle of good red wine, an open fire and romantic evening are still the best way to strengthen your couple.

With Love, often comes trust, and with trust will come love. They're two sides of the same coin really. :)

~Kaylin

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RE: Is it a crime to be a switch? - 1/15/2008 1:21:47 PM

ArchangelMichael

Posts: 243
Joined: 8/21/2004
From: New Orleans, LA
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Suleiman

Never mind the plethora of comments regarding "You are confused" "you don't know who you are" "switches don't really exist" (We are apparantly a rare breed, like the unicorn - oft spoken of, but rarely seen) et cetra.

To the "you don't know who you are" people, I say this. I know who I am. I'm a switch. I have an equal desire for both sides. For the longest time, I tried to be one or the other exclusively. That didn't work out too well. While, I won't rule out that possibility if someone inspires a particular side in me, I have realized that to know and accept who I am, I have to accept that I have desires for both sides. What I am is fluid more than anything else. I can adapt to the situation as it presents itself. I know myself well enough to know that it takes a particular person or experience to inspire my role, whether it's Dom, top, submissive, or bottom. I can also switch at will, but that doesn't mean I will or have to in every case. I won't try to top a Dominant partner if I know they don't switch.

_____________________________

"Open up your mind; Let your fantasies unwind." -The Phantom, Phantom of the Opera

"The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return." -Toulouse-Lautrec, Moulin Rouge

(in reply to Suleiman)

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RE: Is it a crime to be a switch? - 1/15/2008 1:37:01 PM

ArchangelMichael

Posts: 243
Joined: 8/21/2004
From: New Orleans, LA
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Maynard

Guilty as charged!

Ok, so I have not been on this site for very long (since 7/07). I have gotten many emails from people saying they are switches, but their profile will say sub of dom. Now, a third of those will have two proflies one sub one dom.

I understand that it is normal for a switch to have a preference between the two, but it is honest to have two profiles? Wouldn't it be much easier just to say what you are and say, "I'm a switch, but I am naturally more dominant"? What are your thoughts?

Forgive me if this is an over posted topic.

I've thought about having two profiles since I believe I don't get responses from many Dommes and submissives because they don't think I can be what they are looking for. For them, it's safer to just go with someone who identifies purely as Dominant or submissive. Although I see it as dishonest to some extent (if you don't mention the other profile), I can see why some people would feel the need for it. Several times have I heard, "I can NEVER submit to a switch! They just aren't Dominant enough for me!" or "I'm a Dominant and I don't want you trying to top me!"

But I think for me to have two seperate profiles would be too much of a hassle and it'd be like splitting myself in two. Why do that when I can simply express who I am in one profile? And if people can't deal with who I am, the duality and fluidity of my kink personality, then are they people I really want to get to know?

What's important is that you've accepted who and what you are and that you're not afraid to express it. That takes more courge, IMO, than hiding behind what one thinks is "acceptable."

_____________________________

"Open up your mind; Let your fantasies unwind." -The Phantom, Phantom of the Opera

"The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return." -Toulouse-Lautrec, Moulin Rouge

(in reply to Maynard)

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RE: Is it a crime to be a switch? - 1/15/2008 2:38:41 PM

oliderid

Posts: 63
Joined: 1/1/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: KaylinSilverfurr

With Love, often comes trust, and with trust will come love. They're two sides of the same coin really. :)

~Kaylin

That is precisly what I thought, I couldn't find the right words. ;-)

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RE: Is it a crime to be a switch? - 1/16/2008 4:44:03 AM

Violently

Posts: 16
Joined: 5/24/2005
From: Uk West Midlands
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Dnomyar

There are many subs who will not talk to a switch. They precieve them to be weak Dom/Dommes.

Yeah what's up with that? lol
In any case am I bovvered?

I think it's actually really quite good that people with close minds seek other close minded people ;) and form their own incestuous gene wading pool.

Nyuck

V

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