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Is it a bad idea to go to munch.. - 1/11/2008 12:34:10 AM

touchofeuphoria

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..looking for a BDSM relationship?

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RE: Is it a bad idea to go to munch.. - 1/11/2008 1:00:30 AM

AquaticSub

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I wouldn't suggest going for that reason alone. You may meet someone, you may not.

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RE: Is it a bad idea to go to munch.. - 1/11/2008 1:26:10 AM

RCdc

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Is it a bad idea to go to a munch with the only purpose is looking for a BDSM relationship?
Yes.

the.dark.

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RE: Is it a bad idea to go to munch.. - 1/11/2008 1:30:06 AM

Jayxkes

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I agree with AquaticSub. Munches tend not to be geared towards meeting a partner.
They are very good places to get to meet other likeminded people and that in turn may well lead to meeting someone.

I met CT as a result of contacting her and inviting her to join the munch I help organise. That invitation led to her joining the munch and we got on very well and spent 7 months in a relationship. We are still good friends.

My advice would be to go to your local munch and get to know people and just see what happens.

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RE: Is it a bad idea to go to munch.. - 1/11/2008 2:17:34 AM

sirguym

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The best way to find a relationship is to go with an open mind and just see what turns up.

There is nothing quite so off-putting as a desperate searcher for 'The One'; whether Dom or sub.

Unless perhaps, it's the one so desperate they'll latch on the first one with a pulse who does not actually repel them.

If your view of yourself and what you are looking for is reasonable, then you'll find friends.

If your self-image differs from that others see, then a much is a good place to help get the two better aligned.

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RE: Is it a bad idea to go to munch.. - 1/11/2008 2:44:13 AM

eyesopened

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my munch group is conprised mainly of established couples so looking for a partner would be a disappointment. However, those couples know other people and it's a great place to network and to grow, learn, and make friends.

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RE: Is it a bad idea to go to munch.. - 1/11/2008 4:35:38 AM

takenbyjohnr07

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It's not a good idea to go" anywhere" just to find a relationship. You may get let down when you could of gone nd had a good time.

Whatever you do, don't give up. i never did and he was worth wait. Everyone here gave you great advice. i hope that we helped you.

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RE: Is it a bad idea to go to munch.. - 1/11/2008 4:47:44 AM

Dnomyar

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If you want to jump into a relationship meet me at the bar. I will save a stool for you.

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RE: Is it a bad idea to go to munch.. - 1/11/2008 5:47:54 AM

HalloweenWhite

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It might be a bad idea as such but its the wrong approach, munches aren't meant to be for that they're gut social gatherings (usually) for people new to the scene and for "veterans" to meet each other, you probaly would be better going, trying to developing some friendships and go to as many events as you can as often as you can so you get seen, remembered, recognised and know, then, in time things may develop.

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RE: Is it a bad idea to go to munch.. - 1/11/2008 6:01:19 AM

Rover

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"Good" and "bad" are relative terms, subjective to each of us on an individual level. Many folks would consider it a "better" idea to go to a munch (or any other BDSM event) in order to meet and talk with others in the scene. And if in the course of doing so, you should happen to stumble across someone in whom you had an interest... well... so much the better.

But you'll have to determine for yourself what is "best" for you.

John

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RE: Is it a bad idea to go to munch.. - 1/11/2008 7:02:15 AM

TallDarkAndWitty

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It isn't a bad idea at all to go to a munch looking for a relationship. It is a much better idea than sitting on your couch hoping the BDSM fairy drops a perfect mate into your lap. However, it would be an incorrect assumption to think that going to a munch is all you would have to do to find a relationship.

Going to a munch is like ringing the door bell. Once the door is open, you have to walk in...meet people...maybe even try a few more houses...before you find what you want. So go to that munch...look for whatever it is you are looking for...even tell people at the munch what you want (but be cool about it...desperation is a real turn-off). Like I said, this will be alot more effective than sitting on the couch.

Taggard

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RE: Is it a bad idea to go to munch.. - 1/11/2008 7:27:34 AM

backseatbebe

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lol not if i was going!!!
mmmm young boys are so cute

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RE: Is it a bad idea to go to munch.. - 1/11/2008 7:51:24 AM

OsideGirl

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Well, the first time I met Master it was at the LA social. We were introduced by mutual friends. I have to admit that we were terribly spoiled. The old LA social would be 200+ people during the summer months. It was actually quite easy to meet new people there.

I agree with TallDarkandWitty, I think it's a good place to go out and look for that special person. Obviously, sitting at home, you won't meet anybody. And personally, I think the social/munches are a better venue than the internet.

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RE: Is it a bad idea to go to munch.. - 1/11/2008 10:42:12 AM

thetammyjo

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If the only goal is to find a relationship, meaning a one-on-one dynamic then going to a munch may be a set up for disappointment.

Even if you don't think you are sending out signals, you are. You may not even be aware that you tend to ignore those all ready paired or steer the conversation toward finding a partner but others will sense that. It can turn them off.

Go to a munch to meet others and have fun. Plan on going as regularly as you can manage. Be friendly to everyone and careful with what you say -- in other words don't tell everyone everything about you.

All of my long term subs and slaves I did meet via local groups and munches but never when I was looking for them.

My being there, having fun, and being clearly friendly and knowledgeable was attractive.

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RE: Is it a bad idea to go to munch.. - 1/12/2008 11:47:38 AM

fungasm

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quote:

ORIGINAL: TallDarkAndWitty
It is a much better idea than sitting on your couch hoping the BDSM fairy drops a perfect mate into your lap. However, it would be an incorrect assumption to think that going to a munch is all you would have to do to find a relationship.

Going to a munch is like ringing the door bell. Once the door is open, you have to walk in...meet people...maybe even try a few more houses...before you find what you want. So go to that munch...look for whatever it is you are looking for...even tell people at the munch what you want (but be cool about it...desperation is a real turn-off). Like I said, this will be alot more effective than sitting on the couch.

Taggard

Brilliantly put. Although I really do think I could so some fun and delicious things if a BDSM fairy dropped into my lap....

Alison

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RE: Is it a bad idea to go to munch.. - 1/12/2008 2:30:34 PM

came4U

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It would be like trolling the AA circut for a bf/gf.

uhhg

oh and saying to yourself *I'm a gonna find a man, gonna change him and he gonna luv me goooood. lol

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RE: Is it a bad idea to go to munch.. - 1/12/2008 3:22:48 PM

DaggerDom

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It's an extremely good idea. It is an opportunity to meet people and the folks who say their munches are not meet markets are either fools or liars.

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RE: Is it a bad idea to go to munch.. - 1/12/2008 3:28:39 PM

Lordandmaster

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It depends on what kind of relationship you're looking for. In my experience, most people who attend munches are sensation junkies. (I said "MOST.") If you're looking for someone who will devote the rest of her life to you in a TPE relationship...probably ain't gonna find her at a munch. If you're looking for someone who might know some friends or parties, or where to buy a kangaroo singletail, or who just might let you flog her at the after-munch party...well, then it would be a worth a trip to Applebee's or wherever the fuck they have munches nowadays.

Edited to add: Oh, I just noticed that the OP is a male sub. Well, then you have some work to do, because you've got competition, buddy. Sure, go on out to a munch. The worst thing that can happen is that you'll be burping your Oriental Chicken Salad on the way home.

< Message edited by Lordandmaster -- 1/12/2008 3:29:49 PM >

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RE: Is it a bad idea to go to munch.. - 1/12/2008 3:57:55 PM

Aneirin

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Munches are good,a good way to not feel weird, but as far as relationships go, maybe, maybe not.The munch I attend has singles as well as couples.It is nice to know others.

But, I am finding, there are many other people who do not frequent forums and sites such as this, nor go to munches that have more of a passing interest in BDSM.

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