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RE: Protecting Your Dominant - 1/11/2008 9:16:51 PM   
Bound2One


Posts: 614
Joined: 1/11/2008
Status: offline 		Well, I wouldn't need to protect him physically as he is much stronger and more able than I.  I do understand what others have said about wanting to protect him from stress - by withholding my needs from him or my worries or downplaying them.  Interestingly enough, we had a conversation just today about that very thing.  He told me he thrives off of being needed, and can handle it, even if he is stressed in other areas of his life.  So ... I will have to turn off my protective side and let him know what I am dealing with so he can help.  

(in reply to juliaoceania)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Protecting Your Dominant - 1/11/2008 9:27:21 PM   
tinoketsheli


Posts: 50
Joined: 12/9/2007
Status: offline 		I do feel a duty to protect my Mef'aked. If I am ever in that situation I will do everything in my power to protect him and support him however I can.

(in reply to sabis)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Protecting Your Dominant - 1/11/2008 9:29:53 PM   
girlygurl


Posts: 6973
Joined: 8/5/2007
From: in the palms of His hands
Status: offline 		If there was a situation in which I needed to protect my Sir of course I would do it without question.  I can't think of a situation when that would occur, but I would do anything for Him.

girly

(in reply to tinoketsheli)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Protecting Your Dominant - 1/11/2008 9:48:21 PM   
OmegaG


Posts: 1474
Joined: 10/23/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

There was a thread in the "Master's Forum" about a dominant's responsibility to protect a submissive, and I was wondering if submissives feel a duty to protect their dominants?




There are several forms of protection, in my mind.

Protection from physical harm-- that's a hard call, he's quite a bit bigger then me and I'm not sure how effective I could be, but  I have a wicked tongue so maybe I could talk a way out of a conflict.  Or make it worse.

Protection from gossip-- not sure I'd care enough, I know I don't care when it's my name being slandered, but I might care more if it's his.

Protection his reputation especially outside the BDSM community, absolutely to the best of my ability

Protection as a buffer from my projected fears that I am causing him stress would go against his desires, so I'd prefer not to let my independent streak dictate a willful disobedience.

_____________________________


Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable. Sydney J. Harris

Sex without pain is like food without taste.
- de Sade

(in reply to juliaoceania)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Protecting Your Dominant - 1/11/2008 10:12:00 PM   
BitaTruble


Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

There was a thread in the "Master's Forum" about a dominant's responsibility to protect a submissive, and I was wondering if submissives feel a duty to protect their dominants?




My duty is to obey him, not protect him. My inclination, however, is to protect him. Sometimes he allows that, most times he doesn't.

Celeste

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."


(in reply to juliaoceania)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Protecting Your Dominant - 1/11/2008 10:17:47 PM   
Hergirl0824


Posts: 119
Joined: 10/2/2007
Status: offline 		While i know that my Mistress is quite capable of protecting Herself, my natural inclination is to protect those who mean the most to me...while normally i am very meek and laid back when someone who i love is threatened i am ferocious....been comapred to a pit bull dog...won't stop until the threat is destroyed.....Mistress and my Ums are my world and i will ALWAYS protect them

_____________________________

collared to Mistress Sizzlynn

When i let go of what i am, i become what i might be

(in reply to juliaoceania)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Protecting Your Dominant - 1/11/2008 10:23:35 PM   
PrizedPosession


Posts: 1209
Joined: 11/2/2007
Status: offline 		i'm protective of Master even if it's not public. Master gets frustrated easily and i wish i could just take all the weight off of His shoulders. i always feel the need to protect someone i love especially when they take care of me. i think it is just something that happens when one has a connection, the want to protect them.
-bobcat

(in reply to Hergirl0824)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Protecting Your Dominant - 1/11/2008 10:24:07 PM   
MistressOfGa


Posts: 2929
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BitaTruble

quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

There was a thread in the "Master's Forum" about a dominant's responsibility to protect a submissive, and I was wondering if submissives feel a duty to protect their dominants?




My duty is to obey him, not protect him. My inclination, however, is to protect him. Sometimes he allows that, most times he doesn't.

Celeste

Celeste,
That is how I feel. Brian's duty is to make my life easier and to keep my stress levels down. If he is off trying to protect me or fight for me, I would be worried and I would be upset that he would cause me stress. I have lupus and I have to keep my stress levels down, if not, I end up in the hospital. He is aware of this and for him to cause me more stress than need be would only harm him more. There are times he wants to call my doctors and demand that they treat me better, or see me more often, ect..he has gone so far as to ask for my doctors names. I will not allow him to speak for me. I am quite capable of that myself. Anyone can attest to that <s>

_____________________________





(in reply to BitaTruble)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Protecting Your Dominant - 1/11/2008 11:10:40 PM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline 		Recently I began to make myself physically ill because I worry about things that I have no business worrying about because I want to take every little upsetting thing off his plate. I began to annoy him because of it, and he lectured me harshly that I was not to worry myself to that degree over things I have zero control over. He pointed out that I wasn't being submissive by doing that, and he didn't want a sick submissive... I have since found a balance to this, but it was hard

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to MistressOfGa)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Protecting Your Dominant - 1/11/2008 11:29:26 PM   
CalifChick


Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Jeffff

Gratned this is one mans view point...........but I would be......annoyed at key information being withheld. I understand the..............want to protect me, and I appreciate it. I would rather you let me be me........I CAN handle it , thats part of the deal.

Jeff


I cannot see it being any other way (in my world).  While I would not stand by and let someone trash talk someone I care about when they were not there to "handle" it, I don't consider that "protecting" someone, but merely what you do for ohana. 

No secrets, no lies.  I don't withhold information.  It's not my place to do, it's not my decision to make.

Cali


_____________________________

AKA "The Undisputed Goddess of Sarcasm", "Big Bad Cali" and "Yum Bum". Advisor to the Subbie Mafia, founding member of the W.A.C. and the Judgmental Bitches Brigade, member of the Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's and Team Troll

(in reply to Jeffff)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Protecting Your Dominant - 1/11/2008 11:45:13 PM   
Lordandmaster


Posts: 10943
Joined: 6/22/2004
Status: offline 		Well, maybe the third reason is that we don't know who he is, and if you rushed to his rescue, it would become apparent?

quote:

ORIGINAL: justheather

There is another form of "protection" that comes to mind, and that is a sort of protecting/defending him on these boards. I can think back over the past two and a half years that we have been together and call to mind times when someone said something on the forums that pushed my "mama bear" button and made me want to say something to a poster about the way he or she addressed my Daddy or about the content of their remarks directed at him, but Ive restrained myself for a couple of reasons.
One is that Im certain he does not want me to be his mama bear. While he is most likely tickled and amused when I express to him (privately) my feelings about the other posters, he does not want or need me to come to his rescue.
The other is that he is much better at expressing what he wants to say how he wants to say it than I am. I will never be the better person for the job when it comes to speaking for Daddy.
So, I don't.

(in reply to justheather)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Protecting Your Dominant - 1/12/2008 12:27:21 AM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

There was a thread in the "Master's Forum" about a dominant's responsibility to protect a submissive, and I was wondering if submissives feel a duty to protect their dominants?




Yup.

I love him and I have a very protective nature. I will protect him and his as much as I could. I couldn't step away from any fray because I know I could help. I fight by his side and my fighting nature is something that appeals to him.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to juliaoceania)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Protecting Your Dominant - 1/12/2008 1:34:50 AM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

There was a thread in the "Master's Forum" about a dominant's responsibility to protect a submissive, and I was wondering if submissives feel a duty to protect their dominants?




When appropriate, yes; when inappropriate, no. 

It is not my job to protect him.  It is my job, however, to report to him my observations which might be in his best interest to know.  For example, I'll provide him research on various foods he enjoys, and whether or not it will interfere with his health.  If I can learn something that will benefit him, then I will do so.  But I don't go fight his battles for him.  I don't even defend him much to others anymore.  To uninformed criticisms, he shrugs and says, "Oh well."  So he certainly wouldn't want my own energy and focus diverted to something he wouldn't care about.

But the last thing he needs is to have me going off like a loose cannon, unable to rely on me being where he expects me to be (mentally, physically, emotionally).

Now, if someone came into my home while he was in it and threatened harm to him, they might quickly find a weapon in their face...

(in reply to juliaoceania)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Protecting Your Dominant - 1/12/2008 2:21:09 AM   
eyesopened


Posts: 2798
Joined: 6/12/2006
From: Tampa, FL
Status: offline 		i have been charged with the duty to 'protect' my Master from anything that would make His life difficult, embarassing, or dangerous. 

i look at 'protection' from a different point of view, outside of the physical (He is very capable of protecting both of us in that regard).  i am that vessel where He can keep all His fears, weaknesses or perceived flaws, safe from the outside world.  i am that secret place where He can release anything and not have to keep anything bottled up inside.  He could cry like a baby and His tears would be kept safe with me and He would never have to worry that i would see Him as any less the strong and Dominant Master that He is.  His most twisted thoughts, His most weak moments, His private humanity are all safe with me.  i am that soft place for Him to land when the world gets too heavy for Him to carry.

i was once told in a dream to be careful not to choose a Master who is too heavy for me to carry.  i will carry my Master to the world's end.

_____________________________

Proudly owned by InkedMaster. He is the one i obey, serve, honor and love.

No one is honored for what they've received. Honor is the reward for what has been given.

(in reply to juliaoceania)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Protecting Your Dominant - 1/12/2008 3:54:40 AM   
rubberpet


Posts: 1743
Joined: 4/6/2006
From: The Land of Voodoo
Status: offline 		I would definitely protect Mistress like a well-trained fire-breathing dragon.  She comes first in my life, so there would be no hesitation or concern for my safety should She ever be in danger.  I'd die to protect Her and give my last breath to save Her.  I'm a firm believer in overkill and exposing vital organs to daylight, so I would defend and protect Her with extreme prejudice!  I just feel sorry for anyone who does anything to hurt or harm Her, though.  It would be that person's responsibility to make peace with God for harming Her, but it would be my responsibility to arrange the meeting!  For me, it's not a duty, it's just the way I am.  I'm the same way with my family or my closest friends. 

I know Mistress would defend and protect me in any physical danger, but I'd have to veto Her power at that moment because I don't want Her in danger.   I know She's more than capable of whippin' someone's ass like it ain't even funny because She's crazy and psychotic, like me, but I'd want Her as far away from danger as possible.  Besides, She's going to be a nurse in school, so if I ever need one, there She is!

If we're talking about something like gossip or rumors, Mistress is more than able to defend Herself there and even happier to come to my defense.  She's just as protective of me as I am of Her, but my methods of conflict resolution are quite a bit different than Hers, although She is very fond of spilling someone's blood!   I'll let Her handle things and I'm just back-up...LOL.  Besides, I know if She asks for my help, I know the situation is serious and it will be dealt with in a very serious way.

_____________________________

Collared and devoted property of Mistress Lorelei (vampchick88) as of 3/26/08.

Rubberpet - The Resident Anti-Subby and mysterious shadowy figure known as Voodoo, proud hitman and wiseguy for the Subby Mafia.


(in reply to juliaoceania)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Protecting Your Dominant - 1/12/2008 4:30:09 AM   
wisteriaV


Posts: 438
Joined: 3/17/2005
Status: offline 		I would lay down my life for Masters in a heart beat. He gives so much and helps me with my medical limitations that there's nothing I wouldn't do to protect him.

_____________________________

Every story has two sides , much like a coin and neither one is totally perfect.
If it doesn't float your boat, then don't get in the water~!

(in reply to rubberpet)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Protecting Your Dominant - 1/12/2008 5:22:39 AM   
cherrypez


Posts: 114
Joined: 12/20/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

My question is why do you believe this is a "top" sort of behavior?
Sometimes I think it can be a 'top' sort of behavior.   I think it depends on the situation and for me sometimes It's okay for me to let my hair down and be simply 'human' and not carry that always rigid submissive persona.   I would say tell him if he had a piece of food stuck in his teeth, or a stain on his shirt, thus protecting him from outside embarrassment.    If the house were on fire and he passed out and I didn't, I would attempt to drag his ass out and not stop to think about it.
    On the flip side, if he were involved in an argument with someone else, my first thought might be to open my big mouth and defend him but I would keep it shut.   If it were a physical altercation (which I doubt would ever happen) I think he could pretty much defend himself without my pitiful attempts to help.    I don't need to remind him to put his little mittens on before going out in the snow, I don't need to remind him to take his meds, I don't need to blow on his soup---he has a mom who mothers him enough and I don't have the need to do any of that and really I wouldn't want to.
       I think for us, the bottom line is that because I am female and he is male, it is almost an inbred trait for him to be a little more protective over me than I am of him.   

(in reply to juliaoceania)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Protecting Your Dominant - 1/12/2008 5:50:11 AM   
Suleiman


Posts: 1127
Joined: 9/9/2004
Status: offline 		I always did. Percieving a threat to a loved one, especially to my dominus, is one of those things that will get me to switch from 'sub' (that is, in my particular headspace, passive/responsive/non-violent) to 'dom' (controlling/authoritarian/challenging/aggressive), no matter how post-scene loopy I'm feeling. Percieving an insult or slur against my dominus will do it too, although it's kind of an odd experience for me - I can feel a set of mental gears shift into place, as I check with m dominus to see whether or not they give me tacit approval to let loose. The mental clockwork is very similar to the dynamic of a well trained dog on a leash that's just spotted a squirrel and is waiting for the order to give chase. If I percieve a physical threat, I don't wait for permission. Funny thing is, I'm an ethical pacifist (though I don't take it to the point of suicide). I just put myself in harm's way and try to talk sense into the person. The look of confusion on some mook's face is actually pretty sweet when he decks you and you just take it (thinking to yourself that it barely counted as foreplay in your world) while still keeping a level voice and a level eye, refusing to yeild control of the situation to him, but not actually threatening him. I've been clobbered like that twice. I've talked people out of clobbering me nine or ten time. I've talked down a guy with a knife once, guys with guns two or three times, and I've dealt with small gang squads more times than I care to count. It's almost enough to get me to believe in the ghost dance. Pity I'm Laguna, not Sioux.

_____________________________

Think of my verbosity as a sort of litmus test for our relationship. I write in a manner identical to how I speak and how I think. If you can not cope with what I have written here, it is probably for the best if we go our separate ways.

(in reply to juliaoceania)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Protecting Your Dominant - 1/12/2008 6:01:19 AM   
gypsygrl


Posts: 1471
Joined: 10/8/2005
From: new york state
Status: offline 		I have strong protective instincts and can be very mama bearish of those I care about.  I don't really feel a need to protect my Master in any obvious way as he's quite capable of protecting himself and the sort of threats that trigger the mama bear in me haven't really come up in our relationship.  If I see some kind of 'trouble' looming on the horizon, I'll mention it but mostly let him deal with things.  Other than that, my protectivness tends to be more nurturning than anything else and probably comes under the heading of 'service.'

As a slave, I do think it to be my duty to protect, but if I had to act on that sense of duty alot, I'd be worried.  For the most part, adults ought to be able to keep themselves out of harms way and shouldn't need a whole lot of protection from someone else.  Shit happens sometimes, so every once in a while is ok, but if shit happens too much, something's amiss.

< Message edited by gypsygrl -- 1/12/2008 6:02:19 AM >

_____________________________

“To be happy is to be able to become aware of oneself without fright.” ~Walter Benjamin


(in reply to juliaoceania)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Protecting Your Dominant - 1/12/2008 6:26:30 AM   
sambamanslilgirl


Posts: 10926
Joined: 2/5/2007
From: Chicago, IL
Status: offline 		i would protect and defend them in a heartbeat even though it's obvious they wouldn't need protecting.


< Message edited by sambamanslilgirl -- 1/12/2008 6:27:23 AM >

_____________________________

...2011 - year of the fabulous rock star life ...and i do it so well...


...announcing Mr. & Mrs. British Petrol ...yeah, marrying into oil is slick business...

(in reply to juliaoceania)
Profile   Post #: 40
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