RE: "Real" Drama, Played Out Online ;-)

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RE: "Real" Drama, Played Out Online ;-) - 8/28/2005 3:01:33 AM

Kasia

Posts: 442
Joined: 6/25/2005
From: The Coast of Adria
Status: offline

Since I first "met" internet some 6 years ago, I was nothing but myself. I gave my cell phone number openly to anyone who wanted to talk, and I never had any troubles.
In fact, I am not scared easily, and I just want to see anyone trying to stalk me..... I can get really nasty if someone bothers me.

I met a man in a chatroom, liked him, spent 2 weeks chatting and then got myself on the bus and went to see if he was worth trouble. That was 4 years ago and we are happily married.
I met my maid of honour on the chat too - she is my best friend in RL now.
It goes for almost all my RL friends.

Internet is just a chance in life to meet someone one is compatible with, and all depends on person itself at the first place - if you play games and decieve people you cannot expect to establish any relationships with them. Same goes for those who hide and get scared of everything.

Use common sense and grab your chances - just like in real life, nothing more and nothing less.
Those who are afraid to take any risks shouldnt complain if they dont get what they want.

_____________________________

I DO have profile - just lost an S somewhere along the way

Kassia

(in reply to thelight)

RE: "Real" Drama, Played Out Online ;-) - 8/28/2005 12:39:59 PM

mossy

Posts: 189
Joined: 2/21/2005
Status: offline

quote:

raeanha: HOwever, if a man online approaches me, ready to have engaging intelligent conversation rather than waving his naughty bits at me and asking me the size of my boobs, in this medium.. where he can say, be, and do anything he wants without consequence.... I have learned something important about him.

quote:

the light: well, at least the guy who asks you about your boobs is being honest about the fact that he's a horny chestman. there's more to be said for that than many people are willing to give credit for.

the light, i used to feel the the same way, as you say in you're quote above. raeanha can correct me if i'm wrong here, but i think she was trying to say, if all the person wants is kinky sex, he will usually ask questions such as these right away. Since this is not what she is looking for she has learned something important about him. Intelligent conversation says the person is seeking more. Bluntness and cutting to chase is great, i have met good Dominants that know how to make me feel like i am both a lady and a slut to them, but in good time. Not right out of the gate. If they don't want my mind? Then i don't want them. Period. i know i am not alone in this thinking.

Perhaps i have misunderstood you? if thats the case then i apologise.

_____________________________

~~inner peace & mental clarity~~

(in reply to thelight)

RE: "Real" Drama, Played Out Online ;-) - 8/28/2005 12:57:46 PM

Posts: 2431
Joined: 11/29/2004
From: Indiana
Status: offline

If people are deluding other people for the sheer enjoyment of it, it says something rather negative about their character. It's an unfortunate reality that these things happen, and it's not always easy to tell the true from the false.

_____________________________

"Oh, it's torture, but I'm almost there."
~The Cure

"I ask for so little. Just fear me, love me, do as I say, and I will be your slave."
~The Labyrinth

(in reply to caitlyn)

RE: "Real" Drama, Played Out Online ;-) - 8/28/2005 1:40:07 PM

Posts: 309
Joined: 2/19/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: mossy

If they don't want my mind? Then i don't want them. Period.

Absolutely.

~ Elektra

(in reply to mossy)

RE: "Real" Drama, Played Out Online ;-) - 8/28/2005 1:44:41 PM

Posts: 474
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline

AAkasha, You would not have been the only one walking out the door.

(in reply to thelight)

RE: "Real" Drama, Played Out Online ;-) - 8/28/2005 2:17:36 PM

Posts: 830
Joined: 6/21/2005
Status: offline

and my head shrink asks why i don't like joe and jolene q. public?

oh puh leeze.

more 2 legged trash that needs to be set out on the curb wednesday morning.

that male dom is such an idiot i wonder if a 2 by 4 would wake him up?

wolf

< Message edited by lonewolf05 -- 8/28/2005 2:18:41 PM >

_____________________________

"there is no gravity, life sucks!"

(in reply to dominmd)

RE: "Real" Drama, Played Out Online ;-) - 8/28/2005 4:18:25 PM

Posts: 349
Joined: 3/11/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: mossy

If they don't want my mind? Then i don't want them. Period.

Well, I'll take your mind, if you're not using it. The rest, I dunno. We don't have much storage space here.

Cane

(in reply to mossy)

RE: "Real" Drama, Played Out Online ;-) - 8/28/2005 9:00:09 PM

Posts: 344
Joined: 3/17/2005
Status: offline

It would seem that any alternate lifestyle would "preach" tolerance, given that each meets with ignorance and stupidity all around them. Yet I never cease to be amazed at those who somehow have appointed themselved the judge of what is "real" or "correct" and is quite sure that their way is the only way.

Everyone has their own "level" of what they want out of this. I have a very popular club right in my town, but I don't go there. For me, this is a private one on one thing I don't care to share with the world. Others do and for them that is great. The level of bdsm I want in my life is just as "real" as the level for those in 24/7 total power exchanges. After all, this is all about choice. If we all were looking for the same thing, everyone would be either dominant or submissive and no one would find the one they were looking for.

Some people never want to have a relationship beyond on line and for them that is their choice. I do have to wonder though...if they never intend on actually meeting face to face, why would reality matter at all? If you believe you are cybering (is that a word?) with the person of your dreams, and they meet all of your needs, what the reality is shouldn't make a bit of difference. Again, in this I am talking about those who are looking only for cyber. Obviously, for those of us who are simply starting on the internet with the hopes of finding someone to move to face to face with it matters.

It is very true that you can learn a great deal about a person online before ever moving forward to phone or face to face. The questions they ask, how they respond to my questions are very revealing if you pay attention. I don't find the risks of on line to be any greater really than the "normal" old fashioned face to face meeting. I have been lied to by men when speaking face to face, and on line, didn't make much difference. The only huge difference is that until you meet face to face, you really don't know how truthful they were about their appearance. I once met a guy who I met through another site and he was pretty hot in his picture. When we met face to face, yes the picture was certainly of him, but it had been done by a professional photographer and let's just say that with the right lighting and camera angles, anything is possible!

(in reply to CitizenCane)

RE: "Real" Drama, Played Out Online ;-) - 8/29/2005 3:27:10 PM

Posts: 4145
Joined: 6/2/2004
From: UK
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: caitlyn

Over the past few days, something has come to my attention that has shaken the very notion of online vs. offline (I will no longer call it real), and the effect offline lifestylers have on the honorable online community.

At a Munch in a large major metropolitan area, a strong, powerful and arrogant, dominant male took out some "emails" from his fake persona on collarme (for the sake of example, lets call the fake persona "spnkgurl4u"), to read the trolly-troll material so that everyone could get a nice laugh. 200+ emails and posts, and I witnessed them with my own eyes.

Oh what fun was had by one and all. This was of course followed by a diatribe about the perils and pitfalls of the online community, and how it was destroying the "lifestyle."

This got me thinking ... (usually dangerous)

If only one-tenth of this group participated in this sort of activity, that would be a considerable number of people, with considerable fake persona's. Now, some may have more than one, but lets give the benefit of doubt and say that each participant has only one.

Extrapolated out over the vast number of groups around the world, there can be little doubt that the vast majority of fakes online, are actually fake profiles made by "real" lifestylers, for the purpose of showing off at a Munch. One can only imagine as some well known and respected dominant in a local group is reading the post from his fake person, "spankgurl4u" ... some other well know submissive is blushng brightly, knowing that the response from "SuperDomSpankerMan", is actually from her.

Oh, the horror!!!!!

I'm off to the coast ... enjoy.

Hello caitlyn

My question to you is - did not one person in the group tell this man that he was being completely cruel or anything by his behaviour?
If not, what is with people who stand by and let this happen without speaking up? It is very sad times.

Peace and Love

_____________________________

.dark.

...i surrender to gravity and the unknown...

(in reply to caitlyn)

RE: "Real" Drama, Played Out Online ;-) - 8/29/2005 3:29:51 PM

Posts: 349
Joined: 3/11/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: dark~angel

My question to you is - did not one person in the group tell this man that he was being completely cruel or anything by his behaviour?
If not, what is with people who stand by and let this happen without speaking up? It is very sad times.

Peace and Love[/center][/font][/size]

Perhaps he was actually a Dom, and dominated the gathering. Just shows to go ya that dominance and sainthood aren't necessarily congruent.

Cane

(in reply to darkinshadows)

RE: "Real" Drama, Played Out Online ;-) - 8/29/2005 3:41:08 PM

Posts: 4145
Joined: 6/2/2004
From: UK
Status: offline

Well, he may dominate the group that is true, but any group dominated by such behaviour or actions would not be a group I would wish to visit nor wish to associate with. It says much about those that attend if this is the case?

Peace and Love

_____________________________

.dark.

...i surrender to gravity and the unknown...

(in reply to CitizenCane)

RE: "Real" Drama, Played Out Online ;-) - 8/29/2005 3:57:01 PM

Posts: 349
Joined: 3/11/2005
Status: offline

It could say a lot of different things about them, singly or together. I agree that most of them would lead me to the same conclusion as you.

Cane

(in reply to darkinshadows)

RE: "Real" Drama, Played Out Online ;-) - 8/29/2005 4:50:45 PM

Posts: 674
Joined: 11/7/2004
Status: offline

I am a member in a local group in Ct called the society. Not once have a heard people being like this there. Ive been involved in the scene and as a slave for 13 years now. I think what Offline people worry about most is the fantasy/non reality of the cyber play , and " im climbing on spankme's lap and rubbing his chest" . When you stay onl;ine and play too long the expectations of the other person may change and he/she could never live up to the fantasy role play that has occured. It may be doomed to fail. Everything is fun...but sometimes at the cost of others.

(in reply to caitlyn)

RE: "Real" Drama, Played Out Online ;-) - 8/29/2005 5:25:44 PM

Posts: 3473
Joined: 12/22/2004
Status: offline

I didn't actually see anyone say anything negative to the guy.

That's not to say that someone didn't, just that I didn't see it.

(in reply to darkinshadows)

RE: "Real" Drama, Played Out Online ;-) - 8/29/2005 5:54:28 PM

Posts: 3149
Status: offline

this is gay. People are dumb and fake whether its online or off. Can some one please grow up and stop the debate on whose better? WHO CARES? Why is everyone trying to prove themselves everywhere? Who cares.. who cares.. who cares.. chant with me now folks

(in reply to caitlyn)

RE: "Real" Drama, Played Out Online ;-) - 8/30/2005 6:07:33 AM

Posts: 191
Joined: 11/11/2004
Status: offline

Just because someone attends a Munch does not mean they are a 'respected' lifestyler. Honestly, most people I know that live this lifestyle do not go to the Munches in our area because they are seen as dramafests. This is not to say that the people that live the lifestyle do not go to clubs occassionally; however, it is usually something we do in the privacy of our own homes with the ocassional outting here and there.

There are some of us that are into this lifestyle in our everyday lives that do use the personal sites specifically for BDSM to meet people. However, it is a gross exaggeration to say that real lifers are using the online venue in the way you outlined.

(in reply to caitlyn)

RE: "Real" Drama, Played Out Online ;-) - 8/30/2005 6:20:05 AM

ProtagonistLily

Posts: 1222
Joined: 12/27/2004
Status: offline

quote:

I would have to wonder what this dominant male really hoped to accomplish by this "revelation"? Personally, I wonder what type of person would take the time to collect 200+ emails, print them off, bundle them up and bring them to a munch? Aren't there other more fulfilling things to do in this world? Just my opinion

Basically he did the equivolent of wearing a bright yellow T-shirt with black blinking letters that said "Guess what, I'm nuts!"

Lily

_____________________________

"Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind"
~Dr. Seuss~

(in reply to EvilTwin1)

RE: "Real" Drama, Played Out Online ;-) - 8/30/2005 6:22:24 AM

ProtagonistLily

Posts: 1222
Joined: 12/27/2004
Status: offline

quote:

Perhaps he was actually a Dom, and dominated the gathering. Just shows to go ya that dominance and sainthood aren't necessarily congruent.

Cane

Cane, that's the most rolest thing I ever heard. I've been known to hold court at a Munch or two in my time, telling a story or a joke, or what ever and that doesn't make me Dominant. It just makes me Miss Personality.

I wonder if you get out much at all...

Lily

_____________________________

"Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind"
~Dr. Seuss~

(in reply to CitizenCane)

RE: "Real" Drama, Played Out Online ;-) - 8/30/2005 6:47:16 AM

Posts: 2203
Joined: 5/11/2004
From: Scranton, PA
Status: offline

quote:

but any group dominated by such behaviour or actions would not be a group I would wish to visit nor wish to associate with. It says much about those that attend if this is the case?

I think the groups reactions can depend on the dynamics with this individual in the group. For example, it is easy for us to call the guy an asshole because we can evaluate this behavior in isolation of anything else. It is possible that if someone has credibility within the group then a single instance of being an asshole may not seem so bad or can be perceived as funny.

Since caitlyn described him as "a strong, powerful and arrogant, dominant male" it is also possible that the reactions of observers were "oh, he's being an asshole again", but they quietly tolerate that behavior because it is hard for a group to get rid of overbearing jerks like that and it can be more trouble than it is worth to tick him off when you value the relationships with others in the group.

I don't mean to defend the group's inaction; just to point out that group dynamics can be funny.

_____________________________

"Get a bicycle. You will not regret it if you live." . . . Mark Twain

(in reply to darkinshadows)

RE: "Real" Drama, Played Out Online ;-) - 8/30/2005 11:24:11 AM

Posts: 349
Joined: 3/11/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ProtagonistLily

quote:

Perhaps he was actually a Dom, and dominated the gathering. Just shows to go ya that dominance and sainthood aren't necessarily congruent.

Cane

Cane, that's the most rolest thing I ever heard. I've been known to hold court at a Munch or two in my time, telling a story or a joke, or what ever and that doesn't make me Dominant. It just makes me Miss Personality.

I wonder if you get out much at all...

Lily

Well, I'm operating without much sleep today, but I can't for the life of me figure out what 'rolest' means. Apparently it's unflattering, but I'd like to know how unflattering, just so I can keep track. My point, which perhaps you didn't have enough caffeine to apprehend, was that if a person spews offensive bullshit (which might not include your stories and jokes, you tell me) at a gathering and nobody calls him on it, that the possible explanations include a) They're all assholes or b) they have been entranced, befuddled, intimidated or otherwise swayed by the force of his personality, the size of his biceps, or the buckknife on his belt- which would be another way of saying he dominated the gathering.

As for getting out- every time the guard falls asleep.

Cane

(in reply to ProtagonistLily)

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