quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

Agreed. If I was to write a note to a dominant that we were meeting with, I would think it would fairly obvious that they are allowed to speak with me, particularly if I do this more than once. However, instead of ignoring me completely and responding to my owner only (which I do think is rude and so does he), we would much prefer that they simply speak with Valyraen and say "Your girl keeps writing me. I've always practiced X,Y, and Z. Am I allowed to speak with her?"  or simply let us know that they would be more comfortable speaking dominant to dominant.

quote:

ORIGINAL: MissAidan

I never expect people to know, or adhear to my set of rules, protocols, etc.  I simply practice them myself and alter them when dealing with someone who practices differently.  It is difficult, however, to alter my own when not knowing that the person or people I am dealing with practice differently.

quote:

ORIGINAL: MissAidan

I never expect people to know, or adhear to my set of rules, protocols, etc.  I simply practice them myself and alter them when dealing with someone who practices differently.  It is difficult, however, to alter my own when not knowing that the person or people I am dealing with practice differently.

Edited to say that it is incorrect to say that I have flat out ignored all of her emails.  I understand where she gets this from though, as all too often I too over-generalize and focus on the negative.

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ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

quote:

ORIGINAL: MissAidan

I never expect people to know, or adhear to my set of rules, protocols, etc.  I simply practice them myself and alter them when dealing with someone who practices differently.  It is difficult, however, to alter my own when not knowing that the person or people I am dealing with practice differently.

Just curious - Is it usual for you to get notes from subs/slaves that you don't think you are supposed to speak with?

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ORIGINAL: MissAidan

Not on this site, no, Aquaticsub.  As for working things out, I believe things are in the works right now to do so.  We shall see.

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ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

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ORIGINAL: NakedOnMyChain

Trite though it sounds, I think that honesty is the best policy.  Send her a polite, respectful e-mail and ask her why she doesn't reply to your e-mails when she sends them to your master.  Tell her that it hurts your feelings a bit.  If she's is being disrespectful or if she has a valid reason, you can go from there, but nothing much can be done until you know her reasoning.

I do not know that I would feel comfortable expressing those feelings to someone who flat out ignored all my previous attempts at communication.

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I almost told HM that I did not want to meet them because of two notes that had been disregarded previously.

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ORIGINAL: Prinsexx

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I almost told HM that I did not want to meet them because of two notes that had been disregarded previously.

Dear xxblushesxx

I experience this when initially contacting other 'pairs': that they take roles and presume a dynamic upon first contact. So I suppose she might have become your Domme already and therefore disregarded responding to you?
I always say could we please communicate outside of any 'future' or 'assumed' dynamic please?
That usually that gets the others to respond as human beings rather than the role they have assumed they are going to become.
As they say, assumption is the mother of all fuck ups....(and how).

quote:

ORIGINAL: daddyncherry

Wow not necessarily to the two people indicated in the OP...but just in general...

When is rudeness ever aceptable? i mean sure people do humilation and that sort of thing but it seems that a few people here think it's okay to just be flat out rude...Lack of manners does not, IMO, show any kind of strength or dominance.

If someone, such as a sub, especially one who is NOT yours, is polite enough to thank you for a nice time, and you ignore it, it gives them the upper hand when you show lack of any social grace whatsoever.

Maybe i just can't fathom that because manners are very important to me in general and to think that it's just acceptable is beyond my comprehension.

Also, when getting involved with a couple, it would seem to me that in order for things to not get "sticky", that a woman should try to make the other woman MORE comfortable with her presence...and this can be accomplished without being less dominant....but to respond only to the male of the couple....that just sounds like a good way to cause issues, hurt feelings and make things turn out not quite so nice...Especially when STARTING out....once you are all comfortable then you will see where things can go.

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ORIGINAL: takenbyjohnr07


My opinion would be is that she answers him, because she is interested in him and doesn;t want to offend him. You may be insignificant to her not because you're a slave.but because she's aftr somethging else. Eithger way she is wrong. There is no excuse not to be polite if someone is being polite to you.

quote:

ORIGINAL: daddyncherry
Also, when getting involved with a couple, it would seem to me that in order for things to not get "sticky", that a woman should try to make the other woman MORE comfortable with her presence...and this can be accomplished without being less dominant....but to respond only to the male of the couple....that just sounds like a good way to cause issues, hurt feelings and make things turn out not quite so nice...Especially when STARTING out....once you are all comfortable then you will see where things can go.