RoughFN -> RE: Why the play is a lot more intense when we are no longer in a D/s relationship (1/15/2008 10:44:04 AM)
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In a past relationship, I'd found that as I developed feelings for the girl I was with I had trouble topping her as effectively. Stuff creeping in about my not really wanting to hurt her, worrying about how she's doing, and so on. So I couldn't whip her as effectively as when we started out. I'd hit her, she'd shudder, and I'd pause. Even if it was just for a fraction of a second or if she didn't notice, I still knew I was doing it, and I hated it. Now, my current girl is different. I love her dearly and that's actually made me more sadistic. Again, it was like a switch flipped inside me, it's just that this time it went the other way. I'm not quite sure what's different about it. Maybe this time that I'm more open and we're very clear about our feelings for each other. I dunno. So I look at her in two different ways - she's my babe who I love and treasure dearly and she's also a hunk of meat for me to have my way with. She's simultaneously someone to be held close and softly kissed and someone to be chained up in a basement to be used as a hole. Kind of a weird dichotomy but it works for me. So we both get off on her being used as a toy. Is it healthy? I assume it is. Otherwise we're not healthy either. Or were you asking whether it's healthy to be getting back together like this? Well, a lot of people have hookups like this with exes in vanilla relationships, too. Is that healthy? No more or less than what this is. I'd say the only thing to be wary of is the standard relationship stuff. That one or the other of you will start developing feelings again and get badly hurt, or possibly get back together. But just getting off on being nothing more than a service toy? Nothing wrong with that.
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