MsterJimNY
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I wrote the following essay a while back and I recently brought it out to read it again.. Any thoughts.. comments?
How many times have you heard someone say, “A good dominant is …” and then list a skill set? Phrases like “safe, sane, and consensual”- with specific do’s and don’ts?When we think about learning or teaching dominance and submission, we tend to think in terms of check lists . -New people say, “Give me the good websites” or “offer a workshop so I can do
hands-on learning Even better, “Give me a book that, at the end of teach chapter, has a checklist so I know how to recognize or learn good skills”. Experienced scene people say, “Go read this, and come to workshops to learn.” The focus is on measurable, teachable, learnable skills
That’s the reason when we talk about S/M that we only talk about the usual things like caning and flogging, waxing or fire – the physical things that lend themselves to a checklist for measuring
safe, sane and consensual. No one wants to talk about edge play because it doesn’t lend itself to check lists, and it can’t really be taught.
Engaging in edge play involves making a shift from the physical set to the challenge of the cerebral. It is the shift between the skill of giving (or receiving!) a hard flogging, and the mindset that requires a submissive to write a soul-bearing letter to a dominant who understands what to do with the information. It is the difference between the skill of being bound tightly and flogged for two hours, and the mindset of requiring a submissive woman never to shave her armpits or legs. It is the contrast between skilled, publicly oriented play at the clubs on a Saturday
night, and the intensely intimate mindset of owning, and of being owned. This is the contrast between skill-based sensation play, and mind-centered edge play.
No one wants to hear that you can best learn edge play simply by paying attention. How can you measure that? How can you know when you’ve learned enough?How do you know if you are doing it right? How can you know if you’ve picked someone safe to play with, if you don’t have a list of things that makes people play
safe?
When you elect to do mind-centered edge play, it’s like playing out on thin ice. There aren’t a lot of rules, and there aren’t a lot of players, and there are no checklists.The only person you can trust out that far out on the ice is yourself. Will you be able to trust yourself enough to pay close attention to the sounds the ice makes? Does that
particular noise signal more danger than you want to take on? Will you trust yourself enough to choose wisely among those you play with out on the edge? Will you trust yourself enough to stop when you’ve had enough? And if you go too far, will you be able to trust yourself enough to get back?
The elegant endorphin rush of edge play is not teachable, but it is learnable. Edge play is learned by paying attention, paying attention to yourself, and to those with whom you play. The beauty and exciting potential of moving from the realm of the physical to the cerebral is achieved solely through paying deep attention, and teaching yourself.
And when the ice cracks, and your feet get wet, will you trust yourself enough to say, “ I should have chosen better?” Or will you take refuge in assigning blame to the ice for breaking? Will you trust yourself enough to say, ”Now I know more about edge play for the next time.” Or will you say ”He should have eliminate the danger out here; he should have made sure my feet would never get wet” ?
It’s wild and free on the edge of the ice. Playing here requires you to sharpen your own skates, know your own abilities and trust in yourself enough to skate fast enough to outrun the cracks. Ready to lace up?
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www.geocities.com/msterjimny
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Some thoughts on Edge Play - 
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