Collarchat.com

Join Our Community		 Collarchat.com

Home  Login  Search 

RE: What Is A Master


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Master >> RE: What Is A Master Page: <<   < prev  1 [2] 3   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
RE: What Is A Master - 8/9/2004 2:34:25 PM   
cajunqueen


Posts: 9
Joined: 8/5/2004
From: Texas
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: kiki blue

I think a good owner is like a good bra.

Supportive, worth the expense, helps you look and feel good about yourself and you may have to try on a few before you find the one that fits you perfectly.


kiki, I love this!! :) I'll have to remember that.

_____________________________

'No one can push me as far as I can'

(in reply to kiki blue)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: What Is A Master - 8/10/2004 3:51:17 PM   
MasterMalice


Posts: 51
Joined: 6/7/2004
Status: offline
quote:

MasterJayMack, what the hell are you a master of exactly?


I wish someone would ask me this question so I could shove it right down their throat.
Seems to me if you are not a regular here on collarme or equal to the regulars who post, then your opinion is attacked.
What a joke. I have seen on the boards more bitch bickering then 2 girlscouts argueing over who sold more cookies.

Remember we are all human before anything!! We are all in this lifestyle for different things. I post here for how I feel and my outlook on how I live MY lifestyle.

I don't want anyone to respond to this in a negative way.. we are all adults here so act like it.

I would like to thank all who agree with me and wish everyone the best in what Life has to offer.

Malice
http://www.mastermalice.com

(in reply to darkinshadows)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: What Is A Master - 8/10/2004 4:57:01 PM   
Leonidas


Posts: 2078
Joined: 2/16/2004
Status: offline 		Now, Malice, I think I'm pretty much a regular here, and my opinions get attacked all the time. I probably woudn't even post here if my opinions were just like everyone else's. If I can't defend it, I don't post it. I do expect to have to defend it when I do post it. If I think that it's just going to be inflammatory to a degree that it wouldn't really be of much value, I refrain from posting it. Sometimes it is only when someone's opinion is attacked that it becomes clear what they mean (if they are able to defend what they are saying at all).

This may all be a joke to you, and that's fine. Fortunately collarme hasn't figured out a way to make you participate here against your will yet. Yes, we are all adults, but by the same token, this isn't a ladies' cotillion either. People here are passionate about what they think, and they express their opinions forcefully at times.

If you see the above as responding to you negatively, you will have to forgive me; obedience was never my strong suit. Yes, I think that we all should behave like grown ups, starting with you.

Oh, and by the way, what the hell are you master of, anyway? I may not be too obedient, but I am not above a little wish granting when it suits me.

< Message edited by Leonidas -- 8/10/2004 5:06:21 PM >

_____________________________

Take care of yourself

Leonidas

(in reply to MasterMalice)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: What Is A Master - 8/10/2004 6:51:04 PM   
LadyBeckett


Posts: 865
Joined: 2/4/2004
From: Scotland/Tennessee
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterMalice

quote:

MasterJayMack, what the hell are you a master of exactly?


I wish someone would ask me this question so I could shove it right down their throat.Seems to me if you are not a regular here on collarme or equal to the regulars who post, then your opinion is attacked.
What a joke. I have seen on the boards more bitch bickering then 2 girlscouts argueing over who sold more cookies.

Remember we are all human before anything!! We are all in this lifestyle for different things. I post here for how I feel and my outlook on how I live MY lifestyle.

I don't want anyone to respond to this in a negative way.. we are all adults here so act like it.

I would like to thank all who agree with me and wish everyone the best in what Life has to offer.

Malice
http://www.mastermalice.com


We lead by demonstration.

_____________________________

Lady Beckett

_______________________________________________

"Submissive boys yearn to fall into their proper place, so the rest of their life will." ~ Lady Beckett

(in reply to MasterMalice)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: What Is A Master - 8/10/2004 7:13:24 PM   
Sinergy


Posts: 9383
Joined: 4/26/2004
Status: offline 		Theoretically, one could say that a submissive is like a good jock strap.

Supportive, pays attention to the family jewels, easy to clean and maintain,
and right there in the middle of things when you need her/him there.

Sinergy

_____________________________

"There is a fine line between clever and stupid"
David St. Hubbins "This Is Spinal Tap"

"Every so often you let a word or phrase out and you want to catch it and bring it back. You cant do that, it is gone, gone forever." J. Danforth Quayle


(in reply to LadyBeckett)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: What Is A Master - 8/10/2004 10:29:33 PM   
MrThorns


Posts: 919
Joined: 6/4/2004
Status: offline 		A bad Dominant is much like a monkey...hiding in a pinata..with the candy

hoping the kids dont break through with the stick...

(Butchered quote from Kung Pow: Enter the Fist) ---Sinergy shouldnt get all the good movie quotes.

~Thorns

_____________________________

~"Do you know what the chain of command is? Its the chain I beat ya with when ya don't follow my command."

"My inner child is a mean little fucker"

(in reply to Sinergy)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: What Is A Master - 8/11/2004 1:24:52 AM   
WayHome


Posts: 237
Joined: 8/4/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: kiki blue

I think a good owner is like a good bra.

Supportive, worth the expense, helps you look and feel good about yourself and you may have to try on a few before you find the one that fits you perfectly.


Ahem, looks like you've already done the homework and found the right one. Bra at least. ;-)

(in reply to kiki blue)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: What Is A Master - 8/11/2004 1:44:00 AM   
WayHome


Posts: 237
Joined: 8/4/2004
Status: offline 		I like your description and philosophy on "Masters". It speaks to me and my style (mostly)

On the other hand you wrote this:

quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterMalice
I don't want anyone to respond to this in a negative way.. we are all adults here so act like it.

I would like to thank all who agree with me and wish everyone the best in what Life has to offer.


So adults only make positive comments. Only people who agree with you deserve gratitude?

I've criticized Leonidas before for being condescending to other people's ways, but he really only pointed out that your rules don't really work for everyone. You did qualify that it was your opinion but you also said, "what I think others Masters should be like." This places judgement against those who are not like that.

If you only want to hear from people who agree with you than this type of forum really isn't ideal. Criticism can be constructive and still not support your premise.

Even though I am from the "benevolent Master" school in the same general corner as you, I still disagree with certain parts. for example
quote:

5) A Master will only punish his submissive/slaves if she has disrespected him or has angered him after being told what not to do.


This seems silly to me. Sometimes, with some submissives, you need to punish more often than that. Some submissives will feel neglected or feel that you are being a wimp otherwise. Often punishing for a failure that might not be "disrespect" or something specifically itemized in advance is necessary and good. Being from the "benevolent Dom" camp I often get feedback from submissives to see how I can be a better Dom to them and have heard more than once, "I need to be punished more when I mess up." And yes my submissives and I do draw a distinction between pain for fun and real punishment and the request is for the later.

Basically all Leonidas said was that your rules don't work for everyone and he is correct. That doesn't mean he's not behaving like an adult.

(in reply to MasterMalice)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: What Is A Master - 8/11/2004 7:49:26 AM   
kiki blue


Posts: 315
Joined: 1/16/2004
From: Brisbane, Australia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: cajunqueen
kiki, I love this!! :) I'll have to remember that.


I think it's quite apt Feel free to use it!

_____________________________

Growing old is mandatory, growing up is optional.

(in reply to cajunqueen)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: What Is A Master - 8/11/2004 7:50:49 AM   
kiki blue


Posts: 315
Joined: 1/16/2004
From: Brisbane, Australia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: WayHome
Ahem, looks like you've already done the homework and found the right one. Bra at least. ;-)


Heh. It's a push up bra I was wearing in that pic. My friends ask me why I should need a push up bra, haven't I got enough? I simply smile and gesture towards my cleavage (weapons of mass distraction).

I think it's easier to find a good bra, only because Target doesn't have a Dom section.

_____________________________

Growing old is mandatory, growing up is optional.

(in reply to WayHome)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: What Is A Master - 8/11/2004 11:57:53 AM   
Thanatosian


Posts: 765
Joined: 5/10/2004
From: New Castle, PA
Status: offline
quote:

(Butchered quote from Kung Pow: Enter the Fist) ---Sinergy shouldnt get all the good movie quotes.


having seen Kung Pow: Enter the Fist I would not classify it as a 'good' movie (yes I will go to almost any length for a pun)

_____________________________

Apply Usual Caveats Here

An expert is somone who has made all the mistakes there are to be made

(in reply to MrThorns)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: What Is A Master - 8/11/2004 1:59:56 PM   
MasterMalice


Posts: 51
Joined: 6/7/2004
Status: offline 		Leo, Let me just start off by saying I like what you have to say here on the boards.. Makes me think and if someone can give me a better view on things then I respect that.
On the other hand you Have to read my words before wasting key strokes. Yes everyone should post their opinion But Never I repeat never be attacted for who they are.
I have no clue who anyone here is. Maybe one day I will get to know all but that takes time. So like others here who post seldom for the Fact their post might get attacked I will continue posting for what I believe to be right for Me.
And No!! Nobody's Opinion should be Attacked.. This is a discussion Board. We should all be learning from one another. Nobody has to defend their Opinion.. Maybe just explain it a little more clearly


quote:

Oh, and by the way, what the hell are you master of, anyway? I may not be too obedient, but I am not above a little wish granting when it suits me.


Glad you asked that question. I am Master of my slave.

Yes, I think that we all should behave like grown ups, starting with you.

See.. Here we go again, why cant you just write without attempting to insult..lol
I do take message boards serious only when it's positive. I feel collarme me is positive in getting out good questions with answers but feel that MUGWUMPS like yourself need to think before speaking out in so-called temper tantrums.

On closing of this. I believe the message boards is for posting Opinions and arguements should be Private in Not to ruin a good thing for All. So if anyone likes they can address me in message.

Wishing all the Best
Malice
http://www.mastermalice.com

(in reply to Thanatosian)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: What Is A Master - 8/11/2004 2:25:37 PM   
Leonidas


Posts: 2078
Joined: 2/16/2004
Status: offline 		Hi Malice,

I agree that nobody should be attacked for who they are. At the same time, I understand EString's frustration with that poster. He was saying things that set off my bullshit sensor too. If EString had said something like that to me, he would have gotten as good as he gave, and we probably would have arrived at some degree of respect for one another. Men do that sometimes. I agree that people shouldn't be attacked here. As far as opinions go, though, as I said, I certainly don't mind anyone attacking mine. If nobody's opinion ever got attacked here, it would be the first board I have ever posted on in 15 years where that was the case. I think it's healthy. I personally think that some of my best posts here have been in response to someone attacking some position or other of mine.

For what it's worth, I think that your posts are well thought out too. Earlier in this thread, I said that what you wrote would appeal to many. I just pointed out that it wouldn't fit universally.

< Message edited by Leonidas -- 8/11/2004 3:28:26 PM >

_____________________________

Take care of yourself

Leonidas

(in reply to MasterMalice)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: What Is A Master - 8/11/2004 6:46:34 PM   
ModeratorThree


Posts: 949
Status: offline 		And now that that's all cleared up I am sure we can get to the "grown up" parts of the pending conversation....



I am not replying to the last poster BTW.. I am the worst about hitting fast reply, so don't take it personally if you replied prior to me.


Mod3

(in reply to Leonidas)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: What Is A Master - 8/14/2004 3:37:49 PM   
MASTERMarcNNJ


Posts: 8
Joined: 8/12/2004
Status: offline 		I have been a Leatherman and MASTER for some 15 years and I feel I have earned that title of "MASTER" because I myself have over many years accrued much experience in the ways of being a slave, learning protocols, rules, disciplines, and to serve a MASTER.

But you have hit the point correctly on the head...a MASTER IS a Teacher, he is a Mentor to others who are beginners within the leather community. It is, and this is MY opinion, a word that has been taken advantage of and misused and misrepresented within our leather communities both gay and straight. How can one take on a "title" if they do not have the qualifications for that title.

A true leatherman is one who has the capability of teaching and instructing those who are seeking to learn. It is the MASTERs responsibility and obligation to pass on that knowledge of what the Leather community is about and what BDSM is about and what slavery is about!!

For those who do not wish to take the time and to teach those about the leather lifestyle or how be careful in a BDSM scene or how to teach someone to be a slave or a puppy etc. they then should not assume a title that does not belong to them.

I began my leather lifestyle in NYC in 1977 and I was not considered a "slave" until I passed certain tests or rituals. Then if and when I passed these tests I was considered and called a "slave" up to that point I was a submissive.

There's nothing wrong with Ritual within our Leather community and I think its one of the most important parts of our lifestyle. But unfortunately there are not too many of us who can educate or teach about those rituals.

So yes, I agree with your statements as to What Is A MASTER. A MASTER is a Teacher, an Educator and a Mentor to others.

_____________________________

MASTER Marc
House LEO, NJ

(in reply to hvnly14u)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: What Is A Master - 8/14/2004 9:23:50 PM   
stormiKnightBEAR


Posts: 306
Joined: 3/14/2004
Status: offline 		Master Marc NNJ,

One thing that your post reminded this girl with a 7 year leather "raising"/training.

It is felt that in most Leather communities, anyone can call themself
a Master, however it is not until a elder, Old Guard, or other recognized
Masters refer to you as Master that the title has been earned..

The other sign of having "earned" the title of Master is to be presented your Master's
cap by a group of your *peer* Masters. THAT is the icing, the cake and the ice cream.

Just this girl's nickle.

Respectfully,
stormi
property of Master Bear

_____________________________

owned white silk slave of TEMJI aka Master Bear

PROUD TO BE TEXAN AND AMERICAN BY BIRTH~
GOD BLESS TEXAS AND THE U.S.A !!!!

(in reply to MASTERMarcNNJ)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: What Is A Master - 8/14/2004 10:25:33 PM   
QnofH3arts


Posts: 35
Joined: 6/19/2004
Status: offline 		I probably should not be posting here because I am a Female dominant, however, I have an opinion that may be relevant... at least to Me

I trained from the bottom up, by choice. I am one of those people who simply has to know all there is to know about something that interests Me. I explored all facets of the lifestyle, except those very few that I knew from the beginning were and will always be limits to Me. In that exploration, I discovered other things that I choose never to engage in again as well as things I thought I would have no interest in that I now enjoy immensely. Very few of the people with whom I trained or explored would be recognized as "Masters" in the active community; however, I consider them Masters of the craft/ritual/behavior/etc., that they taught to Me and I am thankful that they were willing to share.

As a result of My extensive research, as well as the training and exploration, I am now able to say definitively exactly what works for Me. Does this make Me a "Master" (or Mistress, if you will)? Not over others, I don't believe, although I do believe I have the ability to master others. The reason that I believe this is twofold: First, I have mastered myself. I know who and what I am, what I enjoy, what I dislike, how far I am willing to go, the limits of My self-control, etc.. Second, I have mastered others to My satisfaction AND their's. I do not proclaim Myself to be a Master/Mistress. As I stated in another post, I do not require that anyone call Me anything other than what I inspire them to call Me. The challenge would then be inspiring them to call Me what I believe I am. I always enjoy a good challenge.

There is, maybe not unfortunately, no way of proving someone is or is not a Master; no test, no proving grounds, no rite of passage. There is no set guideline for anyone to follow regarding how to obtain the title of Master. If stormi tells Me that she serves a Master, then I can only accept that He is a Master, simply because she sees Him as so... for she would not state that if He has not mastered her, would she? And that is the bottom line: We do not have to be Master to all, but only to those we *protect, love, cherish, rule, own, train, boss around, discipline, punish, control*

*choose any or all of these that apply to your own situation and choices and add others as you please

(in reply to stormiKnightBEAR)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: What Is A Master - 8/15/2004 4:38:11 PM   
NoCalOwner


Posts: 241
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: QnofH3arts

There is, maybe not unfortunately, no way of proving someone is or is not a Master; no test, no proving grounds, no rite of passage. There is no set guideline for anyone to follow regarding how to obtain the title of Master.


I hope that all who read my posts here will always regard them as OPINION and nothing but opinion, because what you say is entirely true. I personally favor MM's definition of a Master -- it is not exactly as I would write one, but there's at least 80% overlap I think. But I also can't say that those with differing opinions are wrong, because I'm not the Divinely Sanctioned Dictionary of Kink. Most of kink is very subjective. Even the word "kink," since at some point most of us would say that something is no longer kinky but rather boringly vanilla, or, at the other extreme, pathological. There isn't, and can never be, a clear, bright line. If spanking, why not branding? If branding, why not extensive cutting? Or why not torture a bottom to death, if it's totally what they want? If it's not what they want? There's no logical cutoff, only whatever limits we have personally decided on. Myself, I don't have a sadistic bone in my body, and I regularly wonder how often the desire to give or receive pain or humiliation is a totally healthy thing. But that's just me, and I realize that for any and every opinion I have, there are millions of people out there who will violently disagree with me -- and that hundreds of them will probably read this. We each have to define for ourselves what comprises a wimp, a proper Master, and an abusive a-hole.

I feel that a good Master acts selflessly for the benefit of his sub/slave, but I'm not calling anyone wrong for disagreeing. Thanks, MasterMalice, for your very well considered post. Thanks, too, to Leonidas for some things posted in other topics which I thought were pretty f'n brilliant. It's an honor and a pleasure to be among people like all of you.

(in reply to QnofH3arts)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: What Is A Master - 8/18/2004 9:22:08 PM   
RealityFix


Posts: 156
Joined: 8/12/2004
Status: offline 		What makes you a Master is the ability to keep a slave as property, in a healthy and fulfilled condition. Prefferably for a period of many YEARS. Few manage to do so,in My experience.

( And I have ten years real life in this,starting from the bottom UP-I do NOT label myself "Old Guard" or any such nonsense-I'm not GAY.)

And different slaves need different things. While I am quite sure what the OP wrote makes perfect sense from the perspective of the more egalitarian ssc credo,not EVERY slave wants to be catered to in a more vanilla way, such as he posits.

I will outline a few things common to most serious M/s dynamics.

A Master provides and enforces *structure* The slave needs to know what is expected of her,and be trained to follow and execute it properly. This gives her a sense of security in knowing where she stands. A Master uses *discipline* in teaching, showing by example, and consitency in word and deed. One ALWAYS matches the other with perfection.....

When discipline fails, he punishes,ONLY as a last resort. If he punishes at *whim* he contradicts Himself, and appears fickle and inconsistent to the slave. ("Because I can" is a piss poor excuse to be an asshole) She now realizes he is allowing himself to be mastered by *arrogance* and he begins to lose credibility in her eyes. And a sense of fear in his mental stability and ability to excercise sound judgement begins to creep in,destroying both respect for,and and trust in him.

Few of sane mind will submit to an out of control phsychotic for very long.

A Master provides a *safe enviornment* to a slave. He will support her efforts to grow her submission and connection to him 100%. In thier journey together both should grow stronger-if one lessens in growth, it is a sign of an unhealthy imbalance.

A Master is a pardox of balanced compasion and harshness in many cases. His cruelty is offset by kindness and a sense of perspective. What he tears down, he builds up again.

And above all else this is the key.

A Master is the Master of his own MIND. Should he fail in this, he becomes a danger to others.

And yet another abusive *child* in an adult body enters the world, to do harm.

My thoughts only, I am quite sure your mileage will vary.

(in reply to NoCalOwner)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: What Is A Master - 8/22/2004 11:11:53 AM   
Sinergy


Posts: 9383
Joined: 4/26/2004
Status: offline
quote:

A Master is the Master of his own MIND. Should he fail in this, he becomes a danger to others


Hello,

I saw a person who posted that a submissive should be punished if she angers the Dominant.

From my perspective, if I allow my submissive to alter my emotional state to an emotion I dont want to feel at that particular moment, I dont consider myself Dominant in the relationship.

This was the problem I had with my first submissive; she wanted to anger me so I would punish her. She discovered after several warnings that the only true punishment for me is asking for her collar back. Although, since I tend to be extremely easy-going, this took her quite a bit of doing.

Sinergy

_____________________________

"There is a fine line between clever and stupid"
David St. Hubbins "This Is Spinal Tap"

"Every so often you let a word or phrase out and you want to catch it and bring it back. You cant do that, it is gone, gone forever." J. Danforth Quayle


(in reply to RealityFix)
Profile   Post #: 40
Page:   <<   < prev  1 [2] 3   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Master >> RE: What Is A Master Page: <<   < prev  1 [2] 3   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2024
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.125