RE: anal sex aftershock (Full Version)

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nella -> RE: anal sex aftershock (8/30/2005 7:36:45 PM)

i would agree that if you are still in alot of pain, not being able to shit or sit for days after anal sex, go see a doctor just to be sure, probably nothing to worry aboute but better safe than sorry.



BLKSIRESwench -> RE: anal sex aftershock (8/30/2005 8:05:45 PM)

i saw that one other post here mentioned having an enema prior to anal sex. i agree that this is a good idea. In fact, if i can fit in the time, i try to have a colonic (google colon hydrotherapy if you haven't heard of this) to really get cleaned out before a period of intense anal sex. It helps keep you more naturally lubricated.

That being said, lube is very important, whether natural or out of a bottle. But i disagree that you can never use too much - when my Master used too much lube the first time we had anal sex, it was SO slippery that the sensations were not nearly as pleasant for me. With a good lube, i believe that less is more.

Another good reason to get a colonic is because it will eliminate the need to . . . uh . . . well . . . eliminate for about 36-48 hours. This is helpful because once your anus has experienced this "invasion" you may have an urge to push, feeling like there is something up there to be expelled. It's important after anal sex to keep those muscles relaxed and not push unnecessarily. With a colonic you can ignore those urges, knowing that there's nothing to be concerned about.

With all that clinical stuff out of the way, i almost prefer anal sex. The sensations in the muscles are indescribable.

BLKSIREswench



nella -> RE: anal sex aftershock (8/31/2005 3:27:19 AM)

my gratest problem whit lube is that it often hurt more then, becouse the penis slide in so mutch faster, it slips in quiker then indended often.



Amaros -> RE: anal sex aftershock (8/31/2005 9:23:24 AM)

quote:

Sorry for three posts all at once. I thought about two products that may help the surface discomfort you are feeling.
1- Anal Ease ( Not during anal sex, but after) it numbs the area
2-Nupercanal - it's a spray that helps numb the area


Benzocaine is, I believe, the active ingredient in Anal-eze, also in Vagisil, a local anesthetic, cheaper and easier to find.

It's also better to go very slowly at first and use a lot of lubricant - I'm told that it helps if you orgasm first, the muscles will be more relaxed.

Basically, I suggest you take John Warrens advice, and research the topic.

Yes Euryanx, women don't have a prostrate, or rather, it coresponds to the G-Spot in women, but there are extensive nerve endings and ganglia in and around the rectum.

There aren't a lot of women where I live openly into BDSM, but when I bed a Vanilla and she starts making jokes about the paint on the ceiling peeling, I slip the tip of my finger into her ass - never known one yet that didn't stop complaining about the paint - they're usually too out of breath by the time it's over.

Oh yeah, keep those nails trimmed.



Mercnbeth -> RE: anal sex aftershock (8/31/2005 9:47:47 AM)

quote:

Benzocaine is, I believe, the active ingredient in Anal-eze, also in Vagisil, a local anesthetic, cheaper and easier to find.


it also wouldn't hurt (pardon the pun) to try Tuck's pads, available at drugstores---they are soaked in a witch hazel and water solution, a natural anesthetic.



Gauge -> RE: anal sex aftershock (8/31/2005 2:51:37 PM)

quote:

Anyway back to the original topic Ash, I have to say that I would be concerned about that "Dom" of yours. None of my buisness but I know if I had a young sub that was new to this whole thing I would not start them off giving them their first anal without lube. I can see where that may have it's place depending on how you play, different tastes and all. But not for your first time. Darlin, just because someone acts dominant, doesn't mean that they are your dominant. Either he was a little (ok a lot) inexperienced and didn't know himself, or didn't care and wanted to hurt you. Neither one would be a person that would create the sense of trust that is really at the base of all of this.


Hold the phone here. It is obvious that both of them were inexperienced at anal. Why does the responsibility fall squarely on the shoulders of the dominant if something went south? It takes two to tango.

I am really tired of the blame going to a male dominant when things just don't go quite as they should have. We aren't talking about a bondage technique here that went wrong, it was anal sex. When one leaps into something that they have no experience in it is incumbent on both people in the relationship to do a little fact finding, not just the Dom.

I will now buckle my seatbelt and prepare to get pounded for saying this.



tade -> RE: anal sex aftershock (9/1/2005 4:40:45 AM)

Well you won't get a pounding from me, you make a valid point. Just always seems to me that the Top should take care of those types of things. They want to be in control, so be in control. My point was if you can't trust a Dom to think of the simple things like lube during anal than how can you trust them with anything that may have more dire consequences later on. Just my $1.53 on it.
Tade



plantlady64 -> RE: anal sex aftershock (9/1/2005 6:31:00 AM)



quote:

Hold the phone here. It is obvious that both of them were inexperienced at anal. Why does the responsibility fall squarely on the shoulders of the dominant if something went south? It takes two to tango.

Hello There,
If I was a Dom or claimed to be more than a wanna be Dom I would be the one responsible to be sure things were safe and sane. It was the tops responsibility to find out the health consequences of His actions. Yes, they both had no experience, but she trusted him and was hurt by his neglect of understanding what he was doing to her. I feel in this life if you're a Dom/Domme you are obligated to be sure what actions you do to your sub won't really injure them in ways they are not enjoying. It would be like someone saying they took a single tail and the first time they used it it was on a sub they cut by accident. If you're the leader you need to do better than this guy obviously did.
SIncerely,
sub suzanne



Gauge -> RE: anal sex aftershock (9/1/2005 7:38:20 AM)

quote:

If I was a Dom or claimed to be more than a wanna be Dom I would be the one responsible to be sure things were safe and sane. It was the tops responsibility to find out the health consequences of His actions. Yes, they both had no experience, but she trusted him and was hurt by his neglect of understanding what he was doing to her. I feel in this life if you're a Dom/Domme you are obligated to be sure what actions you do to your sub won't really injure them in ways they are not enjoying.


OK, let's say this was a vanilla relationship... who is to blame then?

Inexperience is inexperience no matter how you slice it. And mistakes happen, sometimes harmful, sometimes not. I don't know about anyone else but I was not born with complete knowledge on how to protect a submissive from any and all harm from anything I do. The first time I had anal sex, I had no idea what I was doing and I was shown by a :::GASP::: woman how to do it. People have to learn, sadly sometimes they learn the hard way. Sometimes an accident is just an accident and not a malicious attempt by the dominant to do grievous bodily harm to their submissive.



MtPleasantsubAsh -> RE: anal sex aftershock (9/1/2005 1:45:28 PM)

i feel badly that many blams soley the Top...however i do agree that it should have been more researched....ugh..

I'm fine now, pains gone..and can poop again:">
Next time i'm insisting on lube though...
ty A/all for you help.

And..no one was insinuating that anyone was delibreatley meaning to cause harm....i think you're reading too much into people's posts..

(just my opinion)



Gauge -> RE: anal sex aftershock (9/1/2005 3:12:08 PM)

quote:

And..no one was insinuating that anyone was delibreatley meaning to cause harm....i think you're reading too much into people's posts..


Respectfully, the insinuation was there and I responded. Please understand my point, the whole the "Dom is at fault" issue feeds into the perception that the subs (read women) are victims. It is bad enough that the vanilla world views this lifestyle as abusive, we who are involved in it don't have to perpetuate that image.

I hijacked this thread and I offer my apologies but I felt it necessary to say something.

I will be posting a thread in the Ask A Master section about this issue. I really want to hear opinions about this.

Edited to ad: I am really glad that you are feeling better.



FLButtSlut -> RE: anal sex aftershock (9/1/2005 5:05:30 PM)

MtPleasantsubAsh,

In all honesty, if the lack of lube were the main problem, you would have been uncomfortable DURING the act less than after. As a first timer, it is likely that you were not as relaxed as you may have thought, causing the muscles to tense, and as mentioned previously, over exerting them just as in exercise.

I have to wonder though how the lack of lube felt for him?! Most men I know don't much enjoy the feeling a "dry hump" gives to them, or the resulting chaffing they suffer afterwards.

Lube will certainly be helpful, but also a lot of foreplay. Your being totally relaxed is going to be the most help. Your "after effects" had a great deal to do with your mind as well. Obviously, given my nick, I very much enjoy anal, and have had the pleasure of enjoying some long, forceful penetration with cock, plug, hand (no, not all at once, I am not that crazy!). The soreness I experienced after got me excited all over again remembering how thoroughly my ass was used. But even as experienced as I am, after a heavy duty round of serious anal penetration, my brain tells my body that taking a dump would be a very bad idea. It is funny how the sensation during play is wonderful, but on your basic, ordinary day....not so much.

As everyone has said, you should always be very careful about trying something new and take it slow until everyone is used to the situation.



arayofsunshine55 -> RE: anal sex aftershock (9/2/2005 12:41:15 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Gauge
Respectfully, the insinuation was there and I responded. Please understand my point, the whole the "Dom is at fault" issue feeds into the perception that the subs (read women) are victims.


Doesn't make a lot of sense to me for anyone to be looking to place blame or find fault. Shit happens. Shared responsibility to figure out what to do differently in the future seems the best course at this stage. But then I tgake full repsonsibility for my choices and the results thereof. We don't use lube and I am really new to anal. Either the juice from my cunt or my mouth are more than enough. But that's us of course.




Dracironsgirl -> RE: anal sex aftershock (9/2/2005 1:05:03 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: arayofsunshine55


quote:

ORIGINAL: Gauge
Respectfully, the insinuation was there and I responded. Please understand my point, the whole the "Dom is at fault" issue feeds into the perception that the subs (read women) are victims.


Doesn't make a lot of sense to me for anyone to be looking to place blame or find fault. Shit happens. Shared responsibility to figure out what to do differently in the future seems the best course at this stage. But then I tgake full repsonsibility for my choices and the results thereof. We don't use lube and I am really new to anal. Either the juice from my cunt or my mouth are more than enough. But that's us of course.

doesn't make any sense at all to place blame on anyone., the idea that there might be is rediculous to this girl, maybe it's just me here but where does blame fit in. please enlighten this confused girl, i don't understand that one. no offense meant please. why is the Dom at fault ??? whew



plantlady64 -> RE: anal sex aftershock (9/2/2005 7:50:40 AM)

quote:

doesn't make any sense at all to place blame on anyone., the idea that there might be is ridiculous to this girl, maybe it's just me here but where does blame fit in. please enlighten this confused girl, I don't understand that one. no offense meant please. why is the Dom at fault ??? whew

Hello There,
I don't think it's either person’s fault. It's just more so in D/s relationships than in vanilla ones, it's the Dom's responsibility to learn about the acts they choose to do with their subs. In a vanilla world it would be more both their responsibility to learn before play, but in my opinion in a D/s relationship your sub/slave walks on your path. Often the sub needs to trust her ability to let the Dom lead. I know they are not to be held accountable for accidental injuries, as we are often in very volatile positions. But in my heart I feel being educated in the play you undertake is vital and necessary for both partners. At the time something new is introduced the top should be responsible for being sure at least one of them has had some form of training or learning about the safety protocols of their proposed actions. If not it's the blind leading the blind to me, and that's just not sane in my book.
Sincerely,
sub suzanne



Niran -> RE: anal sex aftershock (9/2/2005 8:42:28 PM)

What I know is this-While it does indeed take 2 to tango, it is still the Dom's responsibility to know what they are doing. Lack of experience is no exuse for lack of research. You cannot get past the first line of ANY how-to article regarding anal sex without the word "lube" showing up.


Niran



TexasMaam -> RE: anal sex aftershock (9/3/2005 11:32:37 AM)

ash,
I'm surprised no one mentioned something as simple as Lanacane here, or Preparation H suppositories to ease the internal discomfort. Both are avialabe at any drugstore or can be found in the pharmaceutical isles of any grocery store. Yes, they can both be messy if your goal is to have more intimate activity immediately, but what we're talking about here is your comfort and safety. The inflatable donuts for comfort seating are also available at most pharmacies to accommodate those with medical needs after anal surgeries or procedures, they aren't hard to find; call a local pharmacist and ask.
Anal tears are a serious matter, whether they occur at the anal sphincter or inside along the lining of the epithelial layer of the large colon!
If a sub of mine complained of such discomfort, I'd recommend immediate application of some suppositories for the internal inflammation, and some Lanacane or Anal Eze to stop the pain you're experiencing from the sphincter being stretched. If you're either bleeding or in so much pain that you can't pass a bm within 24 to 36 hours after the fact, it's time to cast aside your pride and go see your doctor. Be honest and just tell him you accomodated your boyfriend's desire for anal sex and now you're suffering; he/she will understand. Talk to your Dom about the struggle you're having after the fact, and next time, as suggested in emails from others here, start with a small plug and work up to something 'his' size gradually, use plenty of lube, go slow and take it easy. Ultimately, you are the one who must take care of YOU! John Warren's reading suggestion is an excellent and frank discussion of precautions like these, and is well worth the time and expense. Eventually, with the right approach and 'training' to accommodate anal play, you can finally relax enough to enjoy it. An anal climax can be as exciting and satisfying for a sub as it is for her Dom. Good luck! Texas Maam



tigress31047 -> RE: anal sex aftershock (9/3/2005 12:36:09 PM)

Hi E/everyone...I agree with the enema before anal sex whenever possible..also .try a product called " Astroglide" it can be purchased at any drugstore ..it is the best lubricant I have ever run across.

tigress



tigress31047 -> RE: anal sex aftershock (9/3/2005 12:43:24 PM)

i'm sorry .. i just went and reread some of the other replys to this post ...While agree the Dom/ Top is resopnsible for a lot of things , it is my ass afterall.. if i am going to let someone put somethng as large a a cock in it i'm gonna be damn sure i did the research and have the lube available and discuss the matter before hand...this is just like saying someone got pregnant because the man didin't wear a condom. its 2 way street ..both parties need and should be aware of what is going to happen and what is needed to make it a s safe and fun as possible

tigress



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