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Stephann -> RE: Dangerous Dom/mes and should we have them highlighted? (1/21/2008 10:24:13 AM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: MissHarlet
In theory a "Dangerous do not play with" list would be helpful and wonderful, but there is no way that it would be abuse free. There is no way to police it and keep out names being listed out of spite or vindictiveness. As others have said "define dangerous" . What I may consider dangerous others may thrive with. It is a shame it is this way .. but this is one of the no win times.
Hi there M Harlet,
I quoted you, because they eloquantly state what I feel is wrong with the attitude that blacklists are necessary.
As we increasingly live in a world where we expect our government to take care of us, we feel less and less inclined (or even comfortable) making determinations of what is safe or not safe for us. "Look both ways before crossing the street." Looking both ways, somehow, would suggest that as long as there were no cars, we are free from the responsibility to look down for holes in the ground (for example.) A tort driven society where we sue anyone and everyone because we hurt ourselves (doing something that wasn't explicitly stated in the disclaimer we shouldn't) contributes to this.
The reality is that nobody's opinion about a 'bad' dominant (or submissive, or ex boy/girlfriend) is worth much more than gossip. A person who truly is dangerous, because they engage in illegal and immoral activities (i.e. someone who has AIDS and willfully lies about it) should simply be reported to the police. Beyond that, I fully believe that if the full extent of my interests and tastes were made availible for the public's BDSM world's (or at the very least, this little community here on CM.com) scrutiny, there's a good chance the group as a whole would seek to exclude me. Yet I've met several people from here who still have all their fingers and toes, and even managed to keep ahold of a particular slave who shares many of my darker tastes.
Blacklists say a lot more about a group's desire to exclude 'predators', and a lot less about that group's desire to promote a healthy lifestyle. The day I stop having my own common sense to rely on in dealing with others, is the day I should stop interacting with others: not start relying on others to tell me who I should or shouldn't interact with.
Regards,
Stephan
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