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LordShadow -> RE: Slave Safety words? (1/22/2008 1:56:07 PM)
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After having reread my post, and what others have posted as well, I feel I need to add a little more to what I said about not using safe words in my Home.
I do not use them, this is true. But as I said it is not often I play with girls from outside the Home.
I have been called extreme by some of my Gorean collegues, I do not simply practice D/s, it is M/s at a depth that scares the hell out of most.
A girl coming into my Home understands well in advance how my Home is run and the dynamic that exisits here. They have assignments that must be completed prior to their arrival that give me an indepth look intothem, their past, their level of experience, etc. Then there are phone interviews and questions that dig even deeper. In these interviews I listen for things that I may have missed or were not revealed to me in the assigments. and I dig a little more.
By the time a girl gets here, I have a very strong sense of who she is, why she is, and why she has come.
While she is in my Home I continue to watch, listen, and dig.
When S/M play begins it progresses slowly, listening, watching, and asking questions. I take them to the edge, and watch them. Sometimes I will take them beyond what they thought they could endure and sometimes not, depends on the girl and how I read her.
I tell this not to justify myself or promote my Home, but because I don't want anyone who doesn't know what they are doing to decide to play without safe words. There is more to it than picking up a flogger or whip and deciding to see how far you can push her, you have KNOW what you are playing with.
Doing so is a form of edge play and can be extremely dangerous, both in the sense of physical and emotional harm.
Men, if you are new to the BDSM scene, swallow your pride and give the wench a safeword, set up guide lines for its use and PAY ATTENTION!!!
Girls, your physical and emotional well being are in his hands, don't over estimate his experience, or your own.
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