The BDSM continuum... (Full Version)

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yrstocollar -> The BDSM continuum... (1/23/2008 9:14:22 AM)

I've had this long-term belief in the gay continuum... ie that sexuality is fluid and people move up and down the continuum as they move through life, have new experiences, meet different people and so on. At any given time I think some people are 100% gay and some are 100% straight with most in between... perhaps more towards one end of the scale than the other but still open to moving in the other direction if the right situation or person presents themselves.

So I was wondering... do you feel this applies to the bdsm world too?

I notice too that many people put themselves in the dom or sub category rather than a switch category even though they're open to switching. This makes me feel that more people than admit to it are really switches. Is anyone really just one of the 2 ends 100% of the time?

If you were to apply a percentage of domliness or subbiness to yourself what would it be? ie I feel dommey about 75% of the time...



LordVelvet -> RE: The BDSM continuum... (1/23/2008 9:22:46 AM)

I would have to agree with your statement. I am about 90% Dom but it can change given the timing of things. Just My thoughts.
LordVelvet

added: I forget to say nice topic btw.



Missokyst -> RE: The BDSM continuum... (1/23/2008 9:28:39 AM)

I consider myself a decent top, but not a switch.  For me the difference between the two is intent.  I have no desire to rule someone even for a scene.  My desire is strictly to make someone moan in pleasure for their pleasure.  The only thing I get from it is the knowlege I am making someone happy.  No part of me wants to control.  I don't get a sexual charge from topping, or an emotional one.  It's just a task done for another.
So, maybe 1% in me could be considered a switch if pushed to answer.
I am however, 100% straight. 
Kyst



Dnomyar -> RE: The BDSM continuum... (1/23/2008 9:45:16 AM)

I feel to have a good working relationship both should be at least 90% in their choice of Dom/Submissive. You have to have some give and take.  



Shawn1066 -> RE: The BDSM continuum... (1/23/2008 9:48:47 AM)

I disagree with your continuum ideas, personally.  There is no desire in me to be dominant, and I couldn't even be dominant if asked to.  I feel subby um, probably all the time, honestly.  I even feel subby when I'm unknowingly being unresponsive due to stress once in a blue moon.



Leatherist -> RE: The BDSM continuum... (1/23/2008 9:54:39 AM)

I really only submit when forced to, by things like work and government.

No desire whatsoever to submit to someone in an intimate relationship.



thetammyjo -> RE: The BDSM continuum... (1/23/2008 10:07:18 AM)

For me, it's not a continuum in role so much as a range of activities and levels of authority I'm interested over time.

However I do believe that switching between roles at some point in life is the norm for most people. At least it is for almost everyone I've met in meatlife. Most does NOT equal all people or even natural.



domiguy -> RE: The BDSM continuum... (1/23/2008 10:10:15 AM)

We at Domiguy Industries have just published all of our research and results from our ten year study of "The Hunger Continuum." You slide up and down the continuum as you move through life and further away from your last meal. At some point I think some people are 100% full and some are 100% hungry with most others somewhere in between.

I have spent years researching "The Hunger Continuum." It has been some of the most rewarding work that a person could ask for.

It has become evident that "for most people" the continuum as it applies to hunger would not produce the same results if an attempt were made to plot one's own sexuality or their view or interest in bdsm upon the continuum.

It was found to be of interest that the results obtained when studying "The Dump Continuum" almost identically paralleled the results found within the "Hunger Continuum" .....Who would have ever thought that there might be a connection twix the two?"



yrstocollar -> RE: The BDSM continuum... (1/23/2008 10:19:36 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: thetammyjo

For me, it's not a continuum in role so much as a range of activities and levels of authority I'm interested over time.



that's an interesting way of looking at it... so perhaps there could be 2 scales... the first is how you generally view yourself but on a day to day basis could be scaled differently? Like today (this week, this month) I'm feeling about 10% dommey coz I'm interested in pursuing a particular activity but I usually feel 90%?



faerytattoodgirl -> RE: The BDSM continuum... (1/23/2008 10:21:52 AM)

sub all the way..and not a slave because im not a doormat and will never be treated as property since im a real person with feelings, wants, needs, desires.

never dominant in any way.  and i am 100% gay.  will not serve any male.  but can be friends with them.



TMaster2 -> RE: The BDSM continuum... (1/23/2008 10:25:35 AM)

I feel total Dom, but there are occassions when my wife will want to turn and do a little spanking on me, so I let her have her fun, but that never gives me sub feelings. 

But on a bit deeper level, sometimes (many times, actually) I do "want to please" in that I want the sub/slave to find enjoyment in what I do.  I find this makes her more responsive and wanting to cum back for more.  I certainly do not want her to ever be reluctant to return.  So if this desire to please is something of a sub mind, then I suppose I have that part most all the time, but wouldn't know how to assign a percentage to it.



Shawn1066 -> RE: The BDSM continuum... (1/23/2008 10:30:56 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: faerytattoodgirl

sub all the way..and not a slave because im not a doormat and will never be treated as property since im a real person with feelings, wants, needs, desires.



I'm a slave.  I'm not a doormat.  I'm treated as a real person with feelings, wants, needs, and desires.  I'm also property.

I have no problem with what you said, by any stretch of the imagination.  Just thought I'd give my slant to things.



yrstocollar -> RE: The BDSM continuum... (1/23/2008 10:33:13 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: TMaster2
But on a bit deeper level, sometimes (many times, actually) I do "want to please" in that I want the sub/slave to find enjoyment in what I do.  I find this makes her more responsive and wanting to cum back for more.  I certainly do not want her to ever be reluctant to return.  So if this desire to please is something of a sub mind, then I suppose I have that part most all the time, but wouldn't know how to assign a percentage to it.


I feel that way too but can't figure out if I'm being a caring dom or being subby but topping... I feel a bit of both at the time to be honest! Well I am a switch...




junecleaver -> RE: The BDSM continuum... (1/23/2008 10:35:07 AM)

quote:

ality is fluid and people move up and down the continuum as they move through life, have new experiences, meet different people and so on. At any given time I think some people are 100% gay and some are 100% straight with most in between... perhaps more towards one end of the scale than the other but still open to moving in the other direction if the right situation or person presents themselves.

So I was wondering... do you feel this applies to the bdsm world too?

I notice too that many people put themselves in the dom or sub category rather than a switch category even though they're open to switching. This makes me feel that more people than admit to it are really switches. Is anyone really just one of the 2 ends 100% of the time?

If you were to apply a percentage of domliness or subbiness to yourself what would it be? ie I feel dommey about 75% of the time...


I think it's probably because the term switch isn't really all that clear.  Does it mean you switch in an authority transfer?  Or do you switch in terms of S&M?  Or both? 

I will probably never look for a romantic partner to dominate, because I do not like that role in relationships.  I wouldn't mind topping the right person with the right implement.  I'm not sure if that makes me a switch or not, but because I was searching for a LT Dominant partner, I listed myself as submissive. 



Shawn1066 -> RE: The BDSM continuum... (1/23/2008 10:35:42 AM)

I don't believe submissives have a monopoly on being caring and pleasing. :-p

I don't enjoy pleasing because I'm submissive.  I enjoy pleasing because I'm a good person.  I don't believe it's a dominant/submissive thing.



yrstocollar -> RE: The BDSM continuum... (1/23/2008 10:36:07 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: faerytattoodgirl

sub all the way..and not a slave because im not a doormat and will never be treated as property since im a real person with feelings, wants, needs, desires.



why does your profile say slave then???



yrstocollar -> RE: The BDSM continuum... (1/23/2008 10:38:52 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: junecleaver

I think it's probably because the term switch isn't really all that clear.  Does it mean you switch in an authority transfer?  Or do you switch in terms of S&M?  Or both? 



I switch in both... but find it much more difficult to switch roles with authority transfer so maybe I have less fluidity with that side of things...



yrstocollar -> RE: The BDSM continuum... (1/23/2008 10:40:28 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Shawn1066

I don't believe submissives have a monopoly on being caring and pleasing. :-p

I don't enjoy pleasing because I'm submissive.  I enjoy pleasing because I'm a good person.  I don't believe it's a dominant/submissive thing.



phew! that clears up my little identity crisis then [8D]



faerytattoodgirl -> RE: The BDSM continuum... (1/23/2008 10:43:43 AM)

more search results.  profile explains who i am and what i want.



yrstocollar -> RE: The BDSM continuum... (1/23/2008 10:45:22 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: faerytattoodgirl

more search results.  profile explains who i am and what i want.


faery nuff!



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