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TexasMaam -> RE: Erectile dysfunction and subs? (9/5/2005 2:55:51 AM)
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Your study controls sound GREAT to Me. I'd love to see the results of that study! I wonder where there's a University we can send those paramters to? <laffing. ED in and of itself is not a condition that bothers Me, if the submissive is sincere, devoted, intelligent, humorous and active. I suppose it helps that I can orgasm while simply flogging a sub. My ability to orgasm with our without clitoral stimulus or penetration certainly would take the pressure off of a fellow insofar as performance issues are concerned. What interests Me with regard to ED, intimacy and it's impact upon a BDSM relationship is the subs response. Without the erectile response to give me a benchmark as to what the sub finds erotic or mentally/physically stimulating, it forces Me to look deeper into the psychological and emotional needs of the submissive male heart. In a way, it's liberating and deeply gratifying to know that a sub keeps wanting and needing contact with Me for more than sexual stimulation. Because I know from experience that men with ED can cum without an erection and can find satisfaction and fulfillment without an erection, it makes the exploration of our BDSM activities even more entertaining. I think it's important for a man to re-evaluate his identity when coping with ED. A key objective is to take him back in time and find out who he was before he ever engaged in sexual contact. Who he became after that point in time is always the sum total of who he thinks he is today. I love to watch a man metamorphosize into the boy he once was, or might have been, when it dawns on him that perhaps there was more to life than he ever realized. One has to lead him to recollect what his interests were, hobbies were, dreams were, before that fateful meeting that led him to become a husband and a father. The act of sex is such an ingrained part of a man's identity that it takes time, and considerable effort, for him to 'rediscover' himself without sex. A man with ED needs to come full circle, and finally reconsider old boyhood dreams, interests, activities that were such a part of his personality before he reached his teens, when everything changed. Suddenly, as a teen, a man's focus changes completely. Men develop lifelong careers, pursue educations or professional training, all based on who they were with an erect cock and sexual pursuits and activities, they identify as a 'partner', 'husband', 'father', when their primary interest before that time might have been say science, or something they did at home with their mothers or their fathers: cooking, gardening, reading, music, mechanical repairs, who knows! It's a fascinating journey to watch the engineer or the attorney rediscover a deeply motivational interest they forgot long ago; history, or art, or a sport long forgotten. I'm sure that My ability to take him there satisfies something maternal in Me, in return. A man with ED tends to forget how much he has to offer and can destroy himself with negative self talk; it is deeply satisfying to help him rediscover his manhood in an entirely new light. It is even more satisfying when he hands over that new identity to Me in trust, honor, devotion and complete submission. Texas Maam
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