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RE: Words or Pictures? - 9/2/2005 6:41:37 AM

Nuke718

Posts: 240
Joined: 8/2/2005
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Both words and images have value, but their value varies from individual to individual. For me, I can live without a picture forever if I am just talking on the boards, chatting, or e-mailing a person. Now if they have provided me a picture I will usually do the same as courtesy. But it is the flow of information and ideas that is most important to me in the cyber world.

But, if I am talking to a woman, and their is a potential to meet in the real world, I will send at least a facial picture even without being asked. I would LIKE one in return, but don't push for it. The big reason it is more important IRL is that I at least build up a mental image based on our discussions, and would like it to be accurate. Shock at not recognizing somebody you have talked to for weeks when you meet them in real life is hardly complimentary.

Nuke }:-

(in reply to MsSonnetMarwood)

Post #: 21

RE: Words or Pictures? - 9/2/2005 7:16:23 AM

Faramir

Posts: 1043
Joined: 2/12/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MsSonnetMarwood

I don't think it's that cut and dry...and I think alot depends on what your goal of talking is.

If it's *just* conversation and nothing more, then a pic isn't necessary in my opinion.

If you are talking with an idea towards finding out if this is someone you might meet (and it is reasonable to expect that), then sooner rather than later, sharing a vanilla pic after a good conversation or two is in order. I say "vanilla" because if your first pic to me is a genital shot? You're gone. Some level of physical attraction is necessary....it can also help to back of up some of the information given in conversation (i.e. age, gender, etc)

I went through about two years online trying to meet my "one." One of the things I found was that if a person was unable for whatever crazy reason to produce an "I'm me picture" (a pic taken to show identity) or go on cam, they were not interested in any RL meeting, but were instead using a persona on the net to explore their submissive feelings via phone and correspondence.

So in that sense, and at that time, pictures/cam were crucial. Now that I am just corresponding with people I could give a rat's ass. A majority of the people I correspond with at collarme.com don't have a pic up - I don't know what they look like, but they have something interesting to say.

(in reply to MsSonnetMarwood)

Post #: 22

RE: Words or Pictures? - 9/2/2005 8:57:53 AM

WickedKev

Posts: 305
Joined: 11/26/2004
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For trust only words will do but I still like to look people in the eyes when they say those words. I couldn't care less if anyone had a picture or not unless I was going to meet them r/l for any reason. If they offer me a picture I will accept it but that is up to the person.

(in reply to Faramir)

Post #: 23

RE: Words or Pictures? - 9/2/2005 10:07:31 AM

harmony3709

Posts: 292
Joined: 11/15/2004
Status: offline

I highly value words and the way they are expressed or the ability to express them far over an image, which would have very little bearing to me. When I was chatting and meeting with regard to a potential relationship, then the exception to that would be a nude shot or genital shot or something of a BDSM overly-dramatic shot, then I would be immediately turned off anyway and would not likely bother to correspond or chat.

I also value the ongoing correspondence or chat versus just reading a profile and an email or two. I have corresponded with those who have a very well written profile and initial email, but after that, they seem to have nothing to say or almost seem to be a different person. I truly enjoy the ability to not just have a good opening line, but can carry on an ongoing intelligent and interesting conversation.

Blessed be,
harmony

(in reply to WickedKev)

Post #: 24

RE: Words or Pictures? - 9/2/2005 11:35:58 AM

Kasia

Posts: 442
Joined: 6/25/2005
From: The Coast of Adria
Status: offline

Picture tells me would I like someone physically and the words tell me what his/her soul looks like.
Both are equally important to me.

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Kassia

(in reply to harmony3709)

Post #: 25

RE: Words or Pictures? - 9/2/2005 11:36:48 AM

pinkpleasures

Posts: 1114
Status: offline

quote:

OK - so this might have been the obvious - but it led me to think - how many people here value the image above the writing? Cam aside - do you believe all that you see - or is that which is written a much more informative medium to comprehending that to whom you have 'met'? And does being a BDSM site make a difference?

dark~angel

Very few Doms or Masters have a pic on profile as far as i can tell; i sometimes see "will provide pic upon request" but still find resistance on Their part to send a pic. i understand some P/pl fear being outted and thus have no pic..but i think Doms and Masters labor under a misconception that while a slave or submissive must be attractive (physically) to Them, there is no quid pro quo, and thus, little need to send Their picture.

i find the same resistance in discussing core values and such. Men often have written profiles that state "searching for a slave" and little else. Few Men complete a profile in such a way as to see Them as whole people. When i ask, in email, "what are Your values and how do they affect Your daily living", some Men can answer, but many cannot. i think to some degree, some of the Men believe we are all seeking mindless, impersonal sex, preferably kinky, and that is why questions about Them as people seem to be off-point.

BTW, i have had Men write me and say "from your picture i see that you are a [fill in the blank]...but there's little evidence They have read my profile. This sort of confuses me...i do not understand the strong reaction to my pic....nor the Men skipping over my profile.

i do not wish to be negative...many Men are providing well-written profiles and freely answer questions put to Them, as well as providing a picture. It is from this group that i hope to find my One.

pinkpleasures

< Message edited by pinkpleasures -- 9/2/2005 11:38:05 AM >

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(in reply to darkinshadows)

Post #: 26

RE: Words or Pictures? - 9/2/2005 11:44:04 AM

pinkpleasures

Posts: 1114
Status: offline

quote:

A perfect example of the exact opposite would be Iron Bear. I have never seen a picture or even a drawing of him but I think of him as intelligent, articulate and competant.

OscarHargraves

i have seen IronBear's picture -- taken with His wife -- and he is a total Hottie. This phenom really causes me curiosity. All my Dom and Master friends are Hotties -- at least to me -- but i never considered Their physicality when forming friendships. Maybe i just see Them as gorgeous because i have the priviledge of knowing Them and being Their friend.

pinkpleasures

_____________________________

(in reply to OscarHargraves)

Post #: 27

RE: Words or Pictures? - 9/2/2005 2:18:22 PM

LadyAngelika

Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
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quote:

how many people here value the image above the writing?

I've had the priveledge to see your picture and you are a stunning woman. But what made you beautiful to me first were your words. There are "stunning women" all over the Internet, but what goes on deep inside you, angel, is truly unique and wonderful.

Now that said, when it comes time to finding a match, physical attraction is important. I have experienced dissapointment when I've had great communication with someone and feel a certain attraction mentally, then see their pic and feel no attraction physically. That always sucks. So pictures sooner is good. In fact, for me, meeting sooner is the best. Pictures don't give all the info.

- LA

< Message edited by LadyAngelika -- 9/2/2005 2:21:13 PM >

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(in reply to darkinshadows)

Post #: 28

RE: Words or Pictures? - 9/2/2005 3:41:08 PM

KittenWithaTwist

Posts: 490
Joined: 8/3/2005
Status: offline

This is a dating site. At least 85% of the people on this site are looking for someone to have a relationship with. And guess what? It's difficult to have a relationship (that is more than platonic) with someone you aren't attracted to. I like pictures. I also like words. If you're damn hot, but can't string five words together coherently, I won't be attracted to you. But similarly, if you can quote interesting court cases and discuss the beauty of a Cindy Sherman photo set, but you look like someone who was attacked by several savage beasts, I'm less likely to find you attractive.

Do I ask for pictures? Sure, if they aren't already provided, and I'm interested, then yep, I'll ask for a picture.

Can you really consider that a bad thing? It can sometimes be hurtful to be rejected because of your picture, but as long as they aren't asking for nudity, I'm okay with sharing.

(in reply to darkinshadows)

Post #: 29

RE: Words or Pictures? - 9/2/2005 5:04:35 PM

FLButtSlut

Posts: 344
Joined: 3/17/2005
Status: offline

Physical and mental attraction are both very important. I have gotten in the habit of trying to find the mental attraction first. Too often, I have seen pictures of the "hotties" and they have been such asses, that it was worse than disappointing, it became quite aggravating.

I want to see a profile that tells me something about a person more than the "looking for slave" crap. After all, aren't we all here looking for something, a partner, a playmate, friends? This part of my life is private. I don't go to munches, clubs, parties. Most people who know me have no idea, and I like to keep it that way, so no picture on my profile.

The picture vs. words is a double edge sword. When we open a profile and the first thing we see is a completely gorgeous person, I think we often hope that they have a great profile that will stimulate us further. Likewise, when we read a profile (for those of us that actually do read them) and it is well written, informative, thoughtful and alluring, that also gives us hope.

The gorgeous one turns out dumber than a stump and ignorant to boot. The thoughtful, alluring one looks like, as Kitten said, someone attacked by several beasts. In both instances we are disappointed. It is all about priorities. Personally, the thoughtful, alluring guy who is average looking, but nothing you would drool over just to look at is going to attract me more than the gorgeous stupid guy. We all look the same in the dark (or blindfolded), so it helps if they can carry on a conversation.

All of this goes only towards the situations where an eventual meeting is the idea. If things are never going to go anywhere beyond friendship, you could look like you were used and abused and put away wet, I couldn't care less.

(in reply to KittenWithaTwist)

Post #: 30

RE: Words or Pictures? - 9/2/2005 7:02:51 PM

NakedOnMyChain

Posts: 2431
Joined: 11/29/2004
From: Indiana
Status: offline

I think that both writing and appearances make up my critique of a person. I tend to weigh my friendships much more heavily on how a person expresses themselves than what they look like, but, on the opposite side of the coin, I wouldn't want to befriend someone that obviously doesn't care for themselves. I don't mean people with weight problems, I don't mean you're having a bad hair day, I mean downright dirty. Then again, if someone is adamant about not letting me see them, it makes me wonder why. I figure that if someone is well-balanced and well-written, they should have nothing to hide. I most certainly don't believe everything I see, but I don't believe everything I hear, either. I judge according to both, and instinct.

_____________________________

"Oh, it's torture, but I'm almost there."
~The Cure

"I ask for so little. Just fear me, love me, do as I say, and I will be your slave."
~The Labyrinth

(in reply to darkinshadows)

Post #: 31

RE: Words or Pictures? - 9/2/2005 7:53:30 PM

slavedesires

Posts: 669
Joined: 3/2/2004
Status: offline

quote:

This was - what do you gain more from - the image, or the written/what is said.

The profile, the return message, the interest.

i would like to know i have great value apart from my image.
i would like others to know they have great value apart from their image.

my avatar is of Noddy. No one has ever asked why.
So even the reason someone chooses an avatar image can be of most interest to me.

my 2 cents in collective jar....

~~shy

_____________________________

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"i am the keeper of fragile things and i have kept what is indisolvable."
....the greatest gift.....vulnerability

(in reply to darkinshadows)

Post #: 32

RE: Words or Pictures? - 9/2/2005 10:55:56 PM

brightspot

Posts: 3052
Status: offline

Hello darl~angel,

I personally like the written word first, being a lover of writing myself.
If I find myself interested in the way this person thinks and/or their intellect and it is nice sometimes to discover that through the written word. I also appreciate someone just having a simple beautiful way of expressing themselves through words.

So I do look for what is in the words before going further to wanting to see what the person behind the words looks like.

But I have to admit I am also quite enthralled, when I run into that uniqely beautiful face, like MsN's.

But definately words turn me on first in most instances.

*Brightspot

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But..."May at Least One person have a sense of Humor!" ~KML.

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(in reply to darkinshadows)

Post #: 33

RE: Words or Pictures? - 9/3/2005 1:36:14 AM

mastermmike

Posts: 4
Joined: 8/15/2005
Status: offline

I value the image more than the writing. a picture says a thousand words and it is a much faster understood medium. how many people complain that others don't read their profile??? tons, b/c your profiles are long and boring, while you picture is short and sweet. have you ever heard anyone complain "geez they never look at my photo... those asses." ;)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
also, while i'm at it. let me point out there is a severe shortage of female slaves that reply to emails at all. and yes, i do read every word you write before i hit send.

(in reply to MsSonnetMarwood)

Post #: 34

RE: Words or Pictures? - 9/3/2005 3:14:38 AM

BlkTallFullfig

Posts: 5585
Joined: 6/25/2004
Status: offline

quote:

a picture says a thousand words and it is a much faster understood medium. how many people complain that others don't read their profile??? tons, b/c your profiles are long and boring, while you picture is short and sweet. have you ever heard anyone complain "geez they never look at my photo... those asses." ;)

This guy is deep.

quote:

while i'm at it. let me point out there is a severe shortage of female slaves that reply to emails at all. and yes, i do read every word you write before i hit send.

I'm shocked and appalled the babes aren't replying and immediately falling at your feet you're so consice and eloquent. M

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a.k.a. SexyBossyBBW
""Touching was, and still is, and will always be, the true revolution" Nikki Giovanni

(in reply to mastermmike)

Post #: 35

RE: Words or Pictures? - 9/3/2005 4:10:12 AM

lovingmaster45

Posts: 261
Joined: 9/16/2004
Status: offline

For me it all depends on what I am seeking from that person. If it is just to exchange ideas, no pic is necessary. If there is going to be a possible meeting...get me a face pic which shows your eyes and do it NOW. I am an "eyes" person. People have posted numerous threads on this site about "how to spot a sud"; well I can do it and it is the eyes.

If I am looking for a possible partner and I am looking at the profiles, I am on the look out for vague locations...a state can be a very large place. If you don't want me to know you live in Raleigh or Charlotte; then you are not "out there" enough for me and I suspect you are just a cyber slut wasting people's time. If I see a face pic and a profile that has obviously taken some thought and time to construct, then I am impressed and will likely take a "shot across the bow".

This site probably has more people who are only here to exchange ideas and get their jollies of with a keyboard than ony other; and that is why I am on here. I like ideas; but when I go into play mode, shut up and get naked.

_____________________________

Master Jerry

(in reply to BlkTallFullfig)

Post #: 36

RE: Words or Pictures? - 9/3/2005 9:43:38 AM

EmeraldSlave2

Posts: 3645
Joined: 1/1/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: BlkTallFullfig

quote:

a picture says a thousand words and it is a much faster understood medium. how many people complain that others don't read their profile??? tons, b/c your profiles are long and boring, while you picture is short and sweet. have you ever heard anyone complain "geez they never look at my photo... those asses." ;)
This guy is deep.

quote:

while i'm at it. let me point out there is a severe shortage of female slaves that reply to emails at all. and yes, i do read every word you write before i hit send.
I'm shocked and appalled the babes aren't replying and immediately falling at your feet you're so consice and eloquent. M

Was this really necessary? Unprovoked condescension and patronization which does nothing to further the topic itself?

(in reply to BlkTallFullfig)

Post #: 37

RE: Words or Pictures? - 9/3/2005 10:56:57 AM

darkinshadows

Posts: 4145
Joined: 6/2/2004
From: UK
Status: offline

Em - and I am sure I will be corrected if I am wrong - that M'Lady M wasn't being patronising at all - She was only responding in the same jovial(SP?) manner that mike had written in -

(Welcome to the forums BTW Mike *waves*)

And knowing m'Lady M as I have grown accustomed to her posts on the board, I doubt she was being condecending but more ironic - at leasts, that is how I interpret this post from my past experience of her often helpful and wise posts.

For me, both Mike and m'lady Ms banter highlighted something I had not noticed before.
Mikes quite correct -

quote:

"geez they never look at my photo... those asses." ;)

Thats actually quite an apt point and not something I had even considered and made me smile - no one ever complains of getting mail from people because of the photograph - its always about the profile itself... making me think... many thanks to the both of you!

Peace and Love

_____________________________

.dark.

...i surrender to gravity and the unknown...

(in reply to EmeraldSlave2)

Post #: 38

RE: Words or Pictures? - 9/3/2005 11:19:03 AM

anthrosub

Posts: 843
Joined: 6/2/2004
Status: offline

Both are of equal but limited value. I think of them as introductory information as the person will most certainly be much, much more in person. Either can be manipulated or completely false, so there's always that possibility to deal with. Pictures show me what the person looks like and whether I'd possibly be attracted to them physically or not. Words give me a sense of their awareness and values (or lack thereof) which are essential if a relationship is to be pursued.

A profile is like a jigsaw puzzle with most of the pieces missing. The author must decide which pieces to include to give the best representation possible. After contact, the rest of the pieces get filled in.

anthrosub

_____________________________

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(in reply to darkinshadows)

Post #: 39

RE: Words or Pictures? - 9/3/2005 11:28:47 AM

darkinshadows

Posts: 4145
Joined: 6/2/2004
From: UK
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I am sorry to have heard you have had such problems caitlyn - but your personality shines through and I believe that what your going through now just makes you stronger - I know that sounds cliche but it is true.

Thanks for your kind words, they are a blessings - and thank you for your input - your advice on not doing something if it isnt comfortable to yourself is spot on...

Peace and Love

_____________________________

.dark.

...i surrender to gravity and the unknown...

(in reply to caitlyn)

Post #: 40

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