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2 subs 1 house - 1/27/2008 5:02:21 AM

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is it possible for two subs to have a relation ship? what would be the complications/bennefit from such a relationship? who would take charge? if one sub requested the other to dominate him/her would that also be considered an act of submission and would the dominate one feel comfortable being the controlling half of that scenario?

RE: 2 subs 1 house - 1/27/2008 5:31:35 AM

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quote:

is it possible for two subs to have a relation ship?

Sure it is; why not?

quote:

what would be the complications/bennefit from such a relationship?

having a sister; having a best friend; having a play mate; the list could go on and on. The beneftits/and complications are no different than they would be in any other relationship; regardless of the gender of the submissives.

quote:

who would take charge?

Let me see. Two submissives. Who would be in charge. Hmmmm. Tough one. I got it. How about the..........DOMINANT?

quote:

if one sub requested the other to dominate him/her would that also be considered an act of submission and would the dominate one feel comfortable being the controlling half of that scenario?

it would be anything the parties involved wanted it to be. It's really not a question that can be answered; everyone is different and everyone handles their relationships in a different way. People tend to do what is right for them on a personal level.

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RE: 2 subs 1 house - 1/27/2008 5:38:20 AM

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They have vanilla sex and find a Dominant for the other times. There are Dom/Dom couples and sub/sub couples.

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RE: 2 subs 1 house - 1/27/2008 7:50:58 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19

They have vanilla sex and find a Dominant for the other times. There are Dom/Dom couples and sub/sub couples.

Yep, no different than two dominants being in a relationship together. Some good friends of mine just got married...both tops.

(in reply to lusciouslips19)

RE: 2 subs 1 house - 1/27/2008 8:06:17 AM

sambamanslilgirl

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time for a reality check here - are you not the Dominant of this potential 2submissive relationship? and you THE one who says what's allowed or not in your said relationship? if you want to have 2 or more ...hey, in fact a stable of willing submissives in your barn, who am i to say "no, that's not a twue BDSM dynamic".

there is no absolute twue way of having a relationship in BDSM. if i can 2 dominants (and i do - Daddy and SO), then you can as many submissives/slaves as you want. however you have to set the dynamics/roles etc for your submissives ie who's the alpha ...will they be collared or whatever.

good luck

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RE: 2 subs 1 house - 1/27/2008 9:17:30 AM

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If they're both devoted to the relationship, then they'll mainly be happy. They'll both do lots of loving stuff for the other. However they both need to be able to service top their partner if necessary, and it's helpful if they're both okay with looking for an outside dominant. For stuff no one can seem to make a good decision on, that's when it helps to have experts on call; attorneys, accountants, life coaches, therapists.

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RE: 2 subs 1 house - 1/27/2008 9:45:20 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: sirwankalot
is it possible for two subs to have a relation ship?

It's possible, but should not be expected, even if they have the same dom.

quote:

what would be the complications/bennefit from such a relationship?

Same as any relationship.

quote:

who would take charge?

Maybe no one. Gosh why do kink people ALWAYS think there has to be someone in charge or the world falls apart? We can be so closed minded.

quote:

if one sub requested the other to dominate him/her would that also be considered an act of submission and would the dominate one feel comfortable being the controlling half of that scenario?

Depends on the people involved, like any negotiation or Ds situation.

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RE: 2 subs 1 house - 1/27/2008 2:32:04 PM

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FR

I'm thinking they would wither away and die of starvation. Seriously. Can you just hear the convo now? "Where do you want to go eat?" "I don't know, where do you want to go?" "I don't know, and hey, I asked you first." "Yeah, but I don't know, so where do you want to go?"

Cali

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RE: 2 subs 1 house - 1/27/2008 2:40:10 PM

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i was refering to a husband wife situation as to who should initiate sex and assume the lead role.

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RE: 2 subs 1 house - 1/27/2008 2:42:49 PM

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Who "should" initiate sex? Whoever wants it. Who should assume the lead role? Whoever wants to, if you feel someone MUST be directing (plenty of people have sex without someone being in charge). I think you're overthinking this.

Cali

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(in reply to sirwankalot)

RE: 2 subs 1 house - 1/27/2008 2:45:55 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: sirwankalot

i was refering to a husband wife situation as to who should initiate sex and assume the lead role.

The person who feels like having sex should initiate sex. (And this goes for both vanilla and kinky couples -- If I want to initiate something - even as a submissive - I can certainly initiate and ask for it.)

I agree with LA on the second part of your question. Not every relationship needs to have someone in the "lead." Sometimes the people should just walk together, ya know. Especially if both of them are more naturally submissive. Why force one or the other into a role that they are not interested in being in?

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RE: 2 subs 1 house - 1/27/2008 2:59:20 PM

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Sir Wankalot... i know what you're asking. i am submissive and my husband is submissive. We tried to make it work for 15 years and it was miserable. We were both vanilla when we got married. i expected him to be the one to be in charge and make all the decisions. As time went on, he pushed all of the decision making onto my shoulders and i was forced into the dominant role. It was very uncomfortable for me and caused a lot of angst. At the time, i was still unaware of the wild world of bdsm. Once i figured out who i was and what i was, i tried to find ways to work things out with him so that neither of us felt uncomfortable. For us, there was just no way. Every decision caused a fight, right down to where we were going to have dinner. The discomfort caused by not having one person in the marriage with a more dominant side caused the marriage to fail. There were a lot of other problems, too, but if he had been more dominant, those problems would never have had an impact on us. Imho, it makes a big difference. Hope that helped. :)

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RE: 2 subs 1 house - 1/27/2008 4:12:17 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: sirwankalot

i was refering to a husband wife situation as to who should initiate sex and assume the lead role.

Is it appropriate to let loose with the laughter yet?

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RE: 2 subs 1 house - 1/27/2008 4:55:13 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: CalifChick
FR

I'm thinking they would wither away and die of starvation. Seriously. Can you just hear the convo now? "Where do you want to go eat?" "I don't know, where do you want to go?" "I don't know, and hey, I asked you first." "Yeah, but I don't know, so where do you want to go?"

Cali

That's an issue of being passive and indecisive- which even the best dominants occasionally have. Not necessarily a submissive or "not taking the lead" problem.

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Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

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RE: 2 subs 1 house - 1/27/2008 5:18:56 PM

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quote:

Gosh why do kink people ALWAYS think there has to be someone in charge or the world falls apart?

Seriously, I wonder how I make it to work some days, without someone there to prod me along.

< Message edited by KatyLied -- 1/27/2008 5:19:48 PM >

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