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How do you release pent up feelings?? - 1/27/2008 12:26:34 PM   
JustBeingMe2


Posts: 5
Joined: 10/21/2007
Status: offline 		I am finding that I have a lot of pent up emotions, right now it seems to be focused on frustration and anger - being a woman tears are usually how I have always coped with this, it is feeling though that I need something else - perhaps on the destructive side in a positive way though.

For instance I've thought about breaking glass but I do not have a place do that safely - friends have suggested baking break from scratch, clay, exercise, meditation and of course counseling.  A play partner has never been available during these times to help with a good flogging!

I'm curious what do others find helpful?
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RE: How do you release pent up feelings?? - 1/27/2008 12:35:47 PM   
sub4hire


Posts: 6775
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		I generally don't have pent up feelings.  I may not say it all to try to be nice.  For those people who matter in my life, they know how I feel.

You may want to write a letter to the offender..get your feelings out.  Never mail it if you are afraid of retribution...its an idea

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RE: How do you release pent up feelings?? - 1/27/2008 12:39:38 PM   
kyraofMists


Posts: 3292
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline 		I stopped suppressing my feelings in the first place.  I used to suppress them until I lashed out and lost control of my behavior.  Now I don't suppress.  I give myself permission to feel what I am feeling and work through the emotions when they occur.

It doesn't always work, since old habits tend to die hard, but I am much better than I used to be.

Knight's Kyra
 

_____________________________

"Passion... it lies in all of us. Sleeping, waiting, and though unbidden, it will stir, open its jaws, and howl. It speaks to us, guides us... passion rules us all. And we obey..." ~Angelus

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RE: How do you release pent up feelings?? - 1/27/2008 1:01:39 PM   
Aswad


Posts: 9374
Joined: 4/4/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: JustBeingMe2

I'm curious what do others find helpful?


Don't hold things in.

If circumstances demand it, only delay the response and trigger it with some release activity.
Release frequently, and as quickly as possible after something has happened.
If there's a quarry around, that's a nice place to scream.
Breaking walls with your fists is inadvisable.

I used to bottle up a lot of frustration, and can't really recommend it.

Should you have a lot of inbound frustration over an extended period of time, and you have trouble letting go of it, perhaps it would be a good idea to start playing some sport that will let you get some of it out (tennis, kickboxing, etc.) or maybe looking into something that will let you relax better (yoga, singing, etc.).

Health,
al-Aswad.


_____________________________

"If God saw what any of us did that night, he didn't seem to mind.
From then on I knew: God doesn't make the world this way.
We do." -- Rorschack, Watchmen.


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RE: How do you release pent up feelings?? - 1/27/2008 1:33:35 PM   
JustBeingMe2


Posts: 5
Joined: 10/21/2007
Status: offline 		yes I am much better these days at dealing with the issues as they come up rather than holding it in.  there is a learning curve here as for decades (I'm in my 40's) I held things in, so now when something triggers one of those old pent up ones it comes out in a torrent.  It may be a small and current issue but boyyy can it bring a lot of old stuff with it avalance style.

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RE: How do you release pent up feelings?? - 1/27/2008 2:09:19 PM   
xxblushesxx


Posts: 9318
Joined: 11/3/2005
From: Kentucky
Status: offline 		Exercise is helpful.
Also, breaking (another person's) things can be calming...

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RE: How do you release pent up feelings?? - 1/27/2008 2:45:00 PM   
AtlantaMistress


Posts: 276
Joined: 6/14/2007
Status: offline 		I know it is not easy, but you have to just let it go. Everything happens for a reason, even the bad things. It is the worst things in my life that have led me to the happiness I have today. What you put out is what you get back, so you must focus on positive energy. When something bad happens, you just have to know - it happened for a reason (even if you aren't sure why - you will someday connect the dots) and just let it go. If someone wrongs you - I know it is hard, but you just have to say "you had SOME good in you or were brought in my life for a purpose. I hope you use that good to make better decisions, not hurt others, and find your own happiness." then let it go and they are out of your life.

I was fortunate enough to become friends with a man and his wife that really taught me about positive energy, its power, and letting go of the pent up feeling you speak of. I have found a place in my life that I literally feel like I live a dream existance - things are so GOOD, and even the obsitcles that once would have seemed like mountains now seem like molehills. I walk around my constantly smiling - to the point I think my family has thought I was on drugs LOL - ubt I am simply high on life. I have this wonderful sense of peace that I have never had. I know it sounds cooky, but I assure you, I am not a NUT - but I am very intelligent, educated, and still open minded. I had gone through some terrible things in my life, and at the time I met them, I was lost. When I read the book, I "got it" but I still didn't know how get what I wanted, in fact, I told him I didn't even know what I wanted. He told me that was BS, and to name 5 things I wanted: 1)my kids back, 2)my own place, 3)where I could pay all the bills, 4)doing something I loved, 5)and not have to answer to anyone. I let go of all the negative, and simply thought about those 5 things...and I can't explain how things just fell into place for me - less than 9 months later - I had ALL 5 THINGS!!!I now joke that I would shave my head and hand out fliers at the airport about this book. You can find out more about it at: www.becominggod.org.

Good luck to you


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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I'd rather be hated for something I am than loved for something I am not.


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RE: How do you release pent up feelings?? - 1/27/2008 2:53:37 PM   
CalifChick


Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline 		FR

Please don't get bogged down in that line that "everything happens for a reason".  It is often and most hurtfully (even if innocently) used as a way to minimize someone else's feelings (oh, you just lost your um? oh, so sorry, but you know, everything happens for a reason).  Personally I think that something throwing out that trite phrase equates to justifiable homicide, but that's just me. 

Sometimes crap just happens, it's what you do with yourself after that really matters. I get the release by writing, or by yelling "at someone" in the car who is not there.  Can be quite cathartic.  Just don't do it in traffic, people will think you're a loony tune. 

Cali
(yes, I am a bit biased about it)
 



_____________________________

AKA "The Undisputed Goddess of Sarcasm", "Big Bad Cali" and "Yum Bum". Advisor to the Subbie Mafia, founding member of the W.A.C. and the Judgmental Bitches Brigade, member of the Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's and Team Troll

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RE: How do you release pent up feelings?? - 1/27/2008 3:48:20 PM   
fluffyswitch


Posts: 1108
Joined: 9/29/2007
From: Buffalo
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CalifChick

FR

Please don't get bogged down in that line that "everything happens for a reason".  It is often and most hurtfully (even if innocently) used as a way to minimize someone else's feelings (oh, you just lost your um? oh, so sorry, but you know, everything happens for a reason).  Personally I think that something throwing out that trite phrase equates to justifiable homicide, but that's just me. 


Cali
(yes, I am a bit biased about it)
 




i agree. while i agree with the sentiment behind the statement i truly believe that it can be one of the most hurtful things that you can say to someone (even if meant in all good faith), especially if they're looking for emotional support. it's a good way to make someone feel insignificant and that their emotional response isn't entirely valid.

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RE: How do you release pent up feelings?? - 1/27/2008 6:49:58 PM   
JustBeingMe2


Posts: 5
Joined: 10/21/2007
Status: offline 		I do believe that things happen for a reason and there are lessons to be learned, I even understand that currently.  I know I need to let go of a lot of things and life is providing me with the opportunities to do so.  I am much better at dealing with things as they come along these days - there is just a lot of old hurts and anger looking for release and current situation are triggering those.

Now that being said, I agree that if someone is looking for support saying "an opportunity to learn!" is not very helpful at all.  but I can look at current events and see where it that philospohy does apply.  Just trying to figure out how to release the old stuff as it is coming out very intensly.

Hmm looking at the suggestion maybe learning to drive a standard with another person's car while yelling, might do the trick; an interesting way to "break things" either that or hit the highway at 90, I'm sure an officer of the law would be happy to inform me that I was breaking the speed limit!

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RE: How do you release pent up feelings?? - 1/27/2008 6:53:48 PM   
fluffyswitch


Posts: 1108
Joined: 9/29/2007
From: Buffalo
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: JustBeingMe2


Now that being said, I agree that if someone is looking for support saying "an opportunity to learn!" is not very helpful at all.  but I can look at current events and see where it that philospohy does apply.  Just trying to figure out how to release the old stuff as it is coming out very intensly.




i think the best advice that i've gotten with regards to release, though it can be messy in the short term, is just to let it happen. lock yourself away for awhile and just experience it. even you have to set aside say 15 minutes a day and just feel it and then go on with rest of the day. sometimes it's intensity of the emotion itself that keeps (at least me) from processing it completely and if i ride through it i can get to a point where i can look at it logically and decide if i need to find a way of more directly letting go or if it's something that may just fade with time if i stop poking at it.


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“Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.” churchill

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RE: How do you release pent up feelings?? - 1/28/2008 2:46:39 PM   
onestandingstill


Posts: 1335
Joined: 8/3/2006
Status: offline 		 
Me, I walk 4 miles every morning.
I'd also suggest you digging into what's causing you to be frustrated.
If it's a current person in your life, talk to them, if it's a current situation in your life, change it.
If it's things from the past surfacing, emotionally work them through till you can understand why they still affect you.
Staying in the themes you mention you've tried how about beating a pillow on your bed?

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RE: How do you release pent up feelings?? - 1/28/2008 3:04:45 PM   
worththeeffort


Posts: 105
Joined: 6/4/2007
Status: offline 		i sometimes have very similar feelings, the thought of throwing a plate across the room sounds like bliss, but since that's not always a possibility, some other (equally cathartic) options are

breaking eggs in the bathtub - satisfying splat and easy clean up
buy a bunch of teddy bears at the dollar store, and feel free to tear apart or stab at your discretion
find someone to wrestle with, no rules, just trying to take eachother down (may very well lead to tears)

Just a few thoughts.

~kitty

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RE: How do you release pent up feelings?? - 1/28/2008 10:42:40 PM   
ta2dqt


Posts: 375
Joined: 3/3/2006
Status: offline 		.............  the BEST things for pent up feelings....................

excersise......................  screaming...............riding a mototrcycle...................crying................  getting a tatto........................  getting a piercing........................dancing.................hiking.................  spanking some one..................trying a new toy on your self before you use it on your pet.................................  sky diving?......................  masturbating.......................running........................ getting waxed..................  uh...............  try all these and tell me how you feel then............................  okie dokie?  ;)

good luck to you......................  I know I always need good luck too!!!  ;)



_____________________________

"Ask not that your Dom can do for you, but what you can do for your Dom."

"People are like fine wine, they get better with age!"

"Everything happens for a reason."



myspace.com/theoneandonlyta2dqt

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RE: How do you release pent up feelings?? - 1/29/2008 12:00:05 AM   
sweetwenchie


Posts: 1993
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Sacramento, California
Status: offline 		i have actually gone to a thrift store and loaded up on cheap glassware, then taken it to the garage and had a blast smashing everything piece by piece.  It was very cathartic hearing all those lovely smashing sounds.  lol 

For less destructive methods, i would say you have to just try different things, and find that one thing that works for you, whether it be biking, hiking, going to the gym, yoga, meditation...  There is no one "cure all" that fits each person.

< Message edited by sweetwenchie -- 1/29/2008 12:01:06 AM >

_____________________________

"To make oneself an object, to make oneself passive, is a very different thing from being a passive object." - De Beauvoir

"You have your way. I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist." - Nietzsche

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RE: How do you release pent up feelings?? - 1/29/2008 12:07:08 AM   
scifi1133


Posts: 8529
Joined: 3/27/2007
From: virginia
Status: offline 		Honestly I go to the range......shot some tagets. Always seems to work pretty good.

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awwwwwww yeeeeeeeeah
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RE: How do you release pent up feelings?? - 1/29/2008 5:28:02 PM   
JustBeingMe2


Posts: 5
Joined: 10/21/2007
Status: offline 		thanks to everyone for their wonderful suggestions, there were some listed here that I hadn't thought to try and some that I wish I was able to do; I've wanted to do the breaking glass or dishes thing - the idea tossing the plate accross the room with the emotion in question and having chatter very appeals to me as a catharic release.  Alas my current living situation does not allow or this indulgence - one day it will though :-)

thanks again everyone!

PS could never do the TeddyBear or any other stuffed animal destruction - that is just CRUEL!!!  afterall they are Fabricated Americans (those of you have seen Greg The Bunny will appreciate that one)

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RE: How do you release pent up feelings?? - 1/29/2008 7:49:20 PM   
CalifChick


Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline 		I'm thinking destruction of random punctuation marks would be very cathartic.

Cali


_____________________________

AKA "The Undisputed Goddess of Sarcasm", "Big Bad Cali" and "Yum Bum". Advisor to the Subbie Mafia, founding member of the W.A.C. and the Judgmental Bitches Brigade, member of the Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's and Team Troll

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RE: How do you release pent up feelings?? - 1/29/2008 8:46:27 PM   
FangsNfeet


Posts: 3758
Joined: 12/3/2004
Status: offline 		It's always good to write things down on paper, crumple it up, and toss/burn it. This idea releases mental stress as it gets thoughts out of my head.

I also get physical stress relief at the gym when lifting weights.

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I'm Godzilla and you're Japan

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RE: How do you release pent up feelings?? - 1/29/2008 8:47:48 PM   
breatheasone


Posts: 4004
Joined: 7/14/2007
Status: offline 		I whine and cry on the message boards LOL......

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Romans 10:13,For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.
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