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MsCfromMelbourne -> RE: Talking and Meeting (1/28/2008 2:35:05 AM)
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Well, the lady will have her own fixed ideas what she wants, so pay attention and do as she asks (with some safety caveats)
For me (and only me):
I am a fan of meeting first for coffee and if you like eachother, going on your first date to a BDSM event, workshop or club in your neighbourhood. Use the night to talk a lot and learn a bit. Drive there separately if you can, so either can leave freely if you wish.
That gives you a chance to do something together that you enjoy in common, without all the pressure of being alone with a virtual stranger.
There's no need (or expectation) to play in public, unless she gets in the mood. If so, do some rapid negotiation, get a safe word happening and (discreetly!) make sure there are dungeon monitors on duty that night. Or just say no.....do whatever feels right for you.
If you survive both dates and still like eachother, ask her out for lunch or dinner or to do something else together she might enjoy (a gallery opening? horror movie? joy flight in your aeroplane?). Prove you want to spend time with her because she seems such a great catch, not because you want free BDSM.
Unless you are completely irresistable, don't expect to be invited to play one-on-one in her private dungeon for at least three dates. Let her get to know and like you first.
Safety tips: some females are the "bait" and have male accomplices that will rob/rape/worse you. If she insists on luring you to a private address or hotel and you hardly know her, be very, very careful.
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