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How Far... - 1/28/2008 12:21:19 PM

MistressOfGa

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..will you go to show your Dominant/submissive that you love/care for them? How many miles is enough? How much time is enough? How much is too much? How much is too little?

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RE: How Far... - 1/28/2008 12:24:03 PM

DesFIP

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Depends on whether or not you have a life.

Real people have full lives; family, friends, careers, avocations, school, volunteering.

Any dominant who expects every waking moment of every day to be devoted to them has some serious ego problems.

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RE: How Far... - 1/28/2008 12:24:38 PM

ownedgirlie

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I never feel I can show him enough. I don't think I have an answer to your question. I haven't reached "enough" yet. Not sure I ever will.

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RE: How Far... - 1/28/2008 12:25:39 PM

Dnomyar

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This was just asked a week ago. If the feelings were mutual then the distance would not matter. I have a passport and love to travel.

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RE: How Far... - 1/28/2008 12:25:54 PM

ownedgirlie

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quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP
Any dominant who expects every waking moment of every day to be devoted to them has some serious ego problems.

Living every day devoted to him doesn't mean not having a life. For me it means all that I do is in his honor. And ego? Yep, he's got a big one! I don't find that to be a problem though, as I simply love to feed it. :)

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RE: How Far... - 1/28/2008 12:31:21 PM

MistressOfGa

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quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

Depends on whether or not you have a life.

Real people have full lives; family, friends, careers, avocations, school, volunteering.

Any dominant who expects every waking moment of every day to be devoted to them has some serious ego problems.

REAL people? I am under the silly assumption that the folks who post here are real, but I could be wrong. I wasn't speaking of myself when I asked the question, it was a general question, as such is posted in the General forum. I happen to think that you can still carry on your life while thinking about your D/s relationship. Or at least *I* do. I wouldn't want nor would I expect any submissive of mine to sit around and think of me 24 hours a day. But if they do? So what? If they are able to function and get their work done without interruptions, then sure..why not think of their Dominants all they want? It doesn't make them any less real or have any less of a life.
Thanks for responding.

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RE: How Far... - 1/28/2008 12:34:18 PM

MistressOfGa

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Dnomyar

This was just asked a week ago. If the feelings were mutual then the distance would not matter. I have a passport and love to travel.

I must have missed it. I don't do the search thing, simply because I would like to see fresh answers. How I felt last week may not reflect what I feel today.
I also have a passport, and am unafraid to use it!

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RE: How Far... - 1/28/2008 12:39:17 PM

GreedyTop

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My partner is on my mind constantly... when I'm doing other stuff, I am aware of being conscious of his presence in my mind., of always being mindful of him. Distance? I'd circle the globe for him, if I needed to. I'm confident that he would never expect me to do things beyond our agreements to limits, so I can honestly say I'll do whatever he does ask of me. But I also know that he'll do all he can to make me happy too.

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RE: How Far... - 1/28/2008 12:40:14 PM

MasterFireMaam

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Enough is when both people feel fulfilled. If one person doesn't feel that there's enough being given then they either have unrealistic expectations OR their partner isn't a good match for them. Telling the difference between the two can often be hard.

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RE: How Far... - 1/28/2008 12:43:15 PM

breatheasone

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressOfGa

..will you go to show your Dominant/submissive that you love/care for them? How many miles is enough? How much time is enough? How much is too much? How much is too little?

I can't think of anything I wouldn't do....How scarey is that?...because I'm serious. As for time....time is a bit trickier.

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RE: How Far... - 1/28/2008 12:56:11 PM

DesFIP

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressOfGa

I happen to think that you can still carry on your life while thinking about your D/s relationship. Or at least *I* do. I wouldn't want nor would I expect any submissive of mine to sit around and think of me 24 hours a day. But if they do? So what? If they are able to function and get their work done without interruptions, then sure..why not think of their Dominants all they want? It doesn't make them any less real or have any less of a life.
Thanks for responding.

You really think they would be effective on their job if they're mooning about you? Or do you think that when you tell them they have to be honest, you are exempting the rest of their life.

If they're daydreaming about you, then they aren't paying attention to their job. As a result they won't get raises or promotions. So by demanding that from them, you are making their lives worse not better. Unless of course you are going to reimburse them for lost wages which I doubt judging by your posts.

Let's say they have ums and coach soccer. Are they going to be paying attention when their ums are not happy if they're dreaming about you? Nope, their ums will learn real soon that they aren't important to the parent in question. Will they be keeping their word to the team of small people, if they don't study soccer rules to see how best to teach them the sport? Hell no.

I have a lot more respect for a friend who coached soccer with the book in one hand, trying to stay ahead of the kids, then I ever would have if he had just gone through the motions.

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RE: How Far... - 1/28/2008 12:57:51 PM

MissMorrigan

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We're human beings first and foremost, the D/s is always there regardless of what we engage in and I feel comfortable giving him those foot rubs when his feet hurt, or shaving him every week b/c it's quicker for me to do it and if he's going to be cut to pieces at least it'll be by my own hand ;-)

When you love someone is there ever a case of 'too much'? I happen to think not, but there has to be that balance for it to be mutually fulfilling and successful. When a person does feel it's 'too much' then it's time for that serious talk.

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RE: How Far... - 1/28/2008 1:01:56 PM

Rover

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Invariably I find myself in a quagmire without escape when someone begins to ask the "how far" and "how much" questions. In my experience, those are questions asked by folks who have an infinite emptiness, and for whom there is never enough.

I'm no Sysiphus.

John

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RE: How Far... - 1/28/2008 1:05:27 PM

collaredncontent

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I've driven 18 hours and countless miles to be with Jack when our relationship was Vanilla. I'd do anything he asked of me because I trust that he only asks what he knows I can do.

-Brian.

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RE: How Far... - 1/28/2008 1:13:31 PM

RCdc

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As far and as much as he desires.
As far and as much as he allows.

With regards to you, Ma'am

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RE: How Far... - 1/28/2008 1:13:35 PM

Tigrita

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I think thinking of it in terms of enough is an unhealthy recipe. On one hand, there can never be enough expression of love and devotion, when you have that special connection. Thinking of it as living up to a quota would not feel healthy to me. And if I did feel like I'd done 'enough', then that would be a feeling of complacency that doesn't jibe well with me either.

So, enough, to me, is when both people's committment and expectations are balanced. Ideally, when you find that really special connection, anything you have to give is enough because all you can give is just yourself and what is healthy for you, and at the same time, nothing is ever enough because the devotion and desire run so much deeper than you could ever express.

Just my opinion, YMMV

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RE: How Far... - 1/28/2008 1:23:34 PM

takenbyjohnr07

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Same here.My devotion to him grows everyday. i am sacreficing no part of my life by feeling this way.

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RE: How Far... - 1/28/2008 1:28:09 PM

Archer

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Depends on how the perception runs, as to how much time someone with a "real life" can devote to their Master/ Dom/ Owner/ etc.
When service is viewed broadly then all day every day is achievable. Because while they tend their children they do my will. while they ted their volenteerism they do my will, while they work their job they do my will. All things at all times are done according to "my" will.

All those things I consider part of their service to me, they meet goals I have, display values I hold, and reflect on my stewardship.

Now as to how far is far enough? Reflect the dedication shown to me by the other and add a little bit, since I am expected to lead.

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RE: How Far... - 1/28/2008 1:41:41 PM

MistressOfGa

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quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressOfGa

I happen to think that you can still carry on your life while thinking about your D/s relationship. Or at least *I* do. I wouldn't want nor would I expect any submissive of mine to sit around and think of me 24 hours a day. But if they do? So what? If they are able to function and get their work done without interruptions, then sure..why not think of their Dominants all they want? It doesn't make them any less real or have any less of a life.
Thanks for responding.

You really think they would be effective on their job if they're mooning about you? Or do you think that when you tell them they have to be honest, you are exempting the rest of their life.

If they're daydreaming about you, then they aren't paying attention to their job. As a result they won't get raises or promotions. So by demanding that from them, you are making their lives worse not better. Unless of course you are going to reimburse them for lost wages which I doubt judging by your posts.

Let's say they have ums and coach soccer. Are they going to be paying attention when their ums are not happy if they're dreaming about you? Nope, their ums will learn real soon that they aren't important to the parent in question. Will they be keeping their word to the team of small people, if they don't study soccer rules to see how best to teach them the sport? Hell no.

I have a lot more respect for a friend who coached soccer with the book in one hand, trying to stay ahead of the kids, then I ever would have if he had just gone through the motions.

Again, this thread was not about me. It was a general question for all. For the record, I would not have a sub who has um's or a wife, for that matter, so there would be no chance of him coaching um's. Unless it is something that we had discussed and it was something I allowed him to do. Anyone who has read my posts know that I have the highest regards for my subs. It is their happiness that I put first and foremost. <shrugs> Take my questions as you will :)

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RE: How Far... - 1/28/2008 1:47:11 PM

ELUSIVE1

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I get on a plane to NYC once every 3 to 4 weeks.[just got home about 30 minutes ago in fact]..and have to take Friday and Monday off to travel, anyone who knows what a work-a-holic I am knows that is a pretty big deal...he's worth it though

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