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RE: Why Men 'Like' Orgasm Denial (soc.subculture.bondage-bdsm.femdom)


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RE: Why Men 'Like' Orgasm Denial (soc.subculture.bondag... - 9/27/2005 7:08:04 PM   
nephandi


Posts: 4470
Joined: 9/23/2005
From: Cold and magickal Norway in a town near Bergen!
Status: offline 		For me, while i like to have an orgasem now and then it is like good cheese, nice but i can do whitout it, but still orgasem deninal do make me feel extra submissive.

(in reply to PassionateNights)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Why Men 'Like' Orgasm Denial (soc.subculture.bondag... - 9/27/2005 7:35:37 PM   
ed408


Posts: 19
Joined: 9/3/2005
Status: offline 		This subject, or at least along the lines of denial, increased submissiveness, is something i've been trying to put together in some kind of follow-able coherent structure for posing in a forum to people but for now....

The longest i went without orgasm was just over 3 months for a self-proclaimed Dom i knew and he decided i should undergo that before being "accepted". (No chastity belt/cage just on ones' honor & trust to not even stroke)

Having done a month before the initial month wasn't so bad, then time seemed to slow down to a crawl and i climbed the wall several inches per day.... By the end i was almost tuoching the ceiling when the "Dom" decided he didn't want to bother me. Needless to say, one hell of a let down but damn was i glad to be able to get off!

That amount of time is definitely more than i want to do again but it's not a hard-limit so if i ever find a Real Dominant then gawd help me.... but one thing is for sure, our mind becomes more and more transfixed - at least mine did - going places i wouldn't have considered/wanted but "(almost) anything to cum pleeeeeease" in that desperate voice. lol.

i think i was fortunate that i didn't have to use toys/plugs or any other paraphernalia during those 12.5 weeks otherwise i don't think i could have made it.

(in reply to nephandi)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Why Men 'Like' Orgasm Denial - 9/28/2005 6:50:22 AM   
plantlady64


Posts: 755
Joined: 5/19/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: fastlane

Fastlane runs out of the room with his cock in hand....denial Hell! I'll get my own self off!

quote:

Fastlane runs out of the room with his cock in hand....denial Hell! I'll get my own self off!
quote:



Need some help with that Fastlane?
sub suzanne

(in reply to fastlane)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Why Men 'Like' Orgasm Denial - 9/1/2006 10:10:35 AM   
MistressKnotty


Posts: 1
Joined: 10/18/2005
Status: offline 		Denial is a requirement with me, even in vanilla sexual relationships. I always tell the boy that when we aren't together not to cum touch or play himself. 3-4 days pass we are shagging and it is much more intense for us both.

With Subs, Chastity has almost become a requirement. It's not just about denial it's also about earning it. Sometimes when you earn that very deep intense release it makes all the work seem effortless in comparison to the joy of the reward.

(in reply to plantlady64)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Why Men 'Like' Orgasm Denial - 9/1/2006 8:16:59 PM   
slavekal


Posts: 1486
Joined: 7/20/2004
Status: offline 		Ms. Mlicious often has regular, penetrative sex with me.  She enjoys several orgasms, but she usually denies me.  She allows me to come this way once or twice a month.  I bang her to her hearts content.  When she is done, she taps me a couple of times on the ass, and that is my signal that she has had enough.  She goes to sleep satisfied; I go to sleep with a raging hardon.

(in reply to iamdownonmyknees)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Why Men 'Like' Orgasm Denial - 9/2/2006 9:20:08 AM   
PhDslave


Posts: 74
Joined: 9/24/2005
Status: offline 		Jasmyn and Texas Maam have given some of the best insights into this phenomenon I've ever encountered.

For some Females there is a trust issue which chastity can at least  lessen (not terminate usually). Some Dominant Women have trust issues based on past instances of infidelity and lying. Chastity devices and a man's willingness to undergo this help to build confidence in the relationship in most Women. The best confidence builder is of course a pattern of faithfulness and honesty, but sometimes a chastity device can speed things up, especially at the beginning of an LTR. I think it's a very noble thing to do, especially if he's het and masculine. Besides, since I've promised Her I'll be monogamous, what's the problem with a chastity device if She offers me release?  Chastity can build trust and intimacy.

(in reply to slavekal)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Why Men 'Like' Orgasm Denial - 9/2/2006 9:24:05 AM   
PhDslave


Posts: 74
Joined: 9/24/2005
Status: offline 		 "...since I've promised Her I'll be monogamous..."  Just to clarify, I'm not in a relationship and am available <smiles>

Yes, I know, a little self-serving, but I don't want to shut the door on a possible match - even on an online site.

(in reply to PhDslave)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Why Men 'Like' Orgasm Denial - 9/2/2006 9:25:17 AM   
michaelGA2


Posts: 1533
Joined: 4/26/2006
Status: offline 		i can't say i like it or don't...never participated in it.

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Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Why Men 'Like' Orgasm Denial - 9/2/2006 6:18:03 PM   
angielouwhos


Posts: 87
Joined: 7/9/2006
Status: offline 		My husband would decribe long term chastity as a "higher state of mind". I think it's difficult to describe the intense feelings that submissive men have about this subject, and certainly to understand them by those of us that do not share the desire. I know its real and very common to submissive men.

(in reply to iamdownonmyknees)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Why Men 'Like' Orgasm Denial - 9/14/2006 11:22:16 PM   
JamesScorpio


Posts: 3
Joined: 3/22/2006
Status: offline 		Will for want of a better commitment ... to another the pleasure from having a slave submitting to a Dommna, one who enjoys control ... the aim should be your partners happiness and enjoyment, in the end you need to find and expecpt with "trust" and caring ///\o0o/\

(in reply to angielouwhos)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Why Men 'Like' Orgasm Denial - 9/15/2006 3:23:20 AM   
mons


Posts: 2400
Joined: 11/16/2005
Status: offline 		greetings
 
ok look have you ever pleasure your own self and just stop just before you come and then go back and do it until you fainting well dear that is what it is for men i see why they do it simple anwer
 
mons

(in reply to iamdownonmyknees)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Why Men 'Like' Orgasm Denial - 11/5/2006 5:31:11 PM   
feralcat


Posts: 116
Joined: 10/22/2005
Status: offline 		two comments on the topic....
 
A wise Domme once said,"control the orgasm,control the man" .The moment you say you "can't"  have something the more you think about it. Great way to keep YOU in his head...both of his heads!
 
As for the "higher" line of thinking ,I agree completely. The "orgasm control" keeps a man "high",and he is more willing to "stay" submissive,keeps his focus.Many men will tell you that once they cum, the "desire" to be submissive or the "feelings" of submission fade. I liken this to the vanilla,"shot my load ,now I am no longer romantic" syndrome the vanilla women experience. I know plenty of men who are not into chastity,but enjoy the "high" of being denie,even if it is just with a spoken word,no device.Saving one's self for Mistress,better than flowers in my book!
 
just my two cents.....Ms Feral

(in reply to mons)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Why Men 'Like' Orgasm Denial - 8/28/2008 5:38:01 PM   
slaveinstockings


Posts: 24
Joined: 8/17/2008
Status: offline 		My girlfriend and I have a mostly vanilla relationship, but in the bedroom we play around with our kinks and fetishes. We're both technically switches, but our ratios are different. I would say I'm 90% submissive and 10% dominant, while she is probably 80% dominant and 20% submissive.

Ok, point of my post now. We've started to experiment with controlling my orgasms which has always been a fantasy of mine. When I'm not allowed to cum I feel so much more submissive and despite my agony I don't want to get myself off as I don't want to let her down. About a week ago I was masturbating more than I even usually do and Tuesday morning we were talking and she asked if I could hold off and not cum at all until Saturday morning. The first two full days were a lot of fun and moderately frustrating, but I loved every minute of it. The third day was still a lot of fun but the frustration got exponentially higher. I woke up (I was alone) this morning (Thursday, still not allowed to cum) and while half asleep I started rubbing myself to an edge. It was really sub conscious and I wasn't stroking just lightly rubbing. When I felt the edge I stopped and took my hands away but about ten seconds later I lost all control and it just went off. I confessed to her and she told me our plans for giving me relief this Saturday are now suspended and this time she isn't giving me a day to count down to and I just have to wait til she gives me the ok.

We tried doing this a few months ago but she started to get annoyed with my nagging and just gave into me. It was a mistake I won't make again. I love this too much and I love the feeling I get when I'm frustrated and know I can't do anything about it. It just makes me think of her and I want to do whatever I can to please her even moreso than normal. So this time I will give her regular updates on how I'm feeling but I won't constantly bug her about wanting to get off.

cheers

(in reply to feralcat)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Why Men 'Like' Orgasm Denial (soc.subculture.bondag... - 8/28/2008 7:00:19 PM   
Huntertn


Posts: 715
Joined: 10/7/2006
Status: offline 		I've held off a sub for two weeks..while all the time enjoying my own release.  Dd she think it was fair..No! did she for one minute try it without my permission..No way!..Did she exploded all over everything once I let her cum....What do you think..but to let that go on for months..No!First off thats mean as hell..lol,secondly, I would worry about causing her problems..such as bitchiness's,being evil to our pets, or the kids, or the nabors kids..snickers...or maybe even shooting the nabors period..LOLOLOL

(in reply to PassionateNights)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Why Men 'Like' Orgasm Denial (soc.subculture.bondag... - 8/28/2008 7:03:51 PM   
Leatherist


Posts: 5149
Joined: 12/11/2007
Status: offline 		My,what a really really OLD thread.

_____________________________

My shop is currently segueing into production mode.

I'm not taking custom orders.

(in reply to PassionateNights)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Why Men 'Like' Orgasm Denial (soc.subculture.bondag... - 8/28/2008 7:17:42 PM   
slaveinstockings


Posts: 24
Joined: 8/17/2008
Status: offline 		I searched around and this one seemed the most appropriate to make my post.

(in reply to Leatherist)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Why Men 'Like' Orgasm Denial - 8/29/2008 2:01:38 AM   
simplyone


Posts: 8
Joined: 8/28/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TexasMaam

Orgasm Denial, over a period of time and conditioning, increases both the intensity, duration and volume of the ejaculate. In women, orgasm denial can increase the number of contractions that occur during orgasm from the average 3 to 7 contractions to as many as 32, 33, 35 or even more. Add to that the many psychological nuances involved in Orgasm Denial, and You can have a field day learning what makes some folks tick.
My sub enjoys being denied orgasm simply because of the herculean effort that is required for him to hold back. Since I'm particularly fond of his voluminous cum once I permit his release, it makes us both happy. Try it sometime! Texas Maam

I have to agree with TexasMaam here. It is true my ex Mistress would hold back my orgasms for a month or two.  It was psychologically challenging and torture at times when I really wanted to but in the end when the denial was over I would have such an intense orgasm of all time.  Not only that but it taught me to be more obedient and it gave me an emotional euphoria.  Never did I have to wear a chastity device, there was no need to, I knew better than to disrespect my Lady.

(in reply to TexasMaam)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Why Men 'Like' Orgasm Denial - 8/29/2008 4:55:14 AM   
WhiplashSmile2


Posts: 526
Joined: 6/11/2008
Status: offline 		I Love
  • Forced Orgasms
  • Multiple Orgasms
  • Prolonged Orgasms


(in reply to iamdownonmyknees)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Why Men 'Like' Orgasm Denial - 8/29/2008 7:53:30 PM   
MistressDolly


Posts: 917
Joined: 8/24/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: iamdownonmyknees

I think I first encountered orgasm denial on a locally themed Femdom Yahoo Club.

The guy supposedly was going to have to go months, maybe a year without an orgasm.

Umm . . . !?!?!

His Domme was also his lover. While I have plenty of desires for cruelty this baffled me. Didn't she enjoy making love to him? Now that I've learned far more about F/m relationships I realize the answer is: possibly not.

Or possibly he was just spinning a fantasy. My next exposure to enforced chastity was men saying they'd been forbidden to orgasm more than once a year or were told they'd never be allowed to have one ever. How much of this is just lonely submissive guys tossing out a yarn I've never been sure.

There's one side of the chastity fetish that I've never really felt empathy for. That men if allowed an orgasm are less attentive. Countless times I've read women and men say this. Normally lifestyle couples, meaning there was - or should've been - an ongoing intense interpersonal dynamic.

Deprivation can certainly make it easier to enter a submissive mindset. But that only sexual frustration could make you want to please someone you'd pledged yourself to is an unappealing image of D/s, 'Femdom' or otherwise.

It took me a long time to appreciate a core aspect of the experience: the men enjoy the enforced chastity.

In a world where people buy bogus herbal junk in search of sexual arousal I can see how fulfilling the excitement of denial can be. (And my earlier speculation that some guys become conditioned to this as exciting because of the denial many experience as horny teenage boys.)

But back to my question: why would a man be less obedient or docile without mandatory chastity?

Two speculations. If you don't like them remember what you paid to read them.

1) Some men may like to think their penis rules them. I like to think this is a societal stereotype of silly Mars and Venus books. Is there a sense of virility in the image of seeing an orgasm the center of your life?

To ask a hugely oxymoronic question: does the orgasm deprivation make him feel more manly? Gender qualities, certainly masculinity, can follow some oddball bypaths.

2) Is there a fear, perhaps invisible to them, that if they don't act up the chastity rules will be relaxed?

If chastity is a favored pleasure for them do they misbehave to insure that their cock goes back in its cage? Topping from the bottom in a funny, indirect way.

Not that there is one answer. Each guy's response if surely a mix of many motivations. Maybe my guesses are partly true for some.

Some may just be emotional slobs.

If you are a bad boy when you're allowed an orgasm why don't you tell me about it. Your hypotheses are as good as mine.

Even if there isn't an answer it tickles me to wonder why.

Richard



To quote a male who enjoys submission:

"I agree with you completely. Before I met my wife/owner I masturbated alot. Sometimes 3 to 4 times a day. At one point, I stopped just to see what would happen. My energy levels went through the roof and I was able to focus more on what I was doing. However, I was weak and started up again. Now married, my wife keeps me chaste and totally controls my orgasms. I'm more attentive and more focused on her and her needs."

Feel free to read more here if you would like:

http://community.livejournal.com/humbled_males/13479.html

:)



< Message edited by MistressDolly -- 8/29/2008 7:56:44 PM >

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(in reply to iamdownonmyknees)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Why Men 'Like' Orgasm Denial - 8/29/2008 8:11:45 PM   
malloves69


Posts: 913
Joined: 9/15/2006
Status: offline 		love the control aspect of orgasm denial by my mistress  its up to her one if i cum or not ...then if granted its up to her how ...by prostate massage ..or by vanilla sex ..or by her doing a hand job ..one way or another shes going to get me to cum if shes in the mood but she always likes to see me swallow my own cum after she has taken it from me as she feeds it back to me  sometimes its a week or 2 ..longest she didnt allow me to cum was a month ..but when i did i flooded her out ..more for me to lick up and cleanup her  that day she had me cum 3 times in like 2 and a half hours which was amazing to me since im not that young as i was once was love a lady in control ..smile ..mal

(in reply to MistressDolly)
Profile   Post #: 40
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