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RE: BDSM and the pregnant woman - 2/3/2008 5:42:14 PM   
CalifChick


Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline 		Unfortunately, becoming pregnant does not make stupid people any less stupid. 

I find it kind of amusing how many people are saying "okay if you're in a stable relationship otherwise just wait."  Maybe I'm missing the point.  You could play and/or have sex before, taking whatever precautions you chose to take, but you cannot play and/or have sex now, taking precautions??

Cali


_____________________________

AKA "The Undisputed Goddess of Sarcasm", "Big Bad Cali" and "Yum Bum". Advisor to the Subbie Mafia, founding member of the W.A.C. and the Judgmental Bitches Brigade, member of the Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's and Team Troll

(in reply to ravennfyre)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: BDSM and the pregnant woman - 2/3/2008 5:43:33 PM   
MRandme


Posts: 661
Joined: 9/24/2007
Status: offline 		Of those who are saying that pregnant women shouldn't scene, i'd like to know how many have actually been pregnant or given birth.

Smoking while pregnant is selfish. Doing drugs or drinking while pregnant is selfish. Having sex and being submissive? You're kidding me, right?

There is no physical reason to avoid activities like spanking, caning etc (if done on the ass), mild breast tormenting, mental submission... there is a whole slew of activities that don't involve the womb or a baby-belly at all! The top should be careful and take reasonable precautions but let's not get crazy here. i have seen women do all sort of sports and physical activities up to their ninth month.

i have been pregnant four times. The doctors always told me that you can do anything while pregnant that you do when you are not, as long as you make allowances and it doesn't hurt your belly while you do it. i'd be far more concerned about caffiene comsumption and eating junk food than a little slap and tickle.

g



_____________________________

And thus i conclude with a wish you go well,
Sweet be your dreams, may your happiness swell,
I'll leave you here, for my journey begins
i've gone to be with Him again...

(in reply to AquaticSub)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: BDSM and the pregnant woman - 2/3/2008 5:45:47 PM   
SubinMaine


Posts: 1888
Joined: 1/7/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: adoracat

quote:

ORIGINAL: SubinMaine

i do not get it!? Do people REALLY think that pregnant women don't have sex?



in a "been there, done that" sense.....  sometimes pregnant women are told NOT to have sex.  there is a chemical in normal semen that can cause softening of the cervix, and is why some women who have gone past their due date are told to have intercourse, to start the labor process.  this is entirely safe as long as your water hasnt broken.

i started having premature contractions at month 3.  so  bedrest for the rest of the pregnancy, and no nookie for the kitten.  frustrating, but that was the price to pay to have a healthy imp, so i did.

healthy women with unremarkable pregnancies are told "pretty much whatever within reason" up to month 7, when they're cautioned to take it a little easier as far as intercourse goes. 

kitten


kitten, i'm not tryin to be disagreeable at all, but the 7 month "rule" has changed.  i gave birth to my daughter less than a year ago and am pregnant again, right now.  i went into premature labor at 27 weeks with her and was told to abstain, which i did.  During my pregnancy with her i did NOT "play" although i continued my role of submissive.

When i got pregnant this trip, i spoke with my doctor about all my concerns and was assured, as long as there is NO issues with the pregnancy, light play is perfectly safe.  You have to be reasonable about it and use discretion, to be sure.

Yes, women who go past their due dates are told to have sex because the semen can cause softening of the cervix but those women are at the stage where there bodies are gearing up for it.  If the body is not ready to give birth it won't.  Semen or induction aside.  This is why so many women have c-sections when they're induced medically...because their bodies just weren't ready.


_____________________________

That which yields is not always weak...

(in reply to adoracat)
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RE: BDSM and the pregnant woman - 2/3/2008 5:45:49 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Aylee

It is a baby, not a calamity.


That needs to be quoted somewhere...

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to Aylee)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: BDSM and the pregnant woman - 2/3/2008 5:47:20 PM   
adoracat


Posts: 1779
Joined: 2/16/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CalifChick

Unfortunately, becoming pregnant does not make stupid people any less stupid. 

I find it kind of amusing how many people are saying "okay if you're in a stable relationship otherwise just wait."  Maybe I'm missing the point.  You could play and/or have sex before, taking whatever precautions you chose to take, but you cannot play and/or have sex now, taking precautions??

Cali



i was saying it from the viewpoint of "dont start a new relationship when your thinking is also affected by pregnancy moodswings/hormone fluctuations".  i mean...sub frenzy complicated by raging pregnancy hormones?  i shudder!

if you're in a poly relationship and also practicing BDSM, would i say to cut out everything but occasional vanilla nookie with your primary partner?  no.  but starting new relationships when you are in a hugely changing time in your life?  isnt the best idea since there are just too many factors to take into play.

*that* was all i was saying.

kitten, who hopes that made it a wee bit clearer than mud. 

(in reply to CalifChick)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: BDSM and the pregnant woman - 2/3/2008 5:47:40 PM   
takenbyjohnr07


Posts: 787
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline 		Being in a D/s relationship that is stable mens that you won't be going out looling for strangers to play with. You have some one who will hopefully put you and your baby's health first.

With a stranger you never know what you're going to get.

_____________________________

i am the sole property of Johnr. He is the love of my life and the greatest Owner and i will live to serve and, please him only every day of my life.

(in reply to CalifChick)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: BDSM and the pregnant woman - 2/3/2008 5:49:13 PM   
sambamanslilgirl


Posts: 10926
Joined: 2/5/2007
From: Chicago, IL
Status: offline 		though i wasn't into BDSM at the time however i did have sex while preggers with both UMs. my hormones were running high all of the time and i did consult my ob/gyn who did say it was acceptable to have nooky while carrying. plus my ex found it sexually arousing but on the downside, it did cause both to be born early.




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(in reply to RedMagic1)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: BDSM and the pregnant woman - 2/3/2008 5:49:29 PM   
CalifChick


Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline 		We'll just have to agree to disagree on that.  First time for everything.

Cali


_____________________________

AKA "The Undisputed Goddess of Sarcasm", "Big Bad Cali" and "Yum Bum". Advisor to the Subbie Mafia, founding member of the W.A.C. and the Judgmental Bitches Brigade, member of the Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's and Team Troll

(in reply to takenbyjohnr07)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: BDSM and the pregnant woman - 2/3/2008 5:49:36 PM   
Aylee


Posts: 24103
Joined: 10/14/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ravennfyre

quote:

ORIGINAL: DisenchantedLife

I think a reasonable adult can wait until they're not a mother to be.  Talk about self indulgence and lack of patience.  It is ony 9 months.


Bravo!

I've read a blog on LJ from a woman/slave that had given birth recently and the thing she looked forward to most WASN'T her child, but was smoking a bowl while nursing, and a singletail. Scared me.

Patience is something we ALL need to work on...physically AND verbally...think twice, speak once.



Yes, because it is just so unusual for a woman whose body is stretched extrememly, whose feet hurt, tits hurt, ankles swollen, heartburn, back hurts, is tired, short of breath, peeing every 10 minutes, and so forth, to be looking forward to something she will enjoy.

Not every day of pregnancy is roses and sunshine. 

Most women I know, at the end, just wanted the little sucker OUT. 

Also, there is a difference between wanting something and actually DOING the said action.  Furthermore, you said that she wanted to be nursing at the time, so she was seeing the baby in the future. 



_____________________________

Ceterum censeo Carthaginem esse delendam

I don’t always wgah’nagl fhtagn. But when I do, I ph’nglui mglw’nafh R’lyeh.

(in reply to ravennfyre)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: BDSM and the pregnant woman - 2/3/2008 5:50:03 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: takenbyjohnr07

Being in a D/s relationship that is stable mens that you won't be going out looling for strangers to play with. You have some one who will hopefully put you and your baby's health first.

With a stranger you never know what you're going to get.


Are you kidding? There are plenty of stable d/s relationships where a partner goes to have sex with strangers. There is fairly common kink for having sex with strangers.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to takenbyjohnr07)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: BDSM and the pregnant woman - 2/3/2008 5:51:44 PM   
adoracat


Posts: 1779
Joined: 2/16/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SubinMaine

quote:

ORIGINAL: adoracat

in a "been there, done that" sense.....  sometimes pregnant women are told NOT to have sex.  there is a chemical in normal semen that can cause softening of the cervix, and is why some women who have gone past their due date are told to have intercourse, to start the labor process.  this is entirely safe as long as your water hasnt broken.

i started having premature contractions at month 3.  so  bedrest for the rest of the pregnancy, and no nookie for the kitten.  frustrating, but that was the price to pay to have a healthy imp, so i did.

healthy women with unremarkable pregnancies are told "pretty much whatever within reason" up to month 7, when they're cautioned to take it a little easier as far as intercourse goes. 

kitten


kitten, i'm not tryin to be disagreeable at all, but the 7 month "rule" has changed.  i gave birth to my daughter less than a year ago and am pregnant again, right now.  i went into premature labor at 27 weeks with her and was told to abstain, which i did.  During my pregnancy with her i did NOT "play" although i continued my role of submissive.

When i got pregnant this trip, i spoke with my doctor about all my concerns and was assured, as long as there is NO issues with the pregnancy, light play is perfectly safe.  You have to be reasonable about it and use discretion, to be sure.

Yes, women who go past their due dates are told to have sex because the semen can cause softening of the cervix but those women are at the stage where there bodies are gearing up for it.  If the body is not ready to give birth it won't.  Semen or induction aside.  This is why so many women have c-sections when they're induced medically...because their bodies just weren't ready.



i didnt see that as being disagreeable.    my youngest is 14, so absolutely my information isnt up-to-date.

and yep, playing (which was my point of contention) is not the same as submission...hell, i am submissive to my husband and we're well over a year and a half past the last time we were sexual with one another. 

i had a c-section....because although my body was absolutely ready, water broken, and fully dialated and full blown 'get this outta me NOW' labor....

that kid wasnt budging.    congratulations on your pregnancy!  may it all go unremarkably save for the finale.

kitten

(in reply to SubinMaine)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: BDSM and the pregnant woman - 2/3/2008 5:54:05 PM   
slaveluci


Posts: 4294
Joined: 3/2/2007
From: Little Rock, AR
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aylee

It is a baby, not a calamity.


That needs to be quoted somewhere...

Speak for yourself: "not a calamity."  If it happened here, it would be the biggest calamity imaginable.  Seriously.  ~shudders~.  But, it IS a great quote.........luci

_____________________________

To choose a good book, look in an inquisitor’s prohibited list. ~John Aikin

(in reply to AquaticSub)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: BDSM and the pregnant woman - 2/3/2008 5:55:57 PM   
ravennfyre


Posts: 161
Joined: 6/23/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SubinMaine

quote:

ORIGINAL: ravennfyre

quote:

ORIGINAL: DisenchantedLife

I think a reasonable adult can wait until they're not a mother to be.  Talk about self indulgence and lack of patience.  It is ony 9 months.


Bravo!

I've read a blog on LJ from a woman/slave that had given birth recently and the thing she looked forward to most WASN'T her child, but was smoking a bowl while nursing, and a singletail. Scared me.

Patience is something we ALL need to work on...physically AND verbally...think twice, speak once.



So you would group a woman who is involved in the lifestyle with one who is a drug user?

Again, like Camille said, i think people are missing the point.  Submission is not 100% about SEX and BEATINGS. 



um... NO.
I was referring to patience.
Patience when it comes to being pregnant and impact play.
Pregnant,nursing and drug use.

Being pregnant and submissive doesn't mean that everything comes to a screeching halt. we can still do the little things that make their day better without subjecting ourselves to the overload of endorphins that tend to accompany heavier play and possibly put the unborn at risk. That's all I'm saying. Some people play closer to the edge when they're pregnant... I don't.



(in reply to SubinMaine)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: BDSM and the pregnant woman - 2/3/2008 5:57:08 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline 		Again - what does patience have to do with it if there is an all clear from a doctor?

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to ravennfyre)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: BDSM and the pregnant woman - 2/3/2008 6:03:26 PM   
MRandme


Posts: 661
Joined: 9/24/2007
Status: offline 		i am unclear on how endorphins would be harmful to a fetus. Can you quote a study that shows they are?

g


_____________________________

And thus i conclude with a wish you go well,
Sweet be your dreams, may your happiness swell,
I'll leave you here, for my journey begins
i've gone to be with Him again...

(in reply to AquaticSub)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: BDSM and the pregnant woman - 2/3/2008 6:04:21 PM   
ravennfyre


Posts: 161
Joined: 6/23/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

Again - what does patience have to do with it if there is an all clear from a doctor?


None of my posts said anything about an "all clear".

differences of opinion, things changing between when my two were born and now....
last I knew, I was stating my opinion...not arguing.
I apologize if I've offended anyone.

(in reply to AquaticSub)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: BDSM and the pregnant woman - 2/3/2008 6:05:28 PM   
SubinMaine


Posts: 1888
Joined: 1/7/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ravennfyre

quote:

ORIGINAL: SubinMaine

quote:

ORIGINAL: ravennfyre

quote:

ORIGINAL: DisenchantedLife

I think a reasonable adult can wait until they're not a mother to be.  Talk about self indulgence and lack of patience.  It is ony 9 months.


Bravo!

I've read a blog on LJ from a woman/slave that had given birth recently and the thing she looked forward to most WASN'T her child, but was smoking a bowl while nursing, and a singletail. Scared me.

Patience is something we ALL need to work on...physically AND verbally...think twice, speak once.



So you would group a woman who is involved in the lifestyle with one who is a drug user?

Again, like Camille said, i think people are missing the point.  Submission is not 100% about SEX and BEATINGS. 



um... NO.
I was referring to patience.
Patience when it comes to being pregnant and impact play.
Pregnant,nursing and drug use.

Being pregnant and submissive doesn't mean that everything comes to a screeching halt. we can still do the little things that make their day better without subjecting ourselves to the overload of endorphins that tend to accompany heavier play and possibly put the unborn at risk. That's all I'm saying. Some people play closer to the edge when they're pregnant... I don't.





My reply was due to the "Bravo" you left to the "lack of patience" and "self indulgence" post.  i read that as "you need to abstain from all activity until you're NOT pregnant" which is a falicy.

i don't think there is one person who has advocated heavier play while pregnant.  LIGHT play, however, is perfectly safe when discretion and common sense are used.


_____________________________

That which yields is not always weak...

(in reply to ravennfyre)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: BDSM and the pregnant woman - 2/3/2008 6:08:07 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ravennfyre

quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

Again - what does patience have to do with it if there is an all clear from a doctor?


None of my posts said anything about an "all clear".

differences of opinion, things changing between when my two were born and now....
last I knew, I was stating my opinion...not arguing.
I apologize if I've offended anyone.



But it was stated that if a woman couldn't wait she was being selfish.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to ravennfyre)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: BDSM and the pregnant woman - 2/3/2008 6:13:19 PM   
Daddysredhead


Posts: 23574
Joined: 11/6/2005
From: Northern (yet still part of the South) Virginia
Status: offline 		Thank goodness for the women who are card-carrying members of the mothers with intelligence (or perhaps future mothers) who are on here, as well as the well-informed men (like scifi) who have actual medical information which has been heard first hand.  I just about hit the roof when I read a few of the first posts about women who have sex during pregnancy being selfish.  OMG!!!  Spoken like a man who will never know what it's like to carry a baby and still, for the sake of all things precious, be a WOMAN with normal desires and abilities (unless she's restricted by her medical professional in some way).  I am so sick and tired of people acting like a women's menstrual cycle or her hormone levels during pregnancy render her a useless, second-rate human, who needs to be steered clear of, lest someone lose an eye. 

The greeks and romans in antiquity thought that women were often rendered nearly insane because of their uterus.  Hysteria = "wandering womb."  So, how much more sexist and stupid can you get?

Normal pregnancies and healthy women with healthy unborn little people mean that the activities you are used to doing, you can do within reason, with the approval of your ob/gyn.  Lots of women find their pregnant bodies very sexy and the estrogen surge makes some feel more amourous.  Doctors don't usually cart pregnant women off to a nunnery for the remainder of their gestation.  Good grief, how archaic can some people be in their thinking!!! 

As many of my sub women colleagues have said, submission is more than having your Dom drag you off caveman style and phuk you till your uterus pops out of your ear.  Geez!!!  If that is what folks are thinking, I would strongly suggest reading some great books written on the subject of WIITWD.

It's also true that sex in the last days of healthy pregnancy is suggested to ripen the cervix a bit and help labor come on.  It's also true that in a healthy pregnancy, the uterine contractions that occur with orgasm are like an internal "hug" to the baby.  It doesn't hurt them, it actually has been found to be quite soothing to them if there are no pre-existing reasons why the mothers-to-be should not be having orgasms.  (I'm a mom twice, have had the information given to me both times, and my sister-in-law is a nurse midwife.) 

Before you post something, please make sure that the things you are saying have some sort of factual basis to them, otherwise the people who know for sure will certainly inform you of the error of your statements.

~ Daddysredhead and Thing 1 and Thing 2's mom...

_____________________________

Founding Member, Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's

Do not challenge me to a battle of wits & come to fight unarmed.

Are you really that stupid? ~ Bless your heart

13th doughnut


(in reply to AquaticSub)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: BDSM and the pregnant woman - 2/3/2008 6:16:23 PM   
SubinMaine


Posts: 1888
Joined: 1/7/2006
Status: offline

_____________________________

That which yields is not always weak...

(in reply to Daddysredhead)
Profile   Post #: 40
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