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Ermmmm .. how do I get him to ... - 9/7/2005 7:06:24 AM

Dr24

Posts: 25
Joined: 9/5/2005
Status: offline

Ok so I've been dating this god of a young boy for 2 months and although he is very aggressive (young boy aggression he is only 22) and very take over-ish in the bedroom I cant quite get him to do what I want. Now keep in mind I am completely submissive so its hard for me to ask for what I want the boy is very experimental and I have just recently got him to slap me a lil and pull my hair but he's still holding back .. insulting him is working a lil but not completely as he is quite sensitive cos he's neva done this before and although i can see he is enjoying it I dont want to embarress him and have him think he is doing the wrong thing .. I talk to him but I dont think he knows how seriuos Im being and even when he does he's afraid to hurt me although I know he wants to .. how do I get him to stop holding back and start experimenting more - we are both very shy .. Im more shy in bed than in real life and he is the opposite ... any suggestions on how to make him a super dom would be much appreciated!!

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RE: Ermmmm .. how do I get him to ... - 9/7/2005 8:33:35 AM

fastlane

Posts: 2159
Joined: 5/26/2005
Status: offline

buy him a nice red latex suit, with a big D on his chest and a cape. Put all the toys you enjoy being played with in his utility belt and then put a whip in his hand and say, "whip me into the lil cum slut you wish for me to be.....My Super Dom!"

If that doesn't work....try me!

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Just because it hurts, doesn't necessarily make it a bad thing.

(in reply to Dr24)

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RE: Ermmmm .. how do I get him to ... - 9/7/2005 9:27:59 AM

wolffeathers

Posts: 315
Joined: 8/6/2005
From: Clearwater
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Part of the problem maybe that your trying to hard. I don't know the whole situation, but it sounds like your attempting to Top from the bottom.

Give him his time, and he'll start to go farther. Or, he may not. His limits may not be as far as yours. Even us Doms have limits.

(in reply to Dr24)

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RE: Ermmmm .. how do I get him to ... - 9/7/2005 9:30:17 AM

WickedKev

Posts: 305
Joined: 11/26/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: fastlane

buy him a nice red latex suit, with a big D on his chest and a cape. Put all the toys you enjoy being played with in his utility belt and then put a whip in his hand and say, "whip me into the lil cum slut you wish for me to be.....My Super Dom!"

If that doesn't work....try me!

Just be careful when he tries to dive off the wardrobe on top of you, those utility belts can be murder on your ribs.

(in reply to fastlane)

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RE: Ermmmm .. how do I get him to ... - 9/7/2005 12:21:11 PM

StanBWonderful

Posts: 5
Joined: 7/8/2005
Status: offline

I somtimes find that if I'm domming someone I care about I go into nive guy Stan mode, it's just part of being human I guess. Communication is the corner stone of successful D/s, you wont find many who would tell you it isn't vital to making a relatioship work.

Keep in mind that we all have limits and boundaries, Doms and subs, and it's not always easy to know where the boundaries are until you hit them. Just keep moving along and growning together, he needs time to get the feel for you.

One idea might be to try a number system, it's worked for me a few times. Try one to ten, one means you're bored, ten meands your at the limit of what you can take. During the scene all he has to do is ask what number you're on, just a little bit of feedback from you without too much disruption to the scene.

And dont be afraid of topping from the bottom, there is way too much emphasis placed on submisives being 'submisive'. You're only at the begining of your relationship, it's ok to let him know what you want, what's working for you, what isn't working etc. Being able to just give yourself to him and get what you need from him will come in time, you just have to work for it. Don't shoot yourself in the foot for the sake of being a 'good submisive'.

Stan

(in reply to WickedKev)

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RE: Ermmmm .. how do I get him to ... - 9/7/2005 1:57:10 PM

Hallittlelolita

Posts: 253
Joined: 8/11/2005
Status: offline

Hello there, i have some advice i was in the same situation. When my Master/husband and i first got together as a couple before we got married. i asked him if he would he would like to engage in bdsm and him be my Master he told me then that he wasnt ready for that at that time. That was 4 years ago, he had became my Master a month ago today and we are learning alot. Believe me it took alot of heart ache for him to understood what i want. I am now his collared puppygirl slave and very happy. My advice to you is it might take time for him to adjust to the idea but be patient and hang in there and get to know each other before jumping into this best of luck.

Sincerely andie and her Master Hal

(in reply to StanBWonderful)

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RE: Ermmmm .. how do I get him to ... - 9/7/2005 2:04:07 PM

Altheus

Posts: 5
Joined: 9/6/2005
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Be patient. He is probably quite aware of how strong he is and he cares enough about you not to hurt you. Build it by stages. You will have to ask him directly for what you want, we men aren't good at subtle signs. Write him a letter if you can't do it face to face, making sure to mention that you are very happy with him but you would like to explore particular directions with him. Chances are he will agree and work towards it.

Regards

Altheus

(in reply to Dr24)

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RE: Ermmmm .. how do I get him to ... - 9/7/2005 3:55:30 PM

anopheles

Posts: 241
Joined: 6/23/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Altheus

Be patient. He is probably quite aware of how strong he is and he cares enough about you not to hurt you. Build it by stages. You will have to ask him directly for what you want, we men aren't good at subtle signs. Write him a letter if you can't do it face to face, making sure to mention that you are very happy with him but you would like to explore particular directions with him. Chances are he will agree and work towards it.

Regards

Altheus

This advice is completely on target. I remember when I was 22, there was no way I could comprehend the things that a submissive might crave from her Dominant. Ease him along in stages. I think that's probably the key to making sure that a potentially great Dom into being a really abusive person.

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(in reply to Altheus)

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RE: Ermmmm .. how do I get him to ... - 9/7/2005 4:19:59 PM

kyraofMists

Posts: 3292
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline

Dr24,

I am curious about something, your profile says that you are a switch, but in this post you say that you are "completely submissive". I am just wondering why the difference and if you are submissive or if you are a switch.

Knight's kyra

(in reply to Dr24)

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RE: Ermmmm .. how do I get him to ... - 9/7/2005 11:39:17 PM

Dr24

Posts: 25
Joined: 9/5/2005
Status: offline

Hey Kyra dont know wat happened there I must of selected the wrong thingy ... thanks for pointing that out fixed it up!

For everyone else thanks for the great advice .. last night he did get kinda kinky so not all is at a loss and yeah I think he just needs time he gets better everytime maybe its just lots for him to handle all at once - Im not exactly what you would call a subtle person

I think he is a bit scared of his strength he does all this Israeli kick boxing stuff and gets quite aggro when he practices so maybe thats it. The number advice is great. leter writing I've done but with sms also a great idea ... thanks for the advice feel free to keep it cumming

(in reply to kyraofMists)

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RE: Ermmmm .. how do I get him to ... - 9/8/2005 8:19:01 AM

OscarHargraves

Posts: 693
Joined: 8/9/2005
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Here's a couple of ideas.
1.) Buy some BDSM magazines and leave them out for him to look at while you're changing clothes or making dinner.
2.) Invite him to come in and look at your computer at this really neat web-site. Then have several sires loaded in your 'favorites' list. Scan thru them together and do some 'ooohs and aaahs' over some pics that really turn youy on. (This will require some pre-planning and scanning to get things lined up.)
3.) Comment on how much this scene or this idea turns you on. Lead this into a discussion about the lifestyle.

Yeah I know this is going to be hard for someone who is shy but the benefits should make it worthwhile.

Good luck!

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Never drive faster than your guardian angel can fly ! !

(in reply to Dr24)

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RE: Ermmmm .. how do I get him to ... - 9/13/2005 9:57:29 AM

carefulsub

Posts: 32
Joined: 3/7/2005
Status: offline

I get this image that is completly hilarious when I read this.

but here is my suggestion. I have found that talking dirty to tell him what really turns me on works the best for me. The ni don't feel like I'm being bossy (submissive here) and he doesn't feel imasculated.

Like in the middle of giving him a BJ I would look up and in between licks tell him oomg I wished you could put clothespins on my nipples. Or whatever you like. Start small but that gives yo uan idea.

careful

(in reply to Dr24)

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