The humiliation paradox

The humiliation paradox (Full Version)

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AAkasha -> The humiliation paradox (2/4/2008 6:05:56 PM)
The first time I ever "make" a man eat his own cum, or cum on his own face, he often reacts to the situation with a great sense of conflict (desire to please vs. desire for self preservation) -- and he suffers his way through it, finds the experience to be a combination of disgusting and uncomfortable yet he cannot resist. I won't go into the delicious intensity that results because people know what I am talking about... But -- what's fascinating is the transformation that happens in a matter of a few hours or the next day. When the sub looks back at the act, the act that disgusted him, he reflects on it with a sense of excitement and arousal. This happens time and time again. Suddenly, what was unthinkable and only happened because of the intensity of the moment is now a hot, HOT fantasy that was turned into reality, and he's drawn to the experience again -- he can't stop thinking about it. When he thinks about it, it TOTALLY turns him on. I'm curious how many male submissives recognize this dynamic in themselves (and are you consciously aware of it as the discomfort with the act is right in your face?), and how many female submissives experience the same thing? Have any new femdoms ever been a little shocked to find out a sub contacts them a few days after a humiliating task only to tell them it now turns him on more than ANYTHING to think about what he did? Akasha

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: The humiliation paradox (2/4/2008 6:06:46 PM)
This is why I have long called humiliation a "burning." It truly is something I love to hate and hate to love.

AAkasha -> RE: The humiliation paradox (2/4/2008 6:10:08 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross This is why I have long called humiliation a "burning." It truly is something I love to hate and hate to love. That's a great way to put it. I have always called it a "love/hate" thing (what I desire a submissive man to feel about certain acts) but that sometimes doesn't quite sum it up. The consistent thing about it is this: it's an act he'd never consider submitting to were he not put in a heightened state of arousal or submission, and his need to please/submit is greater than his need for self preservation. One word: HOT! Akasha

xxblushesxx -> RE: The humiliation paradox (2/4/2008 6:20:19 PM)
Not male, but...uhm...ok...yes, yes, yes, I admit it.[:-][:o] I feel so free. And so dirty... And I LIKE it! g ~Christina

thorse -> RE: The humiliation paradox (2/4/2008 6:21:09 PM)
i know what you mean. this feeling came about for me. when a mistress was standing over me.. i was lying on my back, she squated over my face , and let loose a golden shower.. although it was awfull the first time.. its something that now can cause an instant , climax form me.. gets me everytime... sub tony

ProlificNeeds -> RE: The humiliation paradox (2/4/2008 6:26:23 PM)
Humiliation was terrifying and ugly before I ever tried it. Even when forced to try it, it was oh so terrible. But down the road, it became something so very sweet.

meticulousgirl -> RE: The humiliation paradox (2/4/2008 6:30:41 PM)
i can think of a million ways my Owner has brought that out of me, it's an awesome thing when it happens. ~meticulous~

atursvcMaam -> RE: The humiliation paradox (2/4/2008 6:31:45 PM)
My first Mistress broke me of resistance or disgust very quickly with one phrase regarding eating my own cum. "if you expect Me to take that in my mouth, why would you refuse." it set the ground rules that anything i refused i would never experience the pleasures to which i had grown accustomed. there was no room to dispute, recoil or even question Her thought. Took all of about 10 seconds, but i guess that i am easy.

Leatherist -> RE: The humiliation paradox (2/4/2008 6:46:49 PM)
It opens doors to other realms.

Gleegal67 -> RE: The humiliation paradox (2/5/2008 12:53:54 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross This is why I have long called humiliation a "burning." It truly is something I love to hate and hate to love. Thank you Lucky for putting it simple and true! I was searching for the right word to describe the sensation that happens to me, and you penned it perfectly! Burning...oh my... ~Always the gleeful one~

Gwynsbitchboi -> RE: The humiliation paradox (2/5/2008 1:07:25 PM)
I had something simular once when my mistress told me to pee myself in public. Now I wake up breathless thinking of it :)

SubJordanTyler -> RE: The humiliation paradox (2/5/2008 9:30:16 PM)
I couldn't agree more. The first time I was made to eat my own cum, it was a little difficult to do and get past it. But once I did, I began to crave it and now it's no big deal to do it. Same goes for piss play. Was a big turn off at first and when the first streams hit my face, I wasn't sure I was going to be able to make it through. But now, I also crave it, and can actually gulp it down with no issues. I can still find it humiliating - after all, I'm eating cum and drinking piss. But it's also a turn-on as well.

Kana -> RE: The humiliation paradox (2/5/2008 9:54:17 PM)
It is the eroticism of the forbidden. That which is taboo has a powerful pull.

hardbodysub -> RE: The humiliation paradox (2/5/2008 10:21:30 PM)
There's another current thread that's very similar: "Many of the things I enjoy, I enjoy because I don't enjoy them". The act itself may actually be undesirable to the sub, but the feeling of being controlled to such an extent by the dominant is so arousing, the humiliation so exciting, that it's entirely possible to transfer that arousal to the act itself. I'd consider it a pretty powerful tool in the behavior modification arsenal of a domme.

WalterRego -> RE: The humiliation paradox (2/6/2008 2:56:25 PM)
It's the fact that you can't stop thinking about those sorts of events afterwards that makes them so intense and transforming. As well as that you don't want to stop thinking about it. You keep re-living it again and again, in your mind, trying to deal with it and the ramifications. The "I can't believe she made me do that"; the "I just keep remembering my fear or what it felt like"; "if she could actually do that, what else could she make me do?" "I've crossed a line. Where will I be taken next?" You crave both to get your mind around it and to re-live that flush of adrenilin and submission. Because that is always what you crave, but this was so intense that you keep playing it over and playing with it. You make it an obsession. And you want that intensity again. Not that it ever reaches that level again. But still, you can use the memory to increase the intensity the next time(s) The first time I felt that feeling was when the blindfold was removed and I was allowed to pick up my head and see that it was not just "standard cbt" but that she had slid a sound deep inside me. At a club. With people watching. It also happened the first time a Mistress stood over me and let loose a stream of piss over my back... "to mark me".

MissDaisy -> RE: The humiliation paradox (2/6/2008 4:45:23 PM)
I have found that humiliation within a bdsm styled relationship tends to increase the intimacy, connection and trust factor between two people. One of the biggest turnons for My pet is humiliation. Sometimes, it isn't pleasant for him, yet he gets off on it.. and because the areas of humiliation are such a vulnerable, exposing type place/places, it requires trust between the two people...

Leatherist -> RE: The humiliation paradox (2/6/2008 6:14:20 PM)
It's all part of knowing that the hand that caresses can also rend.

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