Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

Talking to your Dom/Domme


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> Talking to your Dom/Domme Page: [1]
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
Talking to your Dom/Domme - 2/5/2008 6:39:59 PM   
ForeverOwned


Posts: 269
Joined: 2/5/2008
Status: offline 		i have been doing a lot of reading of the boards before i joined and i noticed something. There are many submisssives who are afraid to talk to their Dominants. Does anyone know why this is? i can discuss anything with my husband before and after we were married as long as i did it with respect. So i'm wondering why so many people have trouble comminicating. i know that happens in all walks of life, not just D/s.
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Talking to your Dom/Domme - 2/5/2008 6:47:42 PM   
DiurnalVampire


Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline 		PEople have trouble talking to their partners when they dont have enough trust yet to communicate openly. Fox never has to worry about talking to me, even if I dont agree with him I am not going to hold his opinion against him. That isnt true for all Dominants. There are some out there who do not like to hear the opinions of their subs, and its things like that that make people afraid to talk. It doesnt lend itself to a good working relationship, and leads to al sorts of problems, but it is unfortunately rather common.

DV


_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

(in reply to ForeverOwned)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Talking to your Dom/Domme - 2/5/2008 6:52:50 PM   
TracyTaken


Posts: 615
Joined: 2/1/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ForeverOwned

i have been doing a lot of reading of the boards before i joined and i noticed something. There are many submisssives who are afraid to talk to their Dominants. Does anyone know why this is?


I have observed it too.  My best guess:

They are in an uncertain relationship (may never have even met).  They are braving emotional territory that can be terribly potent.  They live in a society that would ostracize them for their needs.  They want/need validation - and they are, understandably, needy.  They finally got the guts to make a connection, and they are afraid of being rejected. 

(in reply to ForeverOwned)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Talking to your Dom/Domme - 2/5/2008 6:54:57 PM   
ForeverOwned


Posts: 269
Joined: 2/5/2008
Status: offline 		i tend to agree with that. i also think that if a sub is not secure with her/his Dom then they would probably be afraid to speak up for fear of being released.

(in reply to DiurnalVampire)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Talking to your Dom/Domme - 2/5/2008 7:01:34 PM   
MasterFireMaam


Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline 		People in general have trouble communicating. Add in a fear of displeasing and it gets worse...whether that fear is legitimate or not.

Master Fire


_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
-----
Ms Relationship Books
-----
BDSM How-To Books

(in reply to ForeverOwned)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Talking to your Dom/Domme - 2/5/2008 7:03:26 PM   
Lashra


Posts: 4900
Joined: 2/9/2006
Status: offline 		My malesub and I have open communication, he can speak whatever is on his mind as long is its done respectfully. When we first started down this path he had a hard time with that. He was very much afraid of saying something to upset me and that I might release him. It took time to work this out as he was new to the submissive path. Now he has gotten much better at speaking his mind and doing it respectfully.

Communication and trust are key components to any relationship.

~Lashra


_____________________________

“We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It's one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it's another to think that yours is the only path.”






(in reply to ForeverOwned)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Talking to your Dom/Domme - 2/5/2008 7:10:49 PM   
kallisto


Posts: 1185
Status: offline 		Agree.   Communication and trust at THE key components to any relationship.  

(in reply to Lashra)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Talking to your Dom/Domme - 2/5/2008 7:13:14 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		My clip is encouraged to tell Me anything that is troubling him.  It took him a little while to understand that.  I do think it takes time to build trust, and that is part of it.  Knowing that he wouldn't be released for his thoughts and opinions takes time to established.  It's difficult, at times, for a sub to put aside that conflict between not agreeing with a Dominant, and displeasing them.  Some will take that and translate it into an unbased fear.  While unrealistic, it is still a fear until it's been disproven.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to Lashra)
Profile   Post #: 8
Page:   [1]
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> Talking to your Dom/Domme Page: [1]
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.070