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Meeting a sub from overseas - 2/7/2008 1:34:48 PM

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Hello everyone, just wanted to get some thoughts on this. I am speaking to a slave from Europe who will potentially be coming to stay with me (in the US) for a trial period so that I may consider her as a full-time slave. What, in your opinion, is the best way to arrange a meetup while ensuring the safety of both of us? I want to ensure my own safety as well as make her as comfortable as possible with making the journey.

RE: Meeting a sub from overseas - 2/7/2008 1:58:31 PM

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You're worried about a first meeting but already planning for her to stay with you and consider for a full time slave?

Cart/horse

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RE: Meeting a sub from overseas - 2/7/2008 1:59:50 PM

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If you think you might have her stay permanently you should look into immigration law. Unless you marry her, she won't be able to stay with you more than 6 months legally. Also make sure she has her story straight before she walks through immigration or they will punt her back into her own country in a heartbeat.

Akasha

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RE: Meeting a sub from overseas - 2/7/2008 2:09:00 PM

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If she's staying with you on her first visit, make sure she has space, privacy so she doesn't feel like she's being thrown into a cage right off the bat. Don't keep her coped up in the house. Treat her like a person and not a mail order slave you're trying to decide on. If she's coming over seas to see you, make it worth the time and effort. More importantly if it doesn't click, don't shun her or just kick her out, establish enough fo a friendship that you two can at least get along and have fun for the duration of her visit so it doesn;t feel like a rejection and failure, and a waste of a perfectly nice vacation.

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RE: Meeting a sub from overseas - 2/7/2008 3:03:54 PM

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Thank you for the comments so far...I should clarify that the trial period will be for one week...she will not all of a sudden be my slave forever.

We are aware of immigration concerns.

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RE: Meeting a sub from overseas - 2/7/2008 4:29:16 PM

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My advice is do SOME touristy stuff, because it's fun, but mainly spend more time just BEING together. As someone else said, timefor herself/privacy is important too. When I went overseas to meet a potential, he worked a few hours each day, giving me time to myself to go do stuff on my own. It didn't work out, but we're still friends.

Good luck~

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RE: Meeting a sub from overseas - 2/7/2008 5:15:51 PM

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Make sure she sees your everyday life - the good and the bad.... How are you before and after work? Rushed, relaxed, nervous, stressed? She needs the whole picture not the pretty picture.

And what about language? Is she fluent? Is she conversational? There's a big difference. If she's not fluent, I would be happy to chat with you via cmail about that (I have experience with this).

good luck, and peace.

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RE: Meeting a sub from overseas - 2/7/2008 5:37:08 PM

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You are only have a one week trial period before deciding to relocate someone to live with you? Why don't you plan to get together a few times before making such a huge decision? What is the rush?

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RE: Meeting a sub from overseas - 2/8/2008 12:37:27 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: xosiris
Hello everyone, just wanted to get some thoughts on this. I am speaking to a slave from Europe who will potentially be coming to stay with me (in the US) for a trial period so that I may consider her as a full-time slave. What, in your opinion, is the best way to arrange a meetup while ensuring the safety of both of us? I want to ensure my own safety as well as make her as comfortable as possible with making the journey.

Hello xosiris,

First of all, take it EASY, don't go marry...
man you just get to know her, is she staying in your home? or did you arange something else for her?

Get to know everything there is to know about her, and she about you, and take it from there, slowly, before take any hasty steps..
and get hurt in the process.

I wish ya enough & goodluck.

Warm Greetingz

GoddezzT`

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RE: Meeting a sub from overseas - 2/8/2008 12:54:46 AM

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I was a sub from overseas going to the US to meet my Dom. We had known each other for nearly a year online before we even thought about meeting. Even so I had other online friends who lived near to the town I was going to and we had safety calls all arranged. We also had a code word which would not seem out of place to be used in a normal conversation that I would use if I was in immediate danger. If I used this word they would immediately call emergency services.

I had a wonderful time and stayed for 3 months before returning to my own country. We continued having a variety of online and real time relationship for nearly 9 years.

I dont know how long you have known this woman or how well you know her but it sounds like you need to slow it down. There are many issues that you have to face with international relationships besides immigration. There are cultural and social differences both on an individual and societal scale. There are relationship issues. And at the risk of being harsh or judgmental, there are the ever present risks that you are being used to secure a greencard.

You are inviting someone into the privacy of your own home, you need to be sure that you know and trust that person with all that entails.

Good luck.

(in reply to xosiris)

RE: Meeting a sub from overseas - 2/8/2008 6:40:54 AM

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I am in agreement with luckyAlbatross' comment : cart/horse. Perhaps you should consider having her down for a couple of weeks at first. Now that I think about it...have you met her in person before? Whatever the case may be, if you are serious about her comfort...I would put her in a hotel nearby. Get to know each other a little and if you both see you can stand each other (in rl) more than 2 days at a time, I suppose have her stay with you if you are both up to it. I do think you might want to reconsider your plan thoroughly before getting in an uncomfortable situation for the both of you.

(in reply to Daddysjezzy)

RE: Meeting a sub from overseas - 2/8/2008 8:21:39 AM

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Thank you all for you insightful comments and ideas.

We are still in the tentative stages of our plans to meet and if we decide to do so, we are waiting until mid/late summer. We are definitely not rushing anything and we are taking our time getting to know one another. Just wanted some general advice as her and I are getting into these conversations, and I thank you all for that :)

(in reply to greenearth21)

RE: Meeting a sub from overseas - 2/8/2008 9:45:36 AM

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best of luck, xosiris :) trust your gut. and if the RL click is there (obviously, theres SOME kind of click or you wouldnt be making plans), have a blast! :)

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RE: Meeting a sub from overseas - 2/8/2008 12:45:50 PM

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Go there on vacation and stay in a hotel. If you enjoy meeting each other and see each other again, great. If not you still get to have a great vacation. Have her plan to do the same when she comes here. If you make those first couple of visits successfully, the next time you should plan to stay with her but have enough funds to move to a hotel if needed. Her next visit to you should be along the same lines. Since Europeans get more vacation time than we do, she should plan to spend three of her four weeks off in August to be with you. Then she should go home and both of you think about what went well, what didn't, what did you do because she was visiting that is not part of your normal routine etc and tell each other. The next time should be as true to life as possible, if you're normally a slob, then cleaning up before she arrives is wrong because she won't get to see you in your normal slob habitat.

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RE: Meeting a sub from overseas - 2/8/2008 12:52:55 PM

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Excellent advice, thank you.

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RE: Meeting a sub from overseas - 2/8/2008 12:56:24 PM

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so many things can go wrong, but they can go right too. take your time, there is no hurry. if it's meant to be, it will, if not, you will have had an interesting experience. good luck.

PM

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RE: Meeting a sub from overseas - 2/8/2008 1:03:17 PM

MollyTroubletail

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Guess I'll throw a wrench into this and tell you that I married my master 1 week after meeting him for the first time, when he came from Texas to Ontario to see me. And we're still very happy 2 years later. So I think you should just use your inner judgement and listen to your gut feelings, there's no real formula for making it work. Probably not a very satisfactory answer, but it's mine.

(in reply to xosiris)

RE: Meeting a sub from overseas - 2/8/2008 1:19:25 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MollyTroubletail

Guess I'll throw a wrench into this and tell you that I married my master 1 week after meeting him for the first time, when he came from Texas to Ontario to see me. And we're still very happy 2 years later. So I think you should just use your inner judgement and listen to your gut feelings, there's no real formula for making it work. Probably not a very satisfactory answer, but it's mine.

Yes, these people and their 'voices of reason' :P

Anyway, we're going to take the time to make sure things are right for us, but at some point you just have to jump in right?

(in reply to MollyTroubletail)

RE: Meeting a sub from overseas - 2/8/2008 7:50:24 PM

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Who is paying for the travel? If I were to guess, I would say that you are and that after you pay, you *might* get an excuse, then you won't hear from her again. Are you not able to find a sub in this country?

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(in reply to xosiris)

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