RE: Depression and dominance

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RE: Depression and dominance - 9/10/2005 2:15:43 PM

GoddessDustyGold

Posts: 2822
Joined: 4/11/2004
From: Arizona
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I have clinical depression. I also have anxiety disorder, heart valve problems, GI problems, and more. I only take two meds daily now. One for GI and one for anti-anxiety. I am a side-effect queen, and I have been tried, over many, many years, on a dozen different anti-depressants. The side effects always outweigh the benefits for Me. So I have adjusted, use bio-feedback, talking, knowing when I need to stop, step back and take care of Me. Also certain breathing tecniques, meditation, yoga, and lots and lots of positive thinking. I still have My days.
Like PerverseAngelic, I have a tendency to be a bit of a tigress if I am having an onset of more than usual depression. I will snap out the orders, and trust that My boy will get things done. This is one reason why I do not need a doormat, or someone who needs instructions on everything. I can't say that I ever feel submissve or needy, because I will, at thispoint in My life, stop and take care of Me. Because I am now aware of how important this is for My well-being. So it is an extra important time to pamper Me a bit more. That is why I find having a good boy is very helpful. Not only are things getting taken care of that need to be handled, but I can demand My time alone with no qualms or guilt, accept a lovely massage, be served dinner in bed, enjoy the extra sleep, and not worry about the normal day to day of life. In other words, I can have the luxury of saying, I can't cope right now, so you do it. No boy = it just ain't gonna get done right now.
I am grateful that I have never been manic, and I have only had two episodes, both years and years ago, when I actually didn't know what was going on with Me yet, when I considered harming Myself. So this is an important aspect of Me, not so horrible, that needs to be known and accepted.
Don't ya just hate that stigma? I had a doctor tell Me once that it happened in utero . My brain and nervous systen did not develop quite right, and at the same time My GI tract also got a bit skewed. Maybe it's a right theory or maybe it's a wrong theory, but it's an okay theory for Me.
Write to Me on the other side, if you like.

*edited to fix PerverseAngelic's name. I couldn't misspell that!

< Message edited by GoddessDustyGold -- 9/10/2005 2:17:09 PM >

_____________________________

Dusty
They that give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety
B Franklin
Don't blame Me ~ I didn't vote for either of them
The Hidden Kingdom

(in reply to CalliopePurple)

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RE: Depression and dominance - 9/10/2005 3:31:21 PM

WayHome

Posts: 237
Joined: 8/4/2004
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quote:

Just because one person reacts well does not mean someone else will have the samereactions. Dosages change....

This brings up a good point. If you try a med and it doesn't work for you, try a different med. It really is trial and error and rarely is the first med tried the perfect one for a particular patient. There are much better drugs out there these days. 15 years ago when I studied psych I was saunchly anti-drug. As a behaviorist and transpersonalist I always figured there was a better way. Now the drugs are better and I realize the "other ways" just aren't an option for most people.

My own sweet j now takes Welbutrin and Buspar and has had very good results on this combination. She will likely be on them for the rest of her life and that is just the hand we have been dealt--like diabetes or any other condition we are thankful there is treatment available. Before finding this perfect mix and dosage, she had many less than satisfactory results. She and I were very pro-active: reading the literature, following the new developments, tracking her symptoms, etc. Prior to Welbutrin she was on another drug that killed her libido but otherwise worked fairly well. We aproached her doc and asked about trying Welbutrin as a potential option with less adverse effects for HER. As it turns out her libido did improve and she got better control of HER condition as well. That doesn't mean it will work that way for everyone. Each brain is unique.

I do need to put in a plug for Buspar. I'm a big fan of this drug for treating anxiety with depressive symptoms. It works completely unlike any other anti-anxiety medication. It's non-addictive and has no potential for abuse and thus is THE drug of choice for patients with substance issues. I say this because many times psych meds are prescribed by people who are not psychiatrists and many MDs who are not psychiatrists don't really understand Buspar. Thus if you have a prescription for anxiety and your doc hasn't considered Buspar, you might want to ask him/her to look into it. It's not a sedative and it doesn't make you feel tired or spacy. It's worth reading about since so many anti-anxiety medications can be problematic.

Leto

(in reply to Phoenixandnika)

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RE: Depression and dominance - 9/10/2005 4:45:18 PM

perverseangelic

Posts: 2625
Joined: 2/2/2004
From: Davis, Ca
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RE: Nika

I know you weren't and I appoologize if I sounded that way. This is something I feel moved to be vocal about, and it came out as critique of you. It was more adjunct statment.

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~in the begining it is always dark~

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RE: Depression and dominance - 9/11/2005 10:21:34 AM

CalliopePurple

Posts: 2539
Joined: 11/29/2004
From: SeaTac area
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I also have extreme social anxiety (it's nearly impossible for me to function around strangers or in strange places), and Wellbutrin can increase that feeling. Which is the reason I decided not to try it. Tried flax seed oil pills and they seemed to help stabalize my moods a little bit.

There is a good chance I'll never get off antidepressants because, as long as I can remember, I've had the same sort of issues. I mean, what sort of ten year old wonders how many pills would cause death instead of relaxation? Me. I know what my issues are and I attempt to deal with them. Yet, I'm too prone to try and do everything by myself. Admitting I need help from a source other than myself is hard. I'm trying to do it, though.

Thanks everyone for the advice and well wishes.

_____________________________

Kimi ni aitakute dare yori mo aitakute
hajimete kimi ni atta hoshizora no shita de.
Kimi ni tsutaetai todokanai omoi demo
boku no kokoro wa mada kimi o sagashiteiru.

Gackt - Kimi ni Aitakute

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RE: Depression and dominance - 9/11/2005 2:45:45 PM

Misstoyou

Posts: 1149
Joined: 9/4/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: CalliopePurple

Depression can strike anyone, but (and I hate using this phrase), is it "typical" or "normal" for a dominant to feel abnormally submissive during the worst episodes? The desire to completely screw being the one in charge and letting someone else make all the decisions and tell you what to do ...

I don't know if it's "typical" or "normal," but this totally describes a Dom friend of mine right now. So much so, that he's thinking of releasing his sub (which she knows) and going into "service" for a bit (which she does not know.) I guess it can be described as self-medicating, but I know, for him, it's not actually submission.

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~ Miss Marie

a.k.a. "mean Lady"

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RE: Depression and dominance - 9/11/2005 2:58:46 PM

LadiesBladewing

Posts: 944
Joined: 8/31/2005
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My mate suffered from depression after the loss of our beloveds less than a year apart, followed by the loss of the grant that paid her research salary (thus losing job and house). She is normally a dominant person, but while she was recovering, she took a more relaxed mode in our collective--others of us picked up many of the responsibilities that she carried, and, as she was interested in picking them back up, we re-negotiated our responsibilities.

I think that it is pretty typical that the times that our own lives feel out of control, it is difficult to think about having control over and responsibility for others. It's a pretty good sign that what you need to be doing right now is working on the reasons why you are where you are in mind and emotion. You'll know when the time is right to consider more responsibilities, because you'll be interested in it again.

I also want to congratulate you for noticing this. I've had the challenge of managing pastoral counseling for couples and groups that have had the leading dominant suffering from depression. It can get messy if the dominant doesn't realize that his or her emotional state affects the way that xhe manages everything else in hir life, including the servants under hir control.

Lady Zephyr

quote:

ORIGINAL: CalliopePurple

Depression can strike anyone, but (and I hate using this phrase), is it "typical" or "normal" for a dominant to feel abnormally submissive during the worst episodes? The desire to completely screw being the one in charge and letting someone else make all the decisions and tell you what to do because it just might help with the fear and tears and thoughts of self-harm. Yes, that's been my recent mood.

Makes me almost happy I'm not looking for relationships because I'm sure I'd confuse the hell out of a sub right now. Mood swings suck.

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Post #: 26