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lusciouslips19 -> RE: Do kinky people have more empathy? (2/11/2008 5:17:21 PM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Aswad
Just explain the intricacies of customs, body language and social expectations to the kid, down to the tiniest details. [;)]
No, seriously, what I would suggest is to locate an adult aspie who is socially and occupationally functional, in the sense of being happy with it themselves, and who has the patience to both answer questions for you and act as a role model for the kid. Pay this person for their time, if necessary. If you don't have it, there's a lot of stuff you can't really teach, because you don't know it. Stuff like coping skills. Or how human body language and culture works in social interactions, and why one has to put up with it, even if it's stupid and offensive. Things like that.
There was a thread a while back that dealt extensively with some of the topics, as someone had an aspie sub.
I often get asked for tips about this, since a lot of parents realize that the bulk of the advice they get from official sources deals with treating the condition of being a parent to an aspie, rather than dealing with the subject of aspies and how to be a good parent to one. But while I can occasionally give some advice, and tend to connnect well with the kids themselves, there really isn't any substitute for exposure. Kind of like how a dog can raise a kitten, but it'll end up wagging its tail at the wrong times, and the other cats won't get it, plus there's stuff the dog can't pass on, because it's a dog and not a cat. Understanding how to fit in among neurotypicals isn't intuitive or easy.
For an analogy, please try to explain to me how to breathe in.
I've never met anyone who can explain that. And a lot of the stuff that the kid needs to learn will be just as second-nature to you as breathing. It wouldn't occur to you that it needs explaining. And a regular kid doesn't need to have it explained, since they pick it up automatically. But an aspie will usually need to have such things explained, or they end up having to figure it out for themselves, which is roughly comparable to how it would be for an American adult to find themselves stranded in Asia without knowing the language, culture or body language. It works, and it will eventually happen to some extent by sheer necessity, but it can be frustrating, and it need not be.
Also, if the kid has trouble reading emotions, save up for classes with Paul Ekman, or get his courseware, or both.
Health,
al-Aswad.
My son has support through school and me. He gets assistance through the social worker at school, a social interraction group he goes to, speech therapy and a resource teacher that helps him with organizational skills and aid from his teacher. Its not always easy for him. he's smart but easily frustated with is deficets. I see him depressed because of lack of identifying with other kids. He takes great pride in his intelligence.
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