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Honsoku -> RE: extremely reluctant "submissives" (2/12/2008 6:59:05 PM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: iammachine
As far as finding out what you're twuly looking for.... again in my personal experience, I generally didn't know what it was exactly, and wasn't looking for that matter. I just kind of know what I want when I find it. :)
I can relate to that. It's is difficult to figure out what you are looking for without experience. It's even harder to be right about it. This is why I described what I thought I was looking for, but said immediately afterwards, something to the effect of; "However, I am always interested in exploring other possibilities". Because I'm sure there are a vast array of other options which I have never even considered, some of which may appeal to me more than what I what I think I'm looking for.
quote:
ORIGINAL: RedMagic1
quote:
ORIGINAL: Honsoku
I fully understand not listing sexually oriented information, but to say nothing about yourself and expect to receive a personalized message? What in the nine hells are we supposed to base our conversation off of?
"Hi. I'm writing you because you have a nice smile and I love that style of hair. You don't have much written in your profile, and I wish there was more, because I'm intrigued. Think of it this way. We're at a party right now, across the room. I notice you, and try to make eye contact, but we don't know anything about each other yet. I come to this site becaue I am hoping to make friends, and develop a special connection with someone. So I care about who you are, not just how you look. Please write back, ask me any questions you want, and tell me something special about yourself."
This would seem like a form letter (though a very nice one), which doesn't meet the requirement that the message be personal. Everything except the first line could be sent to anyone with little to nothing in their profile. Hence the contradiction between information provided in the profile and desired responses. I understand that you are saying that there are ways, but my point was that content free profiles dramatically reduces the quality of response a person can return. If you want quality responses, you need to put in some effort.
To me this highlights the difference between meeting people online and in the flesh. In the flesh you can do this sort of approach because, even at a party, there are maybe 20 other people who will attempt to strike up a conversation that night (if it's a big party) and everyone will see who everyone else strikes up a conversation with. Here, there are women that get that many messages every hour and they have no idea how many other people you have sent that message to. The difference between meeting people online and meeting people in the flesh is also why I think women tend to be seriously handicapped by cultural norms when it comes to meeting people online.
quote:
ORIGINAL: toserves
think this may also be the case about the profiles on sites like this. Some people regardless of the role or gender are too afraid of taking the time to write out a meaningful profile out of fear that if they truly put themselves out there and no one they are attracted to shows any interest. So we get negative filled this is what I do not want, endless quotes taking off the web, the what can a person get from a few words, and all other justifications why people often refuse to bare themselves on a site like this.
You nailed exactly what I meant by "shyness". Shyness generally stems from the fear of rejection.
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